


Seashells and Stardust

by The_Pen_Dragon



Series: P5 Parent AU! [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: AU where Akira and Goro are both single dads, Fluff and Angst, Goro has Dissociative Identity Disorder, GoroBigBang2020, Hurt/Comfort, Jose is Goro's adopted son, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, The twins are Akira's daughters, a few breakdowns, mentions of child neglect/abuse, non power AU, strangers to kind of enemies to lovers, the lads doing their best and being good dads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28684449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Pen_Dragon/pseuds/The_Pen_Dragon
Summary: "Make a wish!" the little boy clasped his hands together and squeezed his big amber eyes shut tight. His deep brown hair glowed almost gold in the planetarium's incandescent lighting, and Goro smiled. Jose was the boy he had adopted two years ago and was, in every sense of the word, his son. He was a constant spark of joy in his otherwise mundane life.Goro hoisted up the heavy eight year old, thinking he was getting too heavy to carry; it was a thought that caused a twinge of sadness in his chest. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, holding Jose tight, "I wouldn't know what to wish for. I have you, a good job, and a nice house. What else could we possibly need?"
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, other background ships
Series: P5 Parent AU! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102532
Comments: 49
Kudos: 196
Collections: Goro Big Bang 2020, Shuake





	1. The Stars Above

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo!! I'm so excited to finally post my piece for the Goro Big Bang!! It's an amazing event that a lot of fantastically talented and dedicated people worked hard on since September! It was an honor to be part of the mod team, and I can't wait to see everyone's final projects!
> 
> That being said, another HUGE thanks to Violet_911, my amazing editor, and [Zeiskyte](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeiskyte/pseuds/Zeiskyte), my friend and fellow mod who also helped beta this fic! Her work is all wonderful and you should definitely go check her out! 
> 
> I was also fortunate enough to have three incredibly talented artists work with me on this piece, and you'll find the links to their twitters (as well as the direct posts with their images) in the end notes!
> 
> Edit: **THIS FIC NOW HAS RELATED WORKS!!** The wonderfully talented Zeiskyte wrote a Sumi and Loki fic that is absolutely amazing!!! [Check it out here!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972175)

"Make a wish!" the little boy clasped his hands together and squeezed his big amber eyes shut tight. His deep brown hair glowed almost gold in the planetarium's incandescent lighting, and Goro smiled. Jose was the boy he had adopted two years ago and was, in every sense of the word, his son. He was a constant spark of joy in his otherwise mundane life. 

Goro looked up at the planetarium's ceiling, the endless stars scattered above, currently playing a projection of a meteor shower, "I don't know if wishing works on fake shooting stars, Jose," Goro chuckled softly. 

"Why not? It's not really about the stars, is it?" Jose responded, opening his eyes to stare up above, "wishes are all about believing, and I believe real hard. So you make a wish too, okay?" 

Goro hoisted up the heavy eight year old, thinking he was getting too heavy to carry; it was a thought that caused a twinge of sadness in his chest. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, holding Jose tight, "I wouldn't know what to wish for. I have you, a good job, and a nice house. What else could we need?" 

"Hm… maybe a fish. Or a cat! Or…" Jose did that thing, a strange habit of his where he'd scrunch his nose up really hard, like his whole face had to condense to get the gears turning in his little head. "Another adult." 

Goro laughed and shook his head, turning to walk out of the starry room, "Another adult?” he teased lightly, “are you trying to tell me I'm a bad dad?" 

Jose gasped, shaking his head vigorously, "Of course not papa! I just wish you had somebody big to tell you when to go to sleep or take care of yourself!” he paused briefly, “or maybe to help you make breakfast. You _are_ kind of bad at that." 

Goro snorted softly, "I appreciate your honesty. But don't waste those wishes on me, I don't need another person telling me what to do. That's my job for both of us."

Jose huffed and crossed his arms, thinking for a second before saying, "Well… maybe a cat then." 

"Keep your grades up and we'll talk about it." 

Goro was just about to set Jose back down when two blurs knocked into him, the first nearly knocking him over, and the second slapping his waist so hard he was surprised his belt didn't come off. He dropped Jose, who fortunately landed on his feet, and called after the blurs, "HEY!"

Jose whirled around, pointing after the blurs and calling out, "Thieves!"

Goro rubbed his head, kneeling down to check Jose over for any scrapes or bruises, fighting hard not to voice his venomous thoughts about gutting whoever nearly hurt his child, “Are you hurt?” his brain buffered for a moment before processing what Jose had actually said. “And what do you mean, _thieves_?”

Jose shook his head, "I'm okay, but they stole something! I saw them grab something out of your pocket when they ran."

Goro frowned, taking a minute to pat his pockets. He had thought it was just a couple rude little shits who weren't looking where they were going, but sure enough, his right pocket was devoid of a wallet. Those little _crooks._ He turned and looked off in the direction they had run, spotting two little girls failing miserably at hiding behind some seats in the planetarium.

Goro took Jose's hand, not wanting to lose him in the sparse crowd, and headed towards the girls. Jose puffed his little cheeks up, looking like a puppy trying its hardest to appear menacing, "hey!" he called, not any scarier than said imaginary pup, "You shouldn't steal stuff!"

The girls stilled and turned in a mirror image of each other. Their wide, hetero-chromatic eyes stared first at Jose, then rose to look at Goro. Glittering butterfly clips were stuck on opposite sides of their raven-haired heads. Goro suddenly remembered just how creepy twins were. If not for their differing hairstyles, he might've thought he'd wandered into The Shining.

"...we didn't take anything," one spoke, a little girl with her hair done up in an intricate braid.

"Yeah! Who are you to accuse us of being thieves, huh?!" the other demanded, crossing her arms and very poorly trying to hide the contents of Goro's wallet by tucking it against her chest. Her tiny arms doing nothing to actually conceal it.

Goro let out a short sigh, not wanting to be too mean in front of his son and set some kind of bad example. But God was it hard to be patient with little fucks like this. Where were their parents? Probably wandering around somewhere with their heads up their own asses.

He forced a smile and did his best not to sound angry as he held out a hand, "You should return that now. And whatever cash you managed to dig out of it in the last minute. Where, exactly, are your parents?"

The girl with the braid picked up the wallet and slapped it into Goro's open palm, "You have a very boring wallet. Who has two different library cards?"

The other little girl handed him back his ID, "You should make them take a new picture, you look _awful_ in this."

Goro sighed heavily, stuffing his ID back into his wallet and checking to make sure the cash was still inside. "I'm either taking you to your parents, or security. Your choice. But I'm not leaving you little gremlins alone to harass other people."

Jose nodded in agreement, "Yeah, your parents wouldn't like you taking stuff like that I bet. Why'd you even do that?"

The girls looked at each other, grinned, and then turned back to Goro. The one with the braid motioned for him to lean down, like she wanted to whisper something. He begrudgingly did so. When his face was about level with theirs, both girls shoved him so hard he fell over, snatched the wallet back, and made a break for the exit, all while laughing and shrieking.  
  
Goro was about to call after them, but he wasn’t even standing before Jose had already taken off after the girls. Goro paled, scrambling up faster and hurrying after them. Jose was a sweet boy, and he wasn’t worried he’d try and hurt those girls; It was those little brats he was worried about. He wouldn’t put it past them to hit his baby to get away with their crime, and Goro wasn’t sure he’d be able to restrain himself from picking the little fucks up and punting them if that happened.  
  
He caught sight of them just as the twins burst out of an emergency exit, Jose not far behind them. An alarm sounded, a loud ringing indicating the door had been opened, and Goro sprinted out behind them. He wasn’t sure what he expected to find, being only a few seconds behind the children, but whatever it was, it wasn’t this.  
  
Jose was sitting on the ground, covering his ears as the alarm was still terribly loud outside, and both of the raven haired gremlins were clinging to the legs of an equally raven haired man, who was trying hard to calm Jose. The man held Goro’s wallet in one hand, and was trying to reassure Jose that everything was okay and he didn’t need to be scared.  
  
Goro strode over, digging something out of his jacket pocket as he reminded himself again and again that violence was never the answer. Not in front of his kid, anyway. He knelt in front of Jose, entirely ignoring the raven trio for the time being. He could chew out the man for being an obviously terrible parent after he got Jose to calm down.  
  
“Uh...is he your kid..?” the stranger asked.  
  
Goro replied with a curt, “Yes.”  
  
It was a typical question, a bit exhausting, but understandable. Jose was a beige skinned Filipino boy, and Goro was, well, a brunette Japanese man. They didn’t exactly look related. Not like the man and his ill behaved spawn. Goro would deal with the idiot in a minute, though, Jose was more important. He held out a small pair of molded ear plugs, and reached out with his other hand, resting it carefully on Jose’s knee. The little boy jumped, tensing for a minute before he recognized Goro in front of him. Goro just silently presented the foam plugs to him, which, after a minute of processing, he took and stuck them in his ears. He then ran into Goro’s arms, pressing his face into his chest and making small sounds.  
  
Goro stood up straight, holding Jose close, and turned towards the others. “Alright,” he started coldly, confident that Jose couldn’t hear him very well, “those are your little shits, yes?”  
  
The raven haired man’s mouth opened and closed a couple times, and one of the little girls, the one with her hair in buns, loudly said, “You chased us out here! You’re a creep! I bet that isn’t even your son!”  
  
Goro glared at the child, and she quickly shrank back behind her father. The man looked down at the wallet in his hand, then glanced back at his kids. He looked back at the incredibly irritated Goro and said, “...this is your wallet, isn’t it?”  
  
Goro grinned, sharp and not at all polite, “Why yes. It is.”  
  
The man’s face reddened a bit as he held it out, “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into them lately-”  
  
Before the man could finish his half-assed apology, three security guards came outside, trying to find out why the emergency exit alarm was blaring. One of them got the alarm turned back off, and the other two approached the men and their children.  
  
“Did either of you or your children use that door?” one of the women asked sternly, seeming to be in about as good of a mood as Goro.  
  
The two men exchanged a glance, and, deciding that this woman looked like she was itching to make them sit down and either pay a fine or endure a good lecture, both responded, “No.”  
  
“I was over here to smoke,” the stranger said simply, “I was just about to head home with my girls.”  
  
Goro pet Jose’s hair, “I got separated from my son and found him out here, he must have wandered back out the front door when I wasn’t looking.”  
  
The woman grit her teeth, clearly not believing them. However, her coworker put a hand on her shoulder, saying, “It’s not worth it, Sharon.” He turned to the two men and continued, “both of you get out of here. The space behind the building is off limits, understand?”  
  
The stranger bowed halfway, flushed a deeper red, and said, “y-yeah, I’ll-” He hesitated, seeming too embarrassed to make eye contact with any of the other adults. “...Come on kids, let’s go now.”  
  
Goro nodded simply, “good day,” and headed off after the other.  
  
The two were quiet until they got to the parking lot, and then began to split off, heading back to their cars. Goro paused, however, and hurried to catch up to the other man, all while trying to make sure Jose was still calm in his arms.  
  
“Hey!” he snapped, startling the man into dropping his car keys.  
  
The other turned back to him, a sheepish look on his face, “Oh, hey. Thanks for going with that and not just ratting my kids out. I appreciate it.”  
  
Goro stepped closer, eyes narrowing slightly as he looked the other in the eye, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”  
  
The man picked up his keys and shrugged innocently, “I don’t think so? I really am sorry about my girls, I’ll be sure to talk to them about this.”  
  
Goro raised one eyebrow. “And..?”  
  
“And?”  
  
“My wallet?”  
  
The man’s expression went blank for a moment, the physical manifestation of a loading screen. Then, strangely, a grin split the man’s lips. His eyes suddenly looked sharper, a mischievous gleam to them that just hadn’t been there moments ago. He produced the wallet and offered it out, held between two fingers, “Nothing gets past you, does it?”  
  
Goro blinked, a little startled. What kind of asshole looked _happy_ about being caught in a lie?! And he hadn’t noticed at first, too busy seeing red to see past it, but now that confusion had cleared up his anger a bit, he realized just how striking this man was. Which was...admittedly a weird thing to think about a man who had just tried to get away with taking his wallet.  
  
He snatched the wallet back and stuck it in his pocket, carefully shifting Jose’s weight into one arm, “I’m _sorry_? Are you some sort of deranged con artist?”

The man chuckled and opened the back door to his car, “Caroline, Justine, get on in the car. Justy, start it up, okay sweetie?” He tossed the keys to the braid haired girl, and they both climbed into the vehicle.  
  
“I’m Akira,” the man replied, “and I’m not a con artist. Former pickpocket, maybe, but no conning here.”  
  
Goro bared his teeth, adjusting Jose and pressing his head more comfortably against his shoulder, “and you thought you could just walk off with my fucking wallet? What kind of example are you setting for your demon twins? They certainly take after you.”  
  
Akira glanced back towards his car, where one little girl, Justine, Goro thought, was aiming the keys at the ignition and just not quite getting it. He looked back at Goro, “I’ll talk to them about it, I really haven’t done this kind of thing in years-”  
  
“You were literally taking my things, which your children pick-pocketed.”  
  
“Habit!” Akira defended, as if that made up for absolutely anything. “I returned it, right? I just want to go home, and I think your kid probably does too.”  
  
Goro wanted to argue this further, maybe drag this bastard to a security guard after all, but he looked down at Jose and changed his mind. The boy was still clinging to him, his eyes screwed shut as he made soft, almost inaudible little humming sounds. He had been so upset he hadn’t realized Jose was still this stressed. He needed to get him home, it wasn’t worth it to stand here and keep yelling at a thieving moron. He looked up to tell Akira as much, but the man and his car were already pulling out. He looked out the window, inexplicably winked, then drove off. His demons made faces out the back window.  
  
Goro felt a headache coming on. He just wanted a nice day with his son, why did people always have to ruin nice, simple outings? He sighed heavily and walked back to his car, getting Jose buckled up and wrapped in his favorite starry patterned weighted blanket. He pushed up his bangs and kissed his forehead. Jose smiled at him, wobbly and not quite as bright as his usual happy self.  
  
Jose spoke, a little too loud due to the ear plugs, “I’m okay, papa. Just wanna go home now.”  
  
Goro gave a thumbs up, knowing better than to try and talk loud enough for Jose to hear with the plugs in, and got in the car to drive them back.  
  
By the time they got home, Jose was asleep. Car rides were usually pretty calming for him, and that blanket was such a help. Goro was eternally thankful to Ann for telling him about it. Ann...he had to call her about this, she wasn’t going to believe the insanity. He checked the time on his phone, just past 4:30, meaning she’d be off daycare duty by now.  
  
Gathering up Jose and the blanket, Goro carried both inside. He got his son all settled in bed, took out his ear plugs, and left him to nap off the stress of the day. He might be up a little late into the night, but that was okay, it was more important he get to sleep and reset.  
  
Goro walked off to the kitchen, getting to work on lunch as he called Ann. He tucked his phone between his ear and shoulder as he dug through the cabinets for something he could make without burning the whole place down. 

"Hii!" Ann's voice greeted him from the other end of the line, "I didn't think you'd be back so early! Did it go well? How's my favorite star boy?" 

Goro smiled a bit; Ann's chipper mood almost enough to raise his own out of the 'bitter' category it was firmly settled in. "It went well for the first few hours, and then the whole thing ended in some kind of surrealist fever dream." 

A pause, then Ann replied, "you sound _so_ stressed. Did something happen-did Jose have an episode after all? Planetariums are usually pretty quiet, I really thought-" 

"He's fine now, it's okay," Goro said as he spread some peanut butter on bread a bit too hard, tearing right through it. "the place was perfect, Ann. He loved it, it was just an alarm that went off after those little imps ran through the damn emergency exit-" 

"I-huh?" 

Goro continued moving the knife, almost absently, "I got fucking _pickpocketed_ by _children_ and they ran off with-I should have kicked them or knocked their little heads together or something-and that _insufferable_ man-" 

"Goro, Goro woah okay hold-hold on! I'm so freaking lost. Just… settle down, I'll be over with lunch and we can talk. I'm assuming you haven't eaten yet today?" she asked, gently accusatory. 

Goro was about to tell her that he was making lunch already, but he looked down and saw the absolutely decimated bread in front of him, peanut butter everywhere, and just said, "...I'll see you soon. Thanks, Ann."

"You'd be lost without me I know," Ann hummed, "I'll be there in twenty!" 

\---

Goro has just finished cleaning up and pouring himself a glass of water when Ann texted him to open the door. She never knocked, and Goro had long since disabled his doorbell, precautions to make sure Jose wouldn't be unnecessarily startled. It had taken Goro months to figure out which things set Jose off and how to work around them, and he was sure there were plenty of things the sweet child still insisted were okay when they really weren't. 

Jose reminded Goro of himself in a lot of ways at that age. He never talked about any of his previous families, and still seemed to think the best answer to being overwhelmed was to just curl up in a ball and refuse to admit he needed help. Goro was sure he'd learned it from the orphanage. They might be in America, but some things seemed to stay the same regardless of culture. People were still cruel, water was still wet, orphans learned early and swiftly that only quiet children with no needs get love. 

It had taken Goro well into his twenties to figure out how to even begin trusting other people; it was something he was glad Jose would learn far earlier. He might not be the most stable man, but Goro would be damned if he didn't give that child the best life he could. 

He was lucky to have one or two friends to help him work through all the struggles of learning to be a good parent. He was most grateful to Ann, one of the only people he considered a truly reliable friend.

He opened the door, and his blonde friend smiled sympathetically, holding up a small bag as she walked in.

"I swung by the store and picked up a couple sandwiches. I also got a couple of those super tough to chew sugarless candies Jose likes, sounds like he could use one. Is he sleeping right now?" 

Goro closed the door and followed her to the couch, "He is. I'll wake him up in an hour or so if he's not up on his own. I'm glad you offered to come over, I think I might break something if I don't tell someone about this." 

"Your wall really can't handle you getting that mad again," Ann teased lightly, holding out a wrapped sandwich. 

Goro took it with a short sigh, "Very funny. That was five years ago, and I don’t even recall it happening. When will you let it go?" 

"You actually have a crack across your _ceiling_ from it, tangible proof. I am never letting that go," Ann retorted, "but I want to know more about today. Did he enjoy the show? And did I hear you right earlier when you said some kids pickpocketed you or..?" 

Goro let out a huff. "Well, a positive is that he certainly did enjoy himself, yes. The show was his favorite, and he loved pointing out the different star and planet exhibits and telling me what kind they were. As for the _negative_ part of the day…" 

Goro took a breath, and then began to recount the whole mess to Ann, who was listening with wide eyes the entire time. She had the audacity to snort when he told her about getting knocked over, and her expression changed to something else entirely when he began describing the fucking con artist parent. 

"-and then the asshole _winks_ before peeling out! I swear to God Ann, if my little angel hadn't needed all of my attention right then, I might have actually chased the car down out of spite."

Ann was nodding, slowly chewing a rather large bite as Goro finished his story. She swallowed, coughed, and replied, "So first off, that's like, wild. And I'm so sorry star boy had a rough time of it. He's always so sweet, actually running after the other kids like that… ugh, if I ever have kids of my own, I hope they're as good as yours." 

Goro smiled a bit, feeling a lot better after venting, and somewhat proud that yes, his baby _was_ an amazing kid. Far better than that sharp-eyed bastard's little-

"Second off," Ann cut into his thought tangent, taking another bite of her sandwich before continuing, "you made thish dad guy schound kinda hot." 

Goro blinked in his stupor. "... _what?_ "

Ann swallowed and said, "Oh c'mon, a lean man with molten silver eyes and messy hair? Total dilf. Did he have stubble too? I totally dig stubble."

"You are _married_ ," Goro protested, honestly not knowing where to start with the rest of that statement. 

Ann nodded. "Yeah, and if Shiho decided she wanted stubble, I'd support it so hard."

Goro rubbed his temple. "I'm going to get a migraine…" 

"Well duh! Eat already! Your sandwich is still wrapped up," Ann scolded, "but I _am_ being serious, Goro. You think this guy was cute or what?" 

Goro picked up his food with a sigh. "He tried to steal from me, Ann." 

"Yeah, and that's super wrong," she agreed, "but like… it was in a suave, old fashioned anime villain kinda way." 

Goro exhaled loudly through his nose. "I'm reprimanding Futaba for getting you into Lupin the Third next time we talk. Just because he was a dark haired man with some modicum of intelligence does not make him some kind of gentleman thief." 

"I mean… he did return it… ooh, did he give you a name?" 

"Why are you so intent on romanticizing me nearly getting robbed by two children and their shitty dad?" 

"You're the one who made him sound super hot…" 

Goro balked, "How does my describing a man in a completely normal way make you think I thought that?" 

Ann smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Describe him again. Exactly what you remember him looking like." 

Goro huffed, irritated, but decided to play along or she'd never drop it. "He was roughly my height, Japanese too, I believe. He had messy dark curls and these intense eyes...they weren't intense at first, he actually seemed somewhat shy initially, but then…" Goro rested his chin in his palm, looking up slightly as he recalled the man's expression again, "he got this bright little twinkle in his eyes, I swear it was like looking at silver fire. I didn't know someone could switch between unassuming and rawly passionate like that… and his teeth felt sharp when he smiled, you know what I mean? And he… fucking tried to rob me. I don't get why you'd ever think I had or _should_ have any interest in someone who did that!"

Ann looked like she was trying not to laugh. Goro didn't know what the hell joke he was missing here. He finally took a bite of his sandwich, just squinting, annoyed, as he waited for Ann to respond. She actually had her mouth covered, like he'd just said the funniest shit in the world. 

"Oh my God," she finally managed, still muffled behind her hand. 

"What?" Goro demanded, angrily taking another bite. 

She shook her head and said, "You seriously don't hear yourself sometimes, huh? _Please_ tell me this guy gave you a name."

Goro's nose scrunched up a bit as he tried to recall. The man _had_ made some half-assed attempt at an introduction. "... Akira, I believe." 

Ann nodded slowly, then froze. She covered her mouth again, this time looking just as shocked as she did amused, "Akira..? And um, uh, you said he had… twin little girls? They didn't happen to have um, multi-colored eyes, did they?" 

Goro was incredibly confused now, and answered, "yes..? The little demons had heterochromia, grey and blue irises. It might have looked cute on any other child." 

Ann let out a shaky sound between a laugh and some sort of distress signal, Goro was pretty sure. She squeezed her eyes shut and suppressed a laugh so hard her whole body shuddered. 

It took her a minute, but after several attempts at taking a breath and finally letting out a sharp quack of a laugh, she managed to speak, "He um-he just moved here and I met him and his kids like two days ago!" 

Goro was silent. Because… what. 

_WHAT.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_

"He seemed so nice and normal and shy? And oh my god I am sorry but he was not as hot as you're saying. You're just thirsty as fuck." She was giggling, now only amused and no longer caring at all about the fact Goro had, in fact, still almost lost his damn wallet. 

"He's not shy! It's a ruse!" Goro snapped, feeling his cheeks heat up. "You didn't see the _look_ he had alright?!" 

"Maybe being single for so long is getting to you? I mean, he wasn't ugly or anything, but like…'rawly passionate' might be the horniest thing I've ever heard you say about another person. And he was so not that," Ann continued, snickering. "His kids were super smart too, total gremlins though, you're right about _that_ at least." 

Goro's whole face was burning, was that really how he'd described Akira? That couldn't be right… damn Ann for laughing at him. Damn her in general. 

Goro finished his sandwich quietly, flustered into silence as Ann snickered and snorted her way through the next five minutes. Goro's frustrated embarrassment was finally interrupted by the sound of pattering feet. 

He looked up as Jose walked slowly into the room. His eyes were bright, if not still a little sleepy. The boy looked first at his dad, then at Ann, a big grin cracking across his tired face. He yawned as he wandered over to the couch. 

"Miss Ann!" he managed to sound pretty excited for a kid still barely keeping his eyes open. "I'm happy you're here." 

Ann smiled back, her whole face lighting up as she held out her arms, offering a hug if it was wanted. "I'm happy to see you too, Star Boy! Did you have a good nap?" 

He nodded, reaching out and grabbing one of her arms, hugging that instead of her whole body. She accepted the gesture with a big smile, and gently patted his head with her free hand. 

Goro smiled softly at them. "You're happy Ann is here hm, and why's that?" 

Jose let go of Ann and climbed up onto the couch, flopping his whole little body into Goro's lap, still barely awake. "Mm… 'cause you were stressed out. Miss Ann always helps everybody with calm down time." 

Goro shook his head and ran a hand through Jose's hair. "You think I was stressed?” He paused, wondering just how much Jose had picked up on, “Well, maybe a little. But you don't have to worry about that, okay?" 

Jose nodded and yawned, "Mmhm. Because Miss Ann will help." 

Ann put a hand on her heart and mouthed 'angel baby', before saying out loud, "Well, your dad and I talked and had a good calm down time. And I teased him a little bit for being silly. Do you feel better after calm down time, dad?" 

Goro snorted softly. It was a phrase Ann always used at daycare; she'd sit angry children aside and talk to them, then confirm they felt better by asking them that. Goro thought it was the dumbest thing in the world, and that sometimes rude children just needed to be put in time out and told to stop being fuck-heads. But Ann was considered the best for a reason, and he did have to admit her methods worked well. 

"Yes, Miss Ann, I'm feeling much better," he replied in a sweet, half teasing tone. He turned back to Jose with a small smile. "She was very helpful, Jose. She always is. Even if she _does_ tease a bit." 

Jose nodded, seeming satisfied with that, and then said, a little quiet, "I'm okay too. I feel better after sleeping. Sorry I got upset, papa. Did I ruin our day?" 

Goro frowned, hoisting Jose up and cuddling him to his chest, "Don't be ridiculous, you could _never_ ruin our day. And you don't need to apologize for how you feel, okay? I had fun learning about stars. You did too, didn't you?" 

Jose nodded silently. 

"Well, if we had fun, then it was a good day. Next time, maybe we can bring someone else who loves stars, like Aunt Futaba?" Goro suggested. 

Jose pulled back a bit and gasped, his eyes shining, all sadness and worry forgotten, "Is she coming to visit soon?!" 

Ann clapped her hands together. "You didn't tell me Futaba was visiting soon! I gotta plan a lunch date, and ask her why my computer is acting funny…" 

Goro smiled at Jose, answering both of them. "Yes, it's almost that time of year already. She'll be coming some time in the next couple weeks. We can show her the planetarium and see which one of you knows more about planets."

"I only know the seven planets in our solar system, and even that's a stretch sometimes," Ann sighed. 

"Um…there are eight planets, Miss Ann," Jose corrected sheepishly. 

"They got rid of Pluto though?" Ann replied, looking genuinely confused. 

\---

For the rest of the weekend, Goro couldn't help his mind wandering back to what Ann had said. Akira was in this area somewhere, and he had already connected with Ann's daycare. If he was doing that, the odds of his hell creatures being transfers to Jose's school were higher than Goro liked. And even if the man's sharp features had popped into one or two of Goro's passing thoughts, it didn't mean he wanted to ever see the bastard in person again. 

On Monday, however, his fears were confirmed. He'd received an email from PTA staff about a late transfer, along with a request for any parents willing to help get the family acquainted with the school system, since they had just moved from Japan not too long ago. 

A part of Goro wanted to quit the PTA right there just to be positive he'd never have to see Akira again. And the other part of him was already typing up a reply, saying he'd be happy to show the man around. 

Maybe Goro was hoping that being stuck with him for a couple hours would make the man so uncomfortable that he transferred again out of shame. Maybe Goro wanted to watch him squirm in front of all the other parents, knowing Goro could rat him out at any minute. Or maybe Goro just had some morbidly curious part of him that demanded to be satisfied, demanded to learn more about the uniquely strange man. 

No matter the reason, however, Goro replied saying he could do it, and promptly ignored the reply from one of the moms, Stephanie, that said 'letting the only other Asian parent do it might be easier anyway, what if the new guy doesn't English good?' 

Goro hated that woman. Sometimes he thought he must be a masochist for staying with the PTA for this long. It was true that the group was 90% middle aged white moms, but the school was actually pretty diverse, and he was certainly not the only other Asian. Hell, he wasn't even the only other Japanese parent _in the fucking group_. Why were some people so irritatingly stupid..? 

Goro just brushed it off though, and got Jose up and ready for the day. 

He arrived at the front doors of the school just in time to see one of the other women on the PTA, Makoto, politely correcting Stephanie's stupidity. 

Makoto's daughter, Suki, was standing in a little mirror of her mother, arms crossed and looking haughtily at the embarrassed mother as Makoto was saying, "-and just because it's not standard for Americans to be bilingual does not mean you should push your standards on others. Just think before you speak _one_ time, please." 

Goro didn't get along well with Makoto, but this was pretty satisfying to watch. He could give her that. Jose was glued to Goro's side, holding onto his arm as they approached. 

"Oh good morning," Goro greeted, not bothering to hide his smugly entertained expression. "I was hoping for more details about the new family. Will I be showing them around today? Do you happen to know what type of Asian they are? I know how similar we all look to you." 

Stephanie was beet red, and actually looked like she was on the brink of tears. It was _fantastic_ . "I was really tired, okay?! I'm sorry, I didn't mean-just-”  
  
She paused to take a short, shaky breath. “Ganging up on me is mean! Th-the dad is waiting in our meeting room." 

Goro gave a pleasant smile, "Thank you so very much." 

Makoto just shook her head, sighing and saying, "Look, it's not that big a deal, nothing to cry over. Just try using that brain of yours every now and then. And you didn't have to walk up and pile on, Akechi."

Goro crossed his arms in a mimic of hers, target shifting now that the other mom had been sufficiently shamed. "Oh and I'm sure you weren't being harsh in the slightest, _Niijima_. If you don't mind, I'm actually here for a reason. Why don't you and your mini clone go back to berating the librarians for their sub par organization system?" 

"You shouldn't insult children!" the little girl, who had the same straight brown hair and piercing eyes of her mother, scolded. 

Makoto grit her teeth and said, "Go on to class, Suki, I'll drop off your violin later."

Suki glared up at Goro, then looked at Jose, who had been quiet this whole time. "Hey. Do you wanna walk to classes with me?" 

Jose looked up at Goro, frowning. "That was kinda mean, papa. We shouldn't be rude just because we don't like someone, right?" 

Goro closed his eyes and counted down from three in his head. He had forgotten his boy was still right here. He usually spit poison at Makoto _after_ Jose had gone to classes for the day. "... You're right, that was mean. I'm sorry."

Jose nodded and moved away from Goro, extending a hand to Suki. "Okay, we can go now."

Suki took his hand and glared at Goro one last time before the two disappeared inside. 

Makoto snickered, "I can't believe Jose actually makes you behave. Where can I learn his tricks?" 

"You know, it's a shame your wife didn't use her eggs instead, it might look less comical when you both glare at me if Suki weren't essentially your clone." 

"It's a little early for this, start drinking your bitch juice early this morning, did you?" Makoto shot back. 

At some point during all this, Stephanie had retreated, and as the bell chimed, Goro realized he was keeping Akira waiting. Or was it funnier if he kept him waiting? 

Ultimately Goro decided he should probably go do what he'd signed up for instead of having another hour long insult match with Makoto, so he said, "Oh, the bell. Well, I'm off to selflessly take time out of my busy work day to show someone around. Have fun working to crawl out of your sister's shadow at the legal offices!" 

"Have fun returning home to your no partner to write alone in your home office for ten hours!" Makoto called after him as he stalked off inside. 

\---

When Goro arrived at the room set aside for PTA meetings and the occasional club gathering, he found two people inside. Akira, sitting at the long table, reflective glasses perched on his nose. And the gym teacher, his other close friend Sumire, talking eagerly to the man in Japanese. She was so excited, right in the middle of telling him how nice most of the other parents were and how she'd gladly help him any way she could. 

Akira was quiet, looking almost insecure as he replied with simple, one word answers. He seemed so small and polite… what a load of shit. 

"Good morning," Goro greeted, also in Japanese, "I'm here to show around the new parent." 

Sumire gasped happily, eyes wide and sparkling as she shifted back to English, "Goro san! I can't believe you volunteered to help someone else, that's amazing! I just met Akira, but I was just telling him like five minutes ago that I think you guys will really get along. I don't know why, just a feeling I have. I know it's hard for you to make new friends, but you're actually making the effort this time! Yay!"

Goro shook his head slightly, watching her practically vibrate. Akira, on the other hand, looked as if he were suddenly made of stone. He was dead still, mouth pressed into a thin line. Goro felt quite satisfied, seeing that. 

He grinned and replied, "Oh I'm sure we'll get along quite well. We've met once before, and needless to say he certainly stole my attention." 

Sumire bounced on her heels and speed-walked to the door. "Well, I've got to set up the equipment for the day. Enjoy your tour, and you'll both have to tell me how it goes later! Nice to meet you, Akira!" 

Then Sumire was gone. Goro slid into a seat across from the other man, feeling overwhelmingly satisfied. "Well good _morning_. You have no idea how delighted I am to be the one who gets to show you around today. Akira, was it?" 

Akira sucked in a breath, leaning back in his seat and running a hand through his messy curls, "Well played."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The phenomenal artists for this fic were:
> 
> [Cover Image by Ermina](https://twitter.com/Ermina_29/status/1348579577019437057?s=19)  
> [Comic by Blitheimp](https://twitter.com/blitheimp/status/1348625123205672961?s=19)  
> [End Picture by Fry](https://twitter.com/certifries/status/1348561867350925312?s=19)


	2. The Space Between

After an incredibly tense tour of the school, showing Akira where he could find facilities, where to pick up his children after school, things like that, the two left the building. Goro walked with Akira to the parking lot, still feeling satisfied with his petty retaliation. 

"And that's about it as far as the set up goes. Now, there are a lot of things different here from Japanese schools, and I'm not certain how smart you are, so I'd be happy to explain in more detail. Would you like to take notes so you don't forget?" 

Akira put a hand to his heart, the tension seeming to have lessened now that they were outside and away from all the school faculty. He grimaced and replied, "Oh my poor heart… just because I didn't think I'd run into you here doesn't make me _that_ stupid." 

"I'm also close friends with the daycare woman," Goro supplied helpfully. 

Akira actually fell to his knees, doubling over like he'd been shot by an arrow, "God… I am a fucking idiot. Please, please don't ruin my new life before I even settle in." 

"I'd have every reason to, you know."

Akira nodded, not looking up. "I know." 

"I won't," Goro huffed, "but you're on thin ice."

Akira looked up at him with a big smile. "Are you doing this because you're actually a really nice person and don’t want my kids to be punished for something I did?" 

Goro smirked. "It's because tormenting you will be funny." 

Akira clutched his heart again, dramatically throwing his head back. "You wound me…" 

Goro rolled his eyes as the other man got to his feet, dusting the gravel off of his jeans. He was about to tell Akira he should be going, but the other man spoke first. "I wouldn't mind going over what to expect for my girls though. You know, since you did volunteer to help and all." 

Goro crossed his arms. "You really think I'm helping you after the planetarium?" 

"I'll buy us breakfast," the other offered. 

Goro hesitated, did he really want to encourage this? "... With your own money?" 

Akira laughed awkwardly, tugging on his bangs. "Yes, uh, yeah, obviously." 

Goro sighed heavily, as if he couldn't believe himself, and motioned for Akira to follow him. “I don’t like to make a habit of getting in the cars of people who robbed me, so I’m driving.”  
  
Akira rubbed the back of his neck. “Saying it was only attempted doesn’t make it any better, does it?”   
  
“No,” Goro replied flatly. “And I’m considering this payment for nearly ruining my son’s day. We’re buying something for him too, and you’re paying for that as well.”   
  
“Bossy,” Akira grumbled, getting into the passenger’s side as Goro unlocked the car.   
  
Goro just hummed smugly and began driving. He did his best to just say nothing on the ride to the nearest decent breakfast place, but this man was just _determined_ to have a conversation. It was pretty annoying. He was willing to actually do the job he’d volunteered for since Akira was basically paying him, but did that mean he wanted to talk to this asshole? No. It fucking didn’t.   
  
“This is a nice car,” Akira was saying, messing with things like a damn child. He opened the glove compartment and Goro reached over, snapping it closed.

“So, you some kinda salaryman?” Akira reached up and started fiddling with the shooting star charm hanging from Goro’s rear view mirror, Goro smacked his hand.  
  
“Maybe a lawyer or something? You look like you enjoy the suffering of others,” Akira said, twisting around in his seat and grabbing a soft textured book from the seat pocket.   
  
Goro took it from him and tossed it into the back seat. Akira began patting his legs in a sort of shaky staccato, “... Finding work in America can be hard, huh? I have a couple part time jobs right now.”   
  
Goro let out a short sigh. This man wasn’t going to give up, was he? And maybe he wasn’t just trying to be annoying after all, considering how uneasy he looked. Goro tsked and reached over, opening the coin compartment by the steering wheel and producing a small cube covered in little plastic gears and buttons. He tossed it to Akira.   
  
The man caught it and turned it over in his hands, fiddling with the little joystick on top. He was quiet for a minute before saying, “... Thanks.”   
  
Goro let out a small huff. “I’m not heartless. You looked like you were going to have a panic attack.”   
  
Akira laughed awkwardly, playing around with the buttons on the little cube. He took a small breath, a slight tremble to his voice when he spoke again. “I guess today’s been a little overwhelming. I’m worried about my girls too. They’re tough, but it’s still a whole new country, new rules, and people who might judge them on appearances alone.”   
  
Goro’s brow furrowed, irritated that he was starting to sympathize with this asshole. It had been a terrible first impression, and Goro doubted he’d ever stop thinking of this as the dickhead who almost robbed him, but...he _did_ understand where Akira was coming from.   
  
“Your children are demons. I’m certain they’ll be fine,” Goro ended up saying.   
  
Akira snorted, “Wow, you’re so reassuring.”   
  
“I wasn’t trying to be,” Goro retorted.   
  
He pulled into the parking lot of a local cafe and got out. “Come on then, I’ll go over what you need to know, which parents deserve a broken nose, all that.”   
  
Akira shut the car door behind him and looked up at the building, a small, tan brick cafe with a green awning that was barely holding on by two threads and a prayer. He frowned, still messing with the little cube as he looked back to Goro. “This is where you decided to go? I’m surprised.”   
  
“Why? Because it looks a little run down?” Goro asked. “It’s close to the school, so it’s just easier to stop here usually. And, despite the exterior, they do have decent food.”   
  
Akira shrugged. “You just seem like the kind of guy to be picky about that sort of thing.”   
  
Goro looked at him questioningly, and Akira elaborated, “You know, like, the type who sends food back if it’s not perfect, or tells people off for poor parking jobs or something.”   
  
Goro crossed his arms as Akira opened the door for him. “I don’t see how reprimanding someone for taking up TWO parking spots is even slightly comparable to berating waitstaff.”   
  
Akira laughed as he followed him in. “So you _are_ like that!”   
  
The two were shown to a table and handed menus. Akira looked his over, and Goro just watched him for a minute. He was rolling the fidget toy around in his right hand, eyes hidden behind glasses that Goro could swear he wasn’t wearing when they initially met.   
  
“They make good fish here,” Goro offered. He hesitated, something had been on his mind since he first walked into that meeting room; he just had to bring it up. “Why are you wearing glasses?”   
  
Akira looked up, startled, “Wh-what? Because I wear glasses..? What kind of question is that?”   
  
Goro shook his head, “You weren’t wearing them the other day, when you peeled out in your dinky little Toyota.”   
  
Akira flushed, looking back down at the menu. He was flicking the switch on one side of the cube rapidly, “... It’s kinda stupid, I’d rather not say.”   
  
“It’s not like it matters that much,” Goro sighed, looking down at his own menu. “So, what do you want to know about first? I’d rather not spend all day here.”   
  
The other man, seemingly just relieved about the subject change, said, “Oh yeah, a few people from your PTA gave me a rule packet already, but I was wondering exactly how the school days go? I think my friend over here told me there’s no Saturday school, but I want to make sure I know what to expect.”   
  
After that, they ordered some breakfast, and Goro went over everything Akira might need to know about the school. After showing him the school website and telling him which teachers Goro personally hoped rotted in hell, they ended up just talking about their kids.   
  
“At least you picked the only good daycare in the city,” Goro was saying. He took a sip of his coffee and continued, “Ann is wonderful with all sorts of children, and one of the few people I’d call dependable.”

"Why do I get the feeling that's your version of high praise?" Akira chuckled. 

Goro set his cup down gingerly. "I won't apologize for my standards."

"Oh I wouldn't want you to," Akira hummed, a thin smile tugging at his lips.  
  
Goro rolled his eyes, unsure what the hell this man’s deal was. He felt like he should be annoyed by this raven haired mess, or at least uninterested, but something about him just… really held Goro’s attention.   
  
When the two finished, Akira paid just like he promised, even for the extra Goro got to go for Jose, and they carried on talking as they headed out.   
  
“You sure have a lot of space-y stuff,” Akira noted as they climbed back in the car. “Are you or your spouse really into astrology or something..?”   
  
Goro exhaled through his nose. “That wasn’t as subtle as you think. My son is the one into astrology. I like to encourage his interests the best I can.”   
  
Akira laughed softly, reaching up and poking the star charm hanging from the rear view mirror. “Alright, lemme be even less subtle then. Are you single?”   
  
Goro focused hard on starting his car, very pointedly ignoring the blush creeping up his skin. Was this moron serious?   
  
“Even if I was-” Goro started.   
  
“-so you are,” Akira grinned.   
  
“-what makes you think you’re up to my standards?” Goro finished, throwing his car in reverse so hard it made Akira’s head smack against the headrest of his seat.   
  
Goro smiled a bit, satisfied, and he could see Akira rubbing the back of his head out of the corner of his eye.   
  
“Yeah yeah, you’re so uppity with a taste for refined wine and fancy men or whatever,” Akira said, “I think anyone who meets all your ‘standards’ would just bore you out of your skull.”   
  
“And you believe you wouldn’t?” Goro retorted.   
  
“You can’t tell me getting your wallet snatched was boring,” the unbelievable jackass _winked._   
  
Goro had nothing to say to that. His mind wandered to what Ann had said, the way he had almost jumped at the chance to show this man around, the fact he’d even talked with him longer than he ever intended… no, that was fucking preposterous. He wouldn’t entertain such ridiculous thoughts.   
  
As they rolled back into the school parking lot, Goro said, “Alright, I think I’m tired of you now. Get out.”   
  
Akira laughed, rapping on the window. “You got it, I’ll just tuck and roll, yeah?”   
  
Goro smirked, slowing his vehicle to a crawl, but not fully stopping. He leaned quickly across Akira, throwing the passenger door open and giving him a hearty shove. Luckily, or unluckily for Akira, the raven haired man hadn’t put his seat belt back on. There was a sharp squawk and a satisfying _thud_ as Akira hit the pavement. Goro just kept going. 

He yanked the door back closed and glanced to his rear view, seeing a very dazed man sitting up, broken glasses falling off of his face. Goro grinned a bit, fingers thrumming against the wheel as he sped up, satisfied with his incredibly petty and likely over the top payback.   
  
\---   
  
Back at home, Goro sat in his office, cup of tea in hand. He stared flatly at a blank word document, wishing he could will words onto the page. 

His latest project, with a looming deadline and static noise for a plot, had been staring him in the face for the past month. His agent was lenient about deadlines, considering the success his other books had achieved, but she wasn't a well of endless patience. 

His fingers hovered over the keys, typing a sentence, erasing it, re-typing, re-wording, and repeat. He banged his head against the keys, hoping that might somehow produce something of value. It seemed to work for hacks like E. L. James.

Goro ruffled his hands up in his hair and let out a huff. He had always been an author for a living. On paper, anyway. The truth was that his gripping thriller mystery novels were borne from experience. His past in Japan, a past he didn't care to dwell on for too long, had been the fuel for what he generously called 'fiction'. It had gained him a reputation as an engaging, thought provoking writer who was often asked how he made such harrowing tales feel so immersive. 

Unfortunately for him, he'd run out of stories to tell. Well, not so much 'run out'. He had just written so much that he'd processed through all the emotional turmoil he could. Writing these things were no longer cathartic, they were damaging. He wasn't proud of it, or any of his past, but it had meant a secure paycheck when he wouldn't be able to get any other job without risking his past being exposed. 

There were some days he'd feel so guilty for profiting off atrocities he'd committed as a teenager that he'd just end up spending most of the day curled in a ball under his desk. 

Ann was the only person he had trusted with any of this, and all she knew was that his books were _loosely_ based on reality. He knew she read them, she had suggested therapy shortly after reading his first published book. He remembered telling her he was fine, that writing these books was already like therapy to him. And it was true, or it had been. 

Lately, however, since the end of his last book nearly half a year ago, he hadn't been able to write without panic and shame creeping in. He didn't know what had changed, but something had. He couldn't tell his agent the reasons he was struggling, of course, she would call the fucking cops. So unless he could magically pull a book out of his ass that would please his agent, publisher, and meet his own high standards, he was stuck. 

Goro wasn't even sure at what point he'd ended up under his desk today, but there he was. Grumbling to himself, knees to his chest, thankful school was in session. Jose had only ever walked in on him like this once, but that was more than enough. His son didn't need to see him in any kind of unstable state, Goro knew from experience how hard that was on kids. 

So he reserved writing for school hours and after bedtime. 

Goro pulled himself together after… some amount of time. He climbed up into his seat and rested his chin in his palm, tired eyes scanning the screen. He looked over all the words he'd managed to write. Roughly three pages of the same sentence again and again. _'I am a bad person'_. He didn't recall typing it. He never did. 

He boredly hit delete file and got up, checking the time on his phone. Somehow, nearly half the day had gone, and it was already almost two in the afternoon. Goro sighed heavily, he didn't usually miss so much time in one day. It had happened before, but it was somewhat rare. He wondered if he was just more stressed than usual today. 

He checked his texts, hoping he hadn't messaged anyone while he was out of it. Just a harmless text to Sumire saying the new parent was a nuisance and that she shouldn't interact with him. It was written in a somewhat more abrasive tone than how he usually spoke, another thing he was admittedly a bit too used to. He once again chalked it up to some sort of stress blackout and typed out a new message.   
  
[Goro]11:36 AM   
Piece of shit. He’s disgusting. I won’t fucking deal with this, and I won’t let you either. He can’t be trusted and I don’t like how things are going, don’t be blinded by your fucking naïveté.

[Goro] 1:56 PM 

Good afternoon, Sumire san. Please disregard my previous message, Akira is not THAT bad. I still hate him, but I suppose you might actually get along. He's a complete moron, and I know handling idiots is a specialty of yours. 

[Sumi] 1:57 PM

Oh, you're back! Jeez, did you just come back, Goro san? 

[Goro] 1:57 PM

What the hell is that supposed to mean? 

[Sumi] 1:59 PM

Oh uhm! Don't worry about it? I guess I'm being a bit stupid today too haha

[Goro] 2:00 PM

Sometimes I feel like you hide things from me. Whatever. How are the demon man's spawn? Have you had to endure them yet? 

[Sumi] 2:00 PM

Hehe, they aren't so bad! They're super unstructured and don't like to listen, but if you treat them like little adults, they respect you more! I think they aren't bad kids, and they certainly aren't irredeemable little bugs!

[Goro] 2:03 PM

I never said they were. Gremlins, certainly. Hell creatures, also yes. But I'd never say a child is irredeemable even if I don't like them. Where did you get that sentiment? 

[Sumi] 2:07 PM

So hey, are you free for lunch? A little birdie told me you probably haven't eaten since breakfast! 

Goro tsked, she always did that. He didn’t get that ditzy woman. He respected her endless energy and unbounding care for her students, but he would never come close to understanding her. The way she'd stare at him like a deer in the headlights at times, that weird thing she did where she'd tell him something as though _he_ had said it first, and then her random topic jumping. She often left questions unanswered, he'd given up trying to solve her. 

He sighed and replied, agreeing to meet her for lunch. It was true he hadn’t eaten since his outing with Akira. Akira… had that even been today? Time felt like it was running circles around him sometimes.  
  
After about ten minutes, Goro was on his way back out. It was nearly two thirty by the time he caught up with Sumire, which meant about half an hour to eat and talk before school let out. She was waiting outside the cafe, a bright smile on her face and a tiny box in her hands.   
  
“You look awfully chipper for someone who just spent all day with screaming children,” Goro greeted, casually slipping into Japanese.   
  
“They’re all so full of spirit!” Sumire replied with a grin. 

The two had a habit of speaking in Japanese when it was just them, finding it more comfortable. And besides, Goro felt like not as many people could eavesdrop if they weren’t speaking English. The area had a pretty high population of Asain residents, especially Japanese, but that was still far outweighed by native English speakers, so the odds of someone listening in were a lot lower this way.  
  
“You call it spirit, I call it malicious wrath,” Goro retorted. “What did you order?”   
  
He knew Sumire by now, he knew that she didn’t trust him to order himself a half decent meal. She always took it upon herself to order something for him before he showed up, just to make sure he ate. It was annoying.   
  
“Quite a lot for myself,” she laughed, opening the door and motioning him in, “But for you? The grilled sea bass seemed like a good choice! I also got us boba.”   
  
“You know I don’t care for sweets,” Goro replied simply, already opening his wallet to repay her for her unneeded generosity.   
  
“It’s only been two years,” Sumire snickered, like him doubting her was just so funny, “of _course_ I know that, Goro san. I got you a lavender one, try it! It’s more bitter than sweet. Just like you!”   
  
“Hmph,” Goro scoffed, pressing fifty dollars into her hand before she could try and count it or refuse. “You need to stop going out of your way for me, it’s not necessary.”   
  
Sumire looked down at the money, “This is… way too much! The food was barely even twenty, I don’t-”   
  
“Don’t argue,” Goro chided, taking a seat at the table. “I have money to spare, you shouldn’t be throwing yours around on that pathetic teacher’s salary.” He raised an accusatory eyebrow. “And I see that box you’re failing to hide. Another gift for Jose?”   
  
Sumire flushed pink, taking her seat quickly, “... You’re too good. I’m gonna surprise you one of these days!” She reluctantly pocketed the money and slid Goro the box. “... And I’m only taking the money because you’ll get mad if I don’t.”   
  
Goro nodded, satisfied with that, and took the box. He opened it up and smiled a bit. Sumire had a bad habit of buying presents for all her favorite students, and while it was incredibly irresponsible, he couldn’t help but appreciate the little trinkets she always found for Jose. This time it was a snap bracelet covered in daffodils, his favorite flower.   
  
“Thank you, he’ll love this,” Goro tucked it away, “How do you keep track of all those children’s likes and wants? It’s impressive.”   
  
Sumire visibly brightened, sitting up straighter, “I’m so glad you think so! And you know? Maybe it’s a little rude of me, but I kind of only memorize things my favorite students like. Everyone else gets little allergen free candy bags.”   
  
Goro snorted, “You’re absurd.”   
  
“Despite what you might think, none of them are bad kids, you know,” Sumire replied, “We were all in their position once, right? I was certainly no perfect angel as a child, so I cut them some slack, you know?”   
  
Goro actually laughed at that, shoulders shaking as he covered his mouth. “S-you… I cannot fathom you ever being anything _besides_ that perfect little angel child. Come now, what’s the worst thing you ever did as a child? Stole your sister’s doll? Took a few dollars from your parents?”   
  
Sumire gasped, “Oh never! I would never steal-” she tsked and crossed her arms. “Alright, touché. We can’t all be edgy and badass like you, mister ‘I lit a garden on fire’.”   
  
Goro snrked again, “What? I never did that.” He paused, looking down at the table, brow furrowing, “did I..? Ugh. Half of my childhood is a blur, if I told you that at some point, it’s probably not wrong.”   
  
Sumire laughed nervously, suddenly looking a little guilty. That confused Goro even further. But before he could ask, their orders were brought to the table.   
  
Sumire thanked the waiter before proceeding to stuff an entire bread slice in her mouth. Goro shook his head, thanked the waiter as well, and proceeded to pick at his fish without actually eating any. Sumire was quick to change the topic after their food arrived, and began telling Goro all about Akira’s twins, how they behaved and got along with others.   
  
“-and you’re gonna hate this,” Sumire said, smiling sympathetically, “But… they actually get along pretty well with Jose. They apologized to him about some kind of incident at a planetarium? And anyway, Jose is just so sweet, of course he forgave them. He made the calmer one, Justine, a flower crown during recess. You may end up having to pretend you like them.”   
  
Goro sighed and shook his head, “I already pretend with Suki, what’s a couple more? So long as I won’t be forced to endure too many more extended outings with their father.”   
  
Sumire went quiet again, uncharacteristically picking at her own food. Goro set his fork down, frowning, “something on your mind?”   
  
Sumire shook her head, “It’s nothing! I just… think maybe you should give him a chance. I mean, he’s new, he doesn’t have many friends, I already told him he could come to my birthday party this weekend, and you both actually have a lot in common.”   
  
“I’m sorry, _what_ was that about inviting the stranger to your birthday?” Goro asked.   
  
Sumire laughed nervously, “He doesn’t have like any friends, Goro san! I’m just being neighborly is all! Besides, Ann and a few others will be there too, it’s not like you’ll be stuck talking to him!”   
  
Goro sighed heavily, “One day, your naïveté is going to get you stabbed.”   
  
“I’m not worried,” Sumire grinned at him. “With friends like you to look out for me, I know I’ll be okay.”   
  
Goro smiled a bit, looking back down at his plate. Sumire was too good for him; he’d never understand why she chose to spend time with him.   
  
\---   
  
Jose bolted up to Goro at full speed, looking as happy as could be, arms thrown out wide for a hug. Goro knelt down, catching his boy and lifting him up into a snuggle. He hugged him tight and hummed happily. “You look so happy, did you have a good day?” he asked.   
  
Jose hugged Goro’s neck and nuzzled his little face into his shoulder, “Mhm! I made two new friends! It’s those girls who robbed you, but they said sorry, and they’re really fun!”   
  
Goro laughed a little, the sentiment of his eight year old so casually saying how his new friends were little thieves was just kind of hilarious. “Oh? Well, perhaps they learned their lesson. That’s good.”   
  
He didn’t really think they had. But he wasn’t about to teach Jose to be a distrustful asshole like he himself was. And speaking of being a distrustful asshole, a certain raven haired man was just walking by, likely waiting on his own children.   
  
Goro turned slightly away from him, but his precious angel child didn’t understand Goro’s social cues. Jose waved a little hand and called out, “Hey hey! You’re the guy who upset Papa! Justine and Caroline said sorry, so we’re friends now!”   
  
Goro closed his eyes and counted to ten. He heard the baritone of the raven, a quiet ‘oh?’ followed by steadily approaching footsteps. Goro counted to twenty.   
  
“Well I’m glad you all made up,” Akira said, “Your dad and I made up too, so everybody’s friends now. Isn’t that right, Goro?”   
  
Goro let out a sharp breath and set Jose back down. He turned to face Akira fully, still holding one of Jose’s hands. “ _Yes._ I’d say I got eve-made up with you properly.”   
  
Akira’s friendly smile meant nothing to Goro. It was the mischievous twinkle in his eyes behind those lenses that worried him. Akira shoved his hands in his pockets. “I think so too. Hey, here’s an idea-”   
  
Goro recoiled on instinct when Akira’s hand snapped out. The other man was holding a slip of paper, and Goro quickly relaxed, snatching it from him. It had his fucking phone number on it.   
  
“Since we’re all friends now,” Akria smirked, “let’s exchange numbers, and we can plan to get the kids together soon.”   
  
Goro grit his teeth. Dammit, why did he have to be such a good father? He couldn’t even cuss this asshole out in front of Jose. He was about to politely decline instead, but then Jose let out the sweetest little gasp.   
  
“Papa! Can we?! We barely see Suki anymore ‘cause she’s so busy with music and everything, I’d like to play with more friends again!” Jose’s big, twinkling eyes were Goro’s weak point.   
  
He swore under his breath in Japanese, something Akira seemed to find _very_ amusing, and pulled out his phone. He programmed Akira’s number in and sent him a text. “There. We’ve now exchanged numbers. I’ll get back to you.”   
  
Akira grinned wider. “Perfect.”

Akira’s phone buzzed, and Goro watched with the tiniest hint of petty satisfaction as the raven looked down at it. Goro couldn’t see his eyes well, but the way his mouth opened slightly was enough for him. He looked up, and then quickly shoved his phone away as his own children came running up.  
  
The braid girl-Justine, walked calmly up and stopped in front of her father, nodding quietly. The other-Caroline, charged full force and jumped up, headbutting Akira straight in the gut. Akira grunted and coughed, setting a hand on Caroline’s head.   
  
“Sweetie, not so rough, okay?”   
  
Caroline kicked some dirt at him. “Weak,” she replied.   
  
“Father,” Justine greeted, then she turned and looked at Jose. “Your gift was kind. I will find you a good rock.”   
  
Jose grinned, clapping his free hand against the one Goro was still holding. Goro raised an eyebrow, watching as Akira attempted, kind of pathetically, to wrangle his children. Caroline wouldn’t stop taking swings at him, seemingly just because she found it fun, and Justine started just berating him in this very deadpan manner. Goro was honestly kind of shocked. Akira seemed like such a firecracker, and he was just going to let his children walk all over him like this?   
  
“Father, we decided we want ice cream today after dinner,” Justine was saying as the three walked away, Akira still lightly batting Caroline’s little fists away.   
  
Caroline grabbed onto Akira’s arm and climbed halfway up it, clinging onto him tightly, “Yeah! And you gotta read to us tonight! You’re gone too much!”   
  
Goro didn’t hear any further replies, just watched as Akira swung the feral child up onto his shoulders and then got his hand batted away when he tried to take Justine’s hand. Akira didn’t seem like a pushover at all, so this was extra disgusting. He was just some kind of spineless idiot who was going to end up ruining his children’s lives. Pathetic.   
  
Jose looked up at Goro. “They aren’t very nice to their dad, are they?”   
  
Goro shook his head, “No. They don’t respect him. They must not have been raised well.”   
  
“They’re nice in school,” Jose said, “I dunno, maybe their dad just doesn’t wanna hurt their feelings? Sometimes I let people be mean ‘cause I think they dunno better, and I don’t want to be mean back.”   
  
Goro nodded for a second, then paused, looking down at him. “... Who was mean to you?”   
  
Jose’s eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. “Nobody! It was marmephoricant!”   
  
Goro started walking back to his car, “Metaphorical?”   
  
“Uh huh! That!” Jose squeezed Goro’s hand harder. “... Hey, Papa… I think you should forgive Caroline and Justine. What they did was wrong, but… they really aren’t bad guys.”   
  
Goro sighed softly, “They’re your age, that means they’re going to make a lot of mistakes and learn from them. I won’t hold it against them, alright? But I won’t tolerate them taking anything from our house.”   
  
Jose nodded, smiling up at him. “Mhm! They’re so cool too, they’re super tough. They said their dad taught them how to fight back if anybody tried to hurt them. They showed me how to punch good!”   
  
Goro helped Jose into the car, “That’s nice. Don’t go punching random people though, alright?”   
  
“I won’t! Only jerks and pedos,” Jose nodded matter of factly. “That’s what Caroline said I should do.”   
  
Goro gave him a flat look, his brain buffering for a moment as he tried to think of what the fuck to even say to that. Eventually he gave up, and just replied, “Fair enough.”   
  
He’d always told Jose to be careful of strangers, which wasn’t hard when the boy was terrified of most adults. But those girls seemed strangely too knowledgeable. Where did an eight year old learn what a pedophile was called? What kind of past did Akira have that might’ve led to a need for his children to be so alert? Where was the girls’ mother..?

Goro shook his head, he could ask Akira about all this another time-no, wait, he didn't care about the other _that_ much. He wasn't even sure why he was dwelling on it. As long as Jose didn't learn any bad lessons from those girls, he couldn't care less.

When they got home, Goro put together a snack and sat down to do a puzzle with Jose. His phone went off in his pocket, and he glanced at it while Jose was busy pouring all the puzzle pieces onto the polished floor. Ah, Akira had replied to his earlier greeting.

[Goro] 3:15 PM:

Your face when I pushed you out of my car was pure serotonin. I hope your ass got bruised from the fall. <3

[Akira] 4:35 PM:

holy fuck youre actually crazy

[Goro] 4:37 PM:

Yes, all the other parents seem to agree on that consensus. 

[Akira] 4:38 PM:

hot

[Akira] 4:38 PM:

EARLY SEND I MEAN UM

[Akira] 4:38 PM:

hot out today right? like way too warm haha

[Goro] 4:41 PM:

It's February.

[Akira] 4:43 PM:

dont judge me

[Goro] 4:47 PM:

Oh it is far too late for that, you absolute train wreck. I would never dream of saying so in front of my son, but he can't see my messages, so I feel comfortable saying so here. You are, quite honestly, the most offensively moronic person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. And if you so much as breathe in my general direction at Sumire san's birthday party this weekend, I will flay you alive.

[Akira] 4:48 PM:

whats your ring size

Goro scoffed, shoving his phone back in his pocket and turning his attention to the puzzle, which Jose had already begun sorting into neat little color-coded piles. He looked up at Goro, a fragment of a shooting star piece clutched in his little hand, "Papa, who was that? You looked like you were having fun. Miss Ann?"

Goro blinked, "Having fun..? No, it was just someone I don't care for much."

Jose made a strange face, a disbelieving smile with scrunched up little eyebrows, "Okay. You were smiling though, and you even laughed a little."

Goro glanced down at his phone, then back to the puzzle. "... Funny. Well, don't mind that. Let's just focus on our puzzle. This is the meteor shower one, right?"

Jose nodded, setting another white piece aside. "Uh huh. Papa, can we get the glue for this one?"

"Oh? Ready to hang it on your wall already?" Goro questioned. He began picking out all the edge pieces he found, mindful that he kept them color coordinated as he did so.

Jose nodded, "I want to sign it and give it to Miss Yoshizawa for her birthday. It's this week, right?"

Goro nodded, "It is. That's very thoughtful of you. Are you excited about the party on Saturday?"

Jose started putting pieces together, barely hesitating as he stuck random middle pieces together like he already knew they fit, "Mhm. Do I get to have cake?"

"I'll bring you some from home. You know you can't eat too much sugar, it makes you panic," Goro gently reminded him.  
  
Jose sighed sadly, "I know… but... there's gonna be other kids there, and they're all gonna get cake. It's not fair."

Goro reached out, petting Jose's head, "I know, it isn't fair. But you'll only have fun if you aren't panicked you know. Not getting to eat the same thing as the other kids sucks, but you'll have a much nicer time if you feel okay."

Jose whined softly, nudging his head against Goro's hand, "Yeah, I know... is... is it okay if I'm a little sad though?"

Goro sighed softly, reaching across the floor and picking Jose up. He settled him in his lap and wrapped his arms loosely around him. The poor boy was still so afraid to let his negative emotions show. Goro knew why, he used to be the same way, but it didn't stop him from wishing he could track down all the people who made Jose feel this way and beat them with a brick.

"Of course it's okay to be sad. It's very unfair," Goro said gently, petting his head, "You can even be mad at me if you want, I won't tell you not to be. I have to make sure you don't get hurt, even if it makes you unhappy, but it's okay to be unhappy."

Jose nuzzled into Goro's collar, tiny fists curling into the material of his shirt, "'m not mad at you, Papa. Just sad."

Goro rubbed his back gently, "That's okay, you can be sad. And if anyone tries to make fun of you on Saturday, just tell me. I'll take care of it."

Jose nodded, "thank you Papa. And um… it's okay for you to be sad too, you know."

Goro blinked, where did that come from? "Huh? I...y-yeah, yes. I know that, you don't need to worry about me, alright?"

Jose nodded again, "Okay. Just remember 's all. Do you wanna finish the puzzle now?"

Goro set Jose back down, "That sounds good. You're so fast, I think you might finish the inside before I even finish the frame."

\---

The remainder of the week rolled by as usual. Jose continued doing fine in school, growing closer with those twins, despite Goro's reservations. It wasn't like he was unhappy Jose had new friends, the opposite really. He was just slightly worried about what kind of children they were, and how spineless their father seemed when it came to raising them. 

Goro spent every morning in his study, messaging Sumire or Ann to catch up, and then staring at his monitor until he blacked out. He woke up every afternoon dazed and with a slight headache. There were always one or two stray texts he didn't remember sending, and every great once in a while, food he had made halfway decently and didn't recall eating. He supposed at least that meant he was eating a total of once a day, which was better than he sometimes managed.

Goro felt like he was really losing it; he felt less okay than he had in years. He wasn't so much worried about his own well being as he was worried about Jose, though. How was he supposed to be a good parent if he couldn't even keep himself together? It wasn't like he was ever very mentally _healthy,_ but it had never been bad enough that he worried about his ability to take care of his child.   
  
He’d worked so hard to get mentally stable enough to feel like he could take on a child, and the last few months, he’d been starting to worry that he was going to decline again and end up traumatizing Jose somehow. When he woke up Saturday morning, dried tear tracks on his face and a starry blanket draped over his shoulders, he instantly felt a pang of guilt.

He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring his pounding headache and hurrying to clean up his face a bit before checking on Jose. The boy was sound asleep, his favorite bee plushie hugged to his chest. Goro walked in quietly, pushing Jose's hair up off his forehead, he could see just the faintest line of dried tears on his sweet face. Goro drew his hand back when he realized it was shaking. 

He quickly left the room, not wanting to risk waking Jose, and walked all the way out to his back deck before just sitting on the ground and crying. He'd made his baby worry, he was a terrible parent, he couldn't do this, he was just going to ruin his life-

"Come on, get it together," He whispered, rubbing harshly at his face, "you aren't your mother. You aren't your father. It's okay, it'll be fine. You just need to pull yourself together."

Goro sat in silence for a few minutes, slowly steadying his breathing. He stared absently at some bugs on the deck. He was particularly invested in a beetle burrowing its way into a patch of half frozen dirt. His mind felt like static, and he was zoned out for a good few minutes, just trying to keep his thoughts from spiraling. 

He jumped nearly a foot when his phone went off in his pocket. The ringing was so sudden, it startled him back to the present. He put a hand to his chest as he answered, "Ugh. Hello?" 

"Hey! Did you wanna carpool to Sumi's party today? I can be there in like, twenty minutes!" Ann's bubbly voice greeted. 

Goro blinked. Sumire's party. Today was Saturday. The week felt too short sometimes. He cleared his throat and stood, dusting himself off. "Ah, yes, I'd like that just fine. I'll pay for half the gas." 

"... did you forget what day it was again?" 

"No! Don't be ridiculous!" Goro snapped. 

"Uh huh. Get dressed, and make sure Jose is up and has breakfast!" 

"I wouldn't forget to feed my own child," Goro grumbled, sliding the glass door closed behind him as he headed back in. 

"I know, but you forget to feed yourself pretty often. Make sure YOU eat too, got it?" Ann scolded lightly. 

Goro gave a half hearted chuckle. "Yes ma'am. I'll see you in twenty." 

He hung up before Ann could say anything else. He debated telling her what was wrong, asking for her advice, but he shouldn't. Not today at least. It could wait until after Sumire's party. He was _not_ about to ruin her day by selfishly having a mental breakdown. 

He got dressed, brushed his hair, and headed back to Jose's room. He hesitated at the door. What if Jose was still sad when he woke up? What if he hated Goro now? What if he had done or said something to upset him the previous night? He didn't remember Jose coming in to give him that blanket, it was possible. 

He closed his eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. Ann would know something was wrong if Goro hadn't managed to get Jose up by the time she got here. It was fine, he'd just distract Jose with all the exciting things happening today and it'd be fine. 

He walked back in and knelt beside the bed, very gently stroking his arm, knowing it could be too upsetting if he was jostled awake all at once. "Jose, time to get up," He said quietly, "come on sweetheart, Sumire's party is today, aren't you excited?" 

Jose slowly blinked his eyes open, making a soft sound. He looked grumpy, very typical for first thing in the morning, and mumbled, "huh..? Sleep…"

"No more sleep, come now, Miss Ann is coming over too. Don't you want to get up and show her the lovely present we made for Sumire?" Goro asked. 

Jose yawned and very slowly sat up. "Mmhh… Uh huh. Wanna…" he hugged his bee to his chest harder, looking Goro right in the eyes. It unsettled him a little. 

"Papa," Jose mumbled. His face scrunched up in that signature way again. He looked like his gears were turning, like he had something he really wanted to say, but didn't know how. His eyes closed tight and he tipped his head, giving a big, sunny grin. "Let's have fun today!" 

Goro smiled softly, patting his head gently before walking back to the door, “I can make some breakfast, sound good?”  
  
Jose was sitting on the edge of his bed now, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Mm, I wanna make it. I don’t want toast and burnt eggs again.”   
  
Goro sighed, rubbing the back of his head, “I didn’t think I burned them last time…”   
  
“It’s okay Papa, you don’t have to be good at everything,” Jose assured. He definitely meant it in the sweetest way possible, but Goro couldn’t help chuckling at the unintended insult.   
  
\---   
  
When Ann showed up about twenty minutes later, Goro was in the middle of showing Jose how to properly wear an oven mitt. Ann called through the door as a warning before she walked in, Goro having left the door unlocked for her.   
  
“Good morning to my favorite boys!” she called.   
  
“Miss Ann!” Jose called back, turning and waving, the too-big oven mitt flying off his little hand. Goro tsked, looking at it sadly. These floors weren’t clean enough for him to consider just picking it back up and using it anyway.   
  
Ann laughed, walking into the kitchen. “Ooh, something smells good. So you decided to let Jose cook, then?”   
  
Goro flushed pink, “There’s no need to be rude.”   
  
Jose went to pick up the skillet, but Goro caught his hand, “Ah! Cloth.”   
  
Jose nodded, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around the handle with intense determination. “Papa said I should use more towels when I cook. I think it’s fine though, I only got burnt like twice before. Look Miss Ann! Omelete!”   
  
The child proudly lifted up the pan, holding it surprisingly steady as he showed off his creation to Ann. The egg in the pan had been folded over a mix of peppers and cheese, and looked like actual decent, non burnt or fucked up food. Jose was extremely talented at cooking, that or Goro’s own incompetence with it made him seem more impressive, but still.   
  
“Ooh, Jose, you’re getting SO good at that. Maybe you can teach your dad a thing or two, huh?”   
  
Jose shook his head, setting the pan back down before making an over the top expression that only a child could muster. He shrugged exaggeratedly and said, “I’m afraid he’s hopeless.”   
  
Goro actually laughed out loud at that, snorting behind his hand. Ann giggled too, shaking her head in disbelief, “You gonna talk about your dad like that? So rude!”   
  
“He’s only being honest, just like I taught him,” Goro snickered, “That’s my boy.” He ruffled Jose’s hair, and the boy stuck his tongue out before joining in with all the giggling.   
  
The entire mood felt lighter now, Goro was thankful he could push all his worries to the back of his mind for a bit longer and just have fun with his family. Ann took over helping Jose cook, and the three all ate before heading back out together. Goro managed about half of his food, knowing both of the others would worry if he didn’t eat, but it still didn’t set well. Something else that was a problem for his future self, it was fine.

Ann drove them to Sumire’s house, a nice one story with a big yard that was the envy of all her neighbors. Sumire didn’t make all that much on her salary, but as a personal trainer on the side she pulled in enough to manage. And any time Goro saw her full half acre of a yard, he just thought of the time he’d watched her sprint-mow it with a push mower. The woman was a beast.   
  
Today, however, the yard was decorated with long tables covered end to end in food, a grill was set up near the tables, and a bounce house was even set up, likely for all the children that were running around. So many of Sumire’s friends had children, it was just like her to make sure they wouldn’t be bored out of their skulls.   
  
Ann gasped, clasping her hands together as she looked around, “Oh my gosh, Sumi throws the BEST parties!”   
  
“She shouldn’t be wasting her money on things like this…” Goro mumbled, “if she keeps trying to accommodate everyone, she’s going to go broke.”   
  
“Lighten up! Can’t you just have fun for once in your life?” Ann snickered, elbowing him.   
  
Before Goro could answer, Jose ran past him at full speed, wrapped present clutched in his hands as he made a bee line for Sumire. The birthday girl spotted him in no time, her face bursting with such a sunny grin that Goro felt he needed sunglasses to look directly at her. He trailed after his son, offering a tired, but genuine, smile.   
  
Sumire crouched down, arms open for Jose to fling himself into. He squealed happily, “Miss Yoshizawa! We brought you a gift! How old are you now? Birthdays are so exciting!”   
  
Sumire laughed, hoisting him up, “I see that! Did you and your dad pick this out for me? How thoughtful!”   
  
He squealed louder as she hoisted him high up over her head, still grinning. “I am thirty three today! Super old, right?”   
  
Jose gasped, gripping her arms tightly, “Two threes? That’s super lucky! You’re double lucky this year!”   
  
Goro gave a short wave, “Happy birthday, Sumire san. Goodness, how many people do you know..?”   
  
Sumire laughed a bit as she set Jose back down, “Oh yeah, my clients at the gym just all really like me! And a bunch of the school parents do too, so um...a lot, I guess? Oh! That’s not going to be too much for Jose, is it?”   
  
Goro shook his head, “He’ll be just fine. I have his earplugs if he gets overwhelmed. Try thinking of yourself today, why don’t you? That’s the point of celebrating a birthday, is it not?”   
  
Sumire smiled sheepishly, “Jeez, alright dad. I’ll try my best.”   
  
Goro nodded, “good. I suppose I will go ‘mingle’.”   
  
“You could at least not do physical air quotes when you say that, you know,” she huffed.   
  
Goro gave a coy smirk and shrugged. Jose handed the wrapped gift to Sumire before running off to join the nine or so other children, seeming to be in a pretty sociable mood. Though, that wasn’t unusual for him. Goro just hoped he wouldn’t try to do too much and overwhelm himself.   
  
“You know, I’m almost surprised you showed up,” a voice from nearby, Makoto, smugly approaching him. “Aren’t you enemies with half the people here?”   
  
Goro looked her up and down before saying, “I was aware Sumire san was a fan of charity, but inviting you is simply too far.”   
  
Before Makoto could manage to scrounge up a retort, her wife appeared at her side. Haru, with her huge knit sweater and piercing stare. She had on just the sweetest smile as she said, “Akechi san. Fancy seeing you at a social event. I am so delighted you’re here for Sumi chan, despite anyone else’s feelings about you.”   
  
Goro took a step back, recoiling like a vampire from sunlight. The woman was terrifying, he dared not oppose her. Those kind words were velvet wrapped daggers, and he wasn’t foolish enough to walk into them. “Indeed… I have… other people to talk to,” he managed before scurrying off like the rat he was.

Retreating to the food table provided some brief respite, but luck was clearly not on Goro's side today. He was allowed a few brief seconds of calm before feeling a tap on his shoulder. He whipped around, half expecting Haru to have chased him down just to finish him off with her sharp tongue. However, fortunately or not, it was Akira, and not Haru, who stood in front of him. 

He breathed out a sharp sound before turning to face the table again. He really didn't need to deal with this asshole today. 

Akira just tapped his arm again, with something cold and blunt. Goro glanced down, seeing the man was tapping him with the handle of a kitchen knife. He gave Akira a questioning look, and the man just offered it out. 

"You were going to flay me if I approached you, right? Better get on with it then," the cheeky bastard grinned. 

Goro looked at the knife, his brain taking a moment to process. Right, his stupid text. He scoffed and snatched the knife, setting it on the table next to him, "I wouldn't push it if I were you. How do you know I wouldn't really do it, hm?" 

Akira's smile only grew wider, "Oh, I'm sure you would."

"You're a fool." 

"I prefer 'thrillseeker'." 

"A _reckless_ fool," Goro amended. 

Akira reached past Goro, leaning right into his personal space to presumably grab something behind him. "For all your harsh words, you've never actually told me to go away, you know." 

"I feel like the undertone was quite clear," Goro retorted, leaning back just slightly as Akira leaned forward. His heart jumped, he could see the other man's long, pretty lashes up this close. It should be a crime, eyes like that belonging to such a worthless delinquent of a man. 

Akira leaned back again, drawing the flat of the knife along Goro's forearm as he did. "Oh, it was very clear," he just about _purred_ , bringing the shining silver up to his lips. 

Akira smiled against the blade, cat like and utterly charming. Goro was sure his face was red. He didn't like that, didn't like how this man made him feel, didn't like the little rush of heat along his arm and through his core when that metal grazed his arm. 

Quick as a flash, Akira spun the knife with all the skill of a mugger and tucked it away in his pocket. He twirled his bangs between two fingers and said, "Tuesday. You and your boy can come to my house, I know the girls want to hang out. And I sure wouldn't mind it." 

Goro opened and closed his mouth a few times, floundering. Did this man really just draw a blade across his bare skin and then propose a fucking play date? What kind of person… 

"Fine. After school then," Goro replied, too utterly entranced by this man's madness to refuse him. No, okay, no, he wasn't _entranced._ Akira was just uniquely fascinating. It was only natural he'd be curious enough to spend more time with him. 

Akira winked, "I look forward to it." 

Goro's upper lip curled. This man was so obnoxiously flirtatious. Goro doubted he'd be so damn smug if it was _him_ being subjected to this kind of childish teasing. It almost made Goro want to flirt back, purely out of spite. 

\---

The next couple hours went by fairly normally. Goro stuck close to Ann or Sumire, talking to them or wandering off on his own to take breaks from the overwhelming number of people. He checked in on Jose frequently, but the outgoing boy seemed to be doing well with all the children. 

Goro was just sitting under a tree, resting in the cold February air, when he heard footsteps crunching up to him through dead leaves. He wasn't in the mood to talk yet, to anyone, and didn't bother opening his eyes. 

"What do you want?" he sighed.   
  
“Well, I would ask for you to be less rude, but we both know that’s not happening,” Ann teased.   
  
Goro slowly opened one eye, a small grimace on his face. She just snorted and offered out a hand.   
  
“C’mon grumpy, Sumi’s about to cut into the cake. We gotta sing, and...you remembered Jose’s, right?” she asked.   
  
Goro took her hand, pulling himself up, “Of course I did. It’s in the car. I’ll go get it then-”   
  
Ann’s grip on his hand tightened, “You aren’t skipping out on _another_ birthday song because you conveniently stay at the car for five minutes. You can get it _afterwards_ .”   
  
Goro groaned heavily as Ann more or less dragged him towards the other party-goers. Ann shoved him until he was standing between her and Makoto, something neither brunette was thrilled about. They exchanged poison laden looks, but didn’t dare cause a scene and risk ruining Sumire’s good time.   
  
The kids all came skittering over not long after, Suki clinging to Haru’s leg, and Jose tugging at Goro until he knelt down and picked him up. He spotted at least five other kids running around to their parents, and the little crows flocking to their raven haired parent. Goro watched Akira for a moment, seeing him pat their heads and watching as he knelt down to fix one girl’s somewhat messy hair back into its bun.   
  
He hadn’t realized he was zoning out until Jose lightly tugged on a lock of his hair, snapping him out of it. “Hm? Sorry Jose, what do you need?” Goro asked quietly.   
  
“Do I have to eat something different than the other kids?” he asked, tugging one earplug out to hear Goro’s response.   
  
Goro sighed and pet Jose’s head, “Yes. You don’t have to eat if you don’t want to, but you just can’t have cake, there’s too much sugar. You never cared about this before, what changed?”   
  
Jose frowned, put his earplug back in, and gave a halfhearted shrug. He leaned his head against Goro, refusing to look at him, watching the other adults instead. Goro took this to mean he’d upset the boy, that or he was hiding something. He was never one to voice when something was wrong…   
  
Before Goro could dwell on it for too long, Sumire and a blonde man Goro recognized from her gym walked up, balancing a huge cake between them. There were well over fifty people at the party, so she must have wanted to be sure she had enough for everyone. They both set it carefully down and took a step back, the blonde man giving a thumbs up and a broad grin. Then, to Goro’s surprise, the blonde strode right over to Akira, throwing an arm around him and whispering something, which earned him a shove and a laugh from Akira.   
  
That was...weird. Sumi had said he didn’t have many friends, right? Who could he have possibly met here that he warmed up to so fast? Unless...that man wasn’t just a friend..? Goro shook his head, turning away. No, he didn’t care. He had enough to worry about without bothering thinking about a man he barely knew.   
  
Ann nudged Goro, indicating he clearly wasn’t in the present _enough._ And he forced himself to mumble-sing along when the others started up. Jose sang along too, his hands over his ears to muffle what his earplugs couldn’t. He looked happy again, absolutely beaming with joy as he sang tuneless to a song he didn’t even know all the words to. Sumire opened presents and gave big hugs to all her friends, and Jose looked ready to burst with happiness as she thanked him and Goro for her framed puzzle painting. Everything went completely fine up until Goro and Ann handed Jose his special pre-wrapped cake slice.   
  
One of the few things Goro could make, a recipe Ann had given him. Too much sugar made Jose panic, and normal cake was well over the limit, so he or Ann always made a special cake with sugar free batter and Jose’s favorite lemon frosting. It was still sweet, but nowhere near as bad as normal cake, and Jose always said how much he loved it. Ann called it ‘star cake’ for her star boy. Today, however, he seemed unhappy as Goro handed him the plate with his cake on it.   
  
“Thank you,” he said softly, not protesting further, but still seeming off. 

Goro watched him walk off to the table with the other kids, hesitating before one of Akira's twins scooted to make room for him. They might be little demons, but at least they seemed to play nice with Jose. 

Goro watched for another moment, concerned, before Ann patted his shoulder. "Hey, he's a smart, nice kid. You don't have to hover all the time, it's alright." 

Goro let out a short sigh, "I suppose you're right. He just seemed so opposed to this for some reason. He's never had an issue with needing different things than other children before. Do you think someone said something to him?" 

Ann squeezed his shoulder, "well, everyone at the daycare has been really nice and supportive. Those little twins don't even tease him, and they knocked a boy into his Lego tower the other day." 

Goro snorted, turning to properly face Ann, "did he deserve it?" 

She blinked, mouth slightly open. Goro huffed and crossed his arms, flushing slightly pink. 

"Oh come now, I've been meaner than that towards little gremlins." 

Ann shook her head and said, "no I just… Akira asked the exact same thing when he picked them up. You should _really_ give him a chance." 

"What is it with you and my love life? I'm _not_ interested," Goro snipped. 

Ann snickered, "suure. Don't think I didn't see you flirting earlier. I mean, you know, that weird rabid animal thing you do that I've come to realize is your version of flirting. He's asked me about you, you know."

Goros eyes widened slightly. Okay, so maybe that blonde man _was_ just a friend. Not… not that it mattered. "And what did you tell him?" 

Ann hummed innocently, locking her hands behind her back and swinging her hips back and forth, "Oh you knoow, usual stuff. That you're a good writer, super pretentious, sensitive neck, oh and that I saw you rob an ATMonce."

"WHAT?" Goro yelled so loud that Makoto whipped her snide little head around to glare at him. He flipped her off and continued, quieter, "You can't just tell people personal things about me! _Especially that neck thing._ "

Ann snickered, "not my fault you're a chatty drunk, Goro. But like, you aren't more concerned about the ATM one? Some priorities you have." 

"Like I care about that. This man tried to steal my wallet and I shoved him out of a moving car last week. I doubt the ATM thing would cause alarm." 

Ann's eyebrows raised, "hey back up, you um, you did _what_ now?" 

"It was only going like two miles per hour!" Goro protested quickly, face flushing a darker red. 

"Holy shit, this guy must be some kind of insane masochist. I'd never talk to anybody again if they fucking-Goro, _how_ are you this unhinged?" 

"Like you don't know," Goro huffed, "and clearly he's even more insane than I am. He just won't give up."

Ann crossed her arms, "yeah, he's the only one enjoying this, sure." 

"Look, Ann, I am not going to continue to debate-" 

There was a sharp scream from the children's table, making Goro quickly turn. It was unclear what exactly had happened, or how things had escalated this fast, but Caroline was straddling another child, absolutely slapping the hell out of him. He was the one screaming. 

Suki was standing, looking like she was trying to de-escalate things, both of her arms out to prevent more children from joining the fight. She was trying to yell orders to be calm, but could barely be heard over the little boy's shrieks. Goro looked around, frantic, until he spotted Jose. 

Jose had been pulled away from the other kids, and Justine was with him, holding him at a safe distance, hugging him like she was protecting an abused puppy as she watched, her blank face emanating hatred, as her sister beat up the other kid. Jose was trembling in her arms, entirely silent, but clinging on so hard it looked like he might be bruising Justine's arm. 

The chaos lasted all of ten seconds before parents were swarming, adding to the noise as they yelled for their kids and grabbed various children. Haru snapped Suki up, and Akira rushed over to pull Caroline off of the boy, earning a couple wayward smacks himself in his attempt. 

Goro ran over to Jose and Justine, gently prying him away so he could pick him up. Justine looked up at him, her normally flat face scrunching up in a way that made it look like she was fighting back tears. 

"I didn't know. I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Is he gonna die?" 

Goro hugged Jose to his chest, checking that his ear plugs were in securely before fixing Justine with a hard stare. "What did you do?" 

She looked down, ashamed, "the other kids were being mean. I thought you were just being stupid. We convinced him to just eat normal cake with us, to make the others stop. Please… is he gonna be okay..?" 

Goro closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on. Deep down, he felt like he knew where Justine was coming from. But the protective parent in him just wanted to yell at her for being so incredibly stupid. He settled for the middle ground, and just flatly told her, "He'll be fine in a few hours. Go back to your father. Now." 

Justine whined softly, nodded, and scurried off. Goro could just hear the jumbled mess of an argument breaking out, some woman screeching louder than the boy at Akira, calling him a horrible parent and telling him his children should be taken from him. 

Sumire was desperately trying to settle both parties, and Ann was with the other blonde, having him help her get the other children and parents off to a calmer area. 

Goro wanted to know what the hell had happened, but couldn't let Jose stay around this. Though, as angry as he was, maybe it was best someone else calmed Jose for a few minutes anyway. He walked straight up to the arguing group and tapped Sumire's shoulder. 

She looked over, big eyes wet at the corners. She had never been the best in tense situations like this, especially when she couldn't even figure out what was going on. Goro carefully pushed Jose into her, figuring this might be best for her too. 

"Here. Take him inside please, I'll handle this." 

Sumire took Jose gently, her hand resting against his head as she pressed him close. She mouthed a quiet 'thank you', and hurried Jose away from the angry mess of noise. 

With his boy safely in the arms of someone he trusted, Goro threw his calm facade aside, approaching and pushing himself through Akira and the woman, standing obnoxiously between them. 

"Both of you shut the fuck up!" he snapped, "what the _hell_ is your problem?!" 

"His DEMON attacked my baby for no reason!" the woman screamed. 

Goro had to restrain himself from knocking her teeth out. Would it kill her to just _stop yelling?_

"Why don't you fucking ask about it before you assume she had no reason?" Akira hissed, holding both of his girls close. Caroline was clinging to him, her eyes red with tears even as she tried to look angry and mean. 

"There's NEVER a good reason! I can't believe Sumire would let some unruly stranger and his kids come to her party! What is it, just because you're both Japanese? Or did you trick her into it or something? I'm going to get your kids kicked out of school for this!"

Goro rubbed his temples, "my God can this harpy screech. Just-child. Children. Ask the damn kids what happened." 

After her mini-rant, the woman seemed to calm slightly, but still looked redder in the face than Goro thought possible. She nudged her still sobbing child, "Go on then Todd, tell us how this girl _attacked_ you." 

The boy sniffled, rubbing his face, which looked like it was going to have some pretty solid bruises in the morning, "I-I dunno, I was just kidding around! I was just kidding!" 

Caroline lurched forward, stopped only by Akira's firm hold on her arm. She clawed at the air with her free hand anyway. "Damn liar! You were bullying my friend! You deserve a broken nose!" 

The boy screamed and hid behind his mother, crying harder. Caroline snarled and snapped her teeth, and Justine just glared. 

Goro turned fully towards the girls, feeling a new kind of anger bubbling fresh in his gut, "Girls. I'm sorry, but can you tell me _exactly_ what this boy was doing?" 

Caroline nodded, wiping her eyes, "he was being a _dick_. He kept making fun of Jose for being different, we couldn't make him stop, a-and when Jose started panicking, he just laughed. He called him some really bad things." 

Goro felt his headache worsening, his teeth ground together, but he let them continue. 

Justine nodded, still half hiding behind Akira's leg, "when he called Jose a word we aren't supposed to use, Caroline got fed up and put Todd in his place. He deserved it." 

Goro closed his eyes, trying _very_ hard not to let himself tip over the boiling point, not wanting to do or say anything he'd regret. 

"He did not!" the woman snapped, "you little demons should never hit! He was just being a boy! It's not his fault! Maybe you and that special boy should just learn to take a joke!" 

And then Goro blacked out.


	3. The Sand Below

When Goro came back to his senses, it was well after dark, he felt like he had a black eye, and he was pretty sure he was on Sumire's couch. Jose was sound asleep next to him, curled up against his side. Goro let out a breath, more relieved that he was okay than anything. 

Sumire walked in from the kitchen, carrying two glasses of water. She spoke quietly, likely because of Jose. "Hey, so I got us some water, if you think he's calm enough, I promise it's safe now. Pretty much everyone has gone home." 

Goro blinked slowly, his hand running through Jose's hair absently as he replied, "Sorry, I… were we talking? I'm so sorry, Sumire san. I think the stress really got to me. I ruined your party, didn't I?" 

Sumire blinked, eyes wide and owlish. After opening and closing her mouth a few times, she finally managed to say, "no! No, you didn't at all. If anything Barb did. That um, Todd's mom. Though she might be suing you now, fair warning."  
  
Goro groaned and rubbed his head, still a little out of it. "Suing, is she? Hmph, wouldn't be a first. What the hell did I do anyway? Are you sure I didn't ruin your day?"

Sumire shook her head rapidly, "No no! Not at all! I mean, you were just standing up for your kid, you know? She actually hit you first, and you just shoved her. She fell over, but it definitely didn't hurt her that bad."

Goro sighed heavily, "Why don't I ever remember doing this shit? I'm glad I didn't do any real damage, but still, I'm sorry, Sumire san. I just get so worked up sometimes..." he hesitated, glancing over at her, "...what about Akira and his children?"

Sumire smiled a little, "Worried you said something mean to them? It's alright. You didn't. I mean, you did, but like, just to Akira. He seemed surprised, but I seriously doubt you did any damage there, emotional or otherwise."

Goro huffed quietly, continuing to pet Jose's hair, "Well, he probably deserved it for having such a poor handle on his children. Though I do appreciate that the little demons were just trying to help Jose, even if they were being stupid about it."

Sumire moved to sit by Goro on the couch. He tensed when she hugged his arm, but slowly relaxed into it. She was more affectionate than he liked, but he'd put up with it. And he didn't _hate_ it or anything. Besides, even if she insisted he didn't ruin anything, he was sure her birthday had been cut short due to that whole mess. He really owed her now.

"Try not to feel guilty over this. And hey, if you're worried about it, just text Akira and apologize. It's not weakness to feel guilt, you know," Sumire said gently.

Goro sighed, slipping his arm out of her grasp so he could wrap it around her shoulders, "This is pathetic. You don't need to be comforting me right now. Today was supposed to be focused solely on you, you know. Aren't you disappointed?"

Sumire blinked up at him, eyes searching. Slowly, she smiled, and said, "Disappointed? Not at all. I still got to spend a lot of time with all my friends, and after most of the party cleared out, my _closest_ friends stayed behind, helped clean up, and we all got to talk and enjoy a smaller celebration. You were back in the house most of the time, not ruining anything. I promise."

Goro sighed, nodding slightly, "Well...that's a relief, I suppose. I still feel like I owe you for today. Let me make it up somehow."

Sumire hugged him tight, "You can make it up to me by talking to Akira and then moving on! Just don't beat yourself up over this. And you can look stoic and bitchy all you'd like, I KNOW how you are. You don't hide guilt as well as you think!"

Goro huffed, lightly pushing against her cheek, "you're impossible."

Sumire just grinned against his palm, "I'm pretty sure that's you."

\---

Sumire let Goro and Jose stay the night, that way Ann wouldn't have to drive all the way back to get them, and then brought the two with her to school the next morning. Goro sat in the backseat with Jose on the way, listening quietly while Sumire went on about how sorry she was that they had to head to the school so much earlier than usual.

"It's just because I need to set up for class and make sure everything is ready and-I mean, I'm sure you already know. I just feel bad, waking Jose up a whole hour earlier."

Jose smiled sleepily, his head rested against Goro's arm, "'s okay Miss Yoshizawa. I know you gotta do an important job. I got aquestion, though."

"Oh? What's that Jose?" Sumire asked.

"Mm, you gotta do work, an...papa didn't drive here. How's he gonna get home?"

Goro blinked, honestly not having thought about it. He was in pretty good shape, though, and the school was only fifteen miles from home. Maybe he could walk it?

"Oohhh well don't worry about that!" Sumire grinned, cheshire wide, "I already arranged for somebody to bring him back home."

Goro paled, "You know, I go to the gym with you plenty, you know how in shape I am. I'm certain I can just jog home-"

Sumire waggled one finger, "No! That's way too far to jog when you haven't even done marathon training this year. I already took care of it. So just relax, got it?"

Goro grumbled a few swears under his breath and then said, in Japanese, "Sumire san, if you've contacted the bastard I think you have-"

Sumire cut him off, "I know you won't talk to him otherwise! Just accept my gracious help, Goro san. I won't let you refuse it."

"If you think I _want_ to talk to him again, you are sorely fucking mistaken-"

"Don't try and weasel out of this, you stubborn man!"

Jose looked between the two, then asked in poorly accented Japanese, "who did contacted?"

Goro blinked, and Sumire covered her mouth. He had forgotten how far Jose had come in learning the language. He was extremely proud, obviously, but now he was also mortified. He switched back to English, nervously replying, "just one of Miss Yoshizawa's friends. Don't worry about it sweetie."

Sumire cleared her throat, "Jose, you're um, learning Japanese really well. Good job! You're such a smart boy."

Jose smiled a bit, "I gotta learn fast, so I can listen better when papa tries to have secret talks with you and Miss Ann."

Goro snorted, "You... you're something else."  
  
\---

The three arrived at the school, and Goro walked with the others to the entrance. He knelt down and squished Jose's little face, "You'll be alright with Miss Yoshizawa until classes start?"

Jose nodded, blepping his tongue out.

"And you're feeling better after yesterday?"

Jose frowned and looked away, "I do...but... are you mad?"

Goro shook his head, "I'm not mad at all. You just made a mistake. Mistakes are a part of growing up. I love you very much, alright?"

Jose nodded slightly, looking relieved, "Yeah. okay. Thank you papa."

Goro ruffled his hair one last time before standing back up. He waved as the two walked inside, and let out a sigh. He debated just turning and sprinting off towards home before the insufferable bastard showed up, but Sumire did have a point about it being a bit too long to walk... especially in such cold weather.

He pulled out his phone and checked the time, barely six. The other parents wouldn't be showing up for at least another half an hour, maybe even an hour. He just... really didn't want to have to see or talk to Akira today. He was probably mad that his girls got in trouble, and who knew what Goro had even said to him while blacked out?

Goro sat down on the curb, staring at his phone and mulling over his options, when a familiar voice called out to him, "Hey there, beautiful! Need a ride?"

Goro's head snapped up as Akira approached, his two kids nowhere to be seen. Goro raised an eyebrow, glancing around, "What... why are you here so early? Where are your de-children?"

Akira plopped down on the curb next to him and leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm, "They got a two day suspension for beating up that little boy. Well, Caroline did. Justine got the suspension for swearing at the principal when she told us Caroline was suspended. My kids are amazing."

Goro's face reddened, and he glanced away. "They actually got in trouble for that..? They weren't even AT school. Preposterous. I... hope I didn't make things worse for you three."

Akira nudged his arm, "You really really didn't. The only reason they got in trouble at all was because that bitch was related to the principal. Sumire just knows everybody, huh?"

Goro crossed his arms, "Ugh. She's too friendly to too many people."

There was an awkward silence for a minute, and then Akira said, "So, you coming, or are we gonna sit out here freezing our asses off?"

Goro sighed heavily, "Fine." 

He stood, following after Akira in silence. He waited until they got to the car, and finally asked, "...why the hell did you agree to this? Didn't I yell at you yesterday?"

Akira opened his driver side door, "Oh, yeah. But you weren't wrong. Question though, do you even remember what you said? You seemed kind of... different."

Goro got in the passenger side and shook his head, "...to be honest, I have problems with blacking out during stressful situations. Sumire insisted I just talk to you about things. I... did not want to do that."

Akira laughed lightly, "Running away? Funny, you didn't strike me as a coward."

Goro looked over at him, mouth open. Akira's eyes twinkled with a challenge. The man smiled at Goro before turning his attention to driving. Goro exhaled sharply through his nose. This man was obviously baiting him. And he was definitely going to fall for it.

He turned his face against the window, staring out at the rolling pavement as Akira pulled out. He sighed and slowly started, "I know I was angry yesterday, but more than anything, I was worried about Jose. He's so strong and smart, but he never tells me when things are wrong. Growing up in the system will do that to you, make you feel like you have to keep your troubles in if you want love." 

Goro watched the rocky edge of the road turn to soft grass, his mind wandering a bit as the scenery passed by. "He's such a good kid, I just lose it so easily when I think someone is hurting him. I have no idea what I said to you, honestly, but I'm sure it was harsh and... likely undeserved. Your girls, misguided as they were, were trying to help Jose."

There was silence for a minute, and then Akira said, "Yeah. My girls had it rough too. Up until this year, their mother had custody. She still technically does," he laughed bitterly, "don't out me to the authorities."

Goro slowly looked over at him, "...so, you're in America... because you kidnapped your children? You're on the run?"

Akira shrugged, "Not running so much as hiding. I couldn't let her keep them though, I just couldn't. She was horrible, she wouldn't feed them." 

Goro was silent, looking back over and seeing Akira's hands tighten on the wheel. 

"She'd lock them out of the house if they upset her, and it never took much to set her off," Akira, paused to take an unsteady breath before plowing on, "they came to me one night, half frozen, shaking, clearly hadn't eaten in days. Justine was stone faced, entirely flat as she told me her mother had kicked them out for not doing their chores, and that they'd walked for a day and a half to find me."

Goro searched his gaze, silently waiting for him to continue. The man shook his head slowly, staring blankly at the road, "She was a horrible wife, abusive, cruel. I thought she'd at least be a better mother. I didn't even want kids, she tried to trap me with that, you know. Thought if she got pregnant I'd have to stay. I divorced her anyway, the court let us have joint custody at first."

"I guess she wasn't satisfied with that?" Goro asked.

Akira shook his head, "I hoped she'd take care of them, because they're hers. I thought she might spoil them, ruin their attitudes, maybe even make them hate me, but I never thought she'd treat them so poorly."

Goro nodded slowly, "So... you took them and ran, then?"

Akira nodded, jaw set. "I had a friend here in America, he knew about my situation, and said there'd be a place for us to stay until I managed to get my own. It's been hard, but it's a thousand times better than letting that woman destroy my babies."

Akira glanced towards Goro, "You were harsh. You told me I didn't teach them right, that they would just keep getting themselves into shit if I didn't grow a spine and enforce real rules. And... you're right."

Goro blinked in surprise, certainly not having expected that, but it seemed he wasn't done yet. 

"It's just hard," Akira said, sounding so, so tired, "I grew up in an oppressive home with too many rules. They pressured me into that awful marriage in the first place. And then with what the girls went through with their mom? I'm worried. I don't want to just be another abusive parent."  
  
Goro shifted slightly in his seat, turning his attention back to the pavement outside, watching the grass at the edge of the road fly by. “I… do understand that. No one is perfect at this, I suppose I share some of the same reservations you have. I’m sure you’ve gathered I’m not always the most level-headed person. I can’t say I don’t worry that I’ll end up hurting my boy, I worry quite often.”  
  
“But..?” Akira slowly pressed.  
  
Goro let out a soft breath, it was absurd this stranger could read him like that. “But, our reservations aren’t doing our children any favors. We need to try and do what’s actually best for them, and not just what’s easiest for us. And isn’t that truly the issue? If you’re too scared to do the right thing for them, then you’re the one being a coward.”  
  
Akira laughed softly, a joyless sound of agreement, “Yeah, I’m kind of a pushover when it comes to them, you aren’t wrong about that. But… you are too, aren’t you? You wouldn’t talk like that if you weren’t.”  
  
Goro exhaled through his nose, bumping his head against the glass, “What’s that matter to you? You don’t know me.”  
  
“You don’t know me either.”  
  
The air was still and quiet for a long time after that. Neither man speaking as Akira drove. They arrived at Goro’s house about five minutes later, but Goro hesitated, not wanting to leave things like this.  
  
“...are your children with Ann?” he asked.  
  
Akira nodded, “Yeah. I have work in a few hours, so I dropped them off before I came to get you. Why?”  
  
Goro opened the door, hesitating further, one foot on the ground. “...you went out of your way for a stupid reason, I may as well repay you. Come in, I’ll make coffee.”  
  
He got out and proceeded straight to his door, assuming Akira would either take him up on it or drive off. At that second, he wasn’t sure which he wanted the man to do more. As Goro unlocked his door, he heard footsteps behind him on the grass.  
  
He wordlessly motioned for Akira to walk in in front of him, and latched the door shut as he followed. It was a little awkward, and Goro wasn’t even entirely positive why he’d suggested this, but he just felt this need to. Like there was an unspoken conversation that still needed to be had, some common ground here that might be so easy to bridge if he simply reached across to bridge it.  
  
He walked to the kitchen, Akira still on his heels. He dug around until he found the coffee grounds and then paused, looking around for the pot. He was turning pinker as he began to search in every cabinet, growing more and more flustered as he couldn’t find the stupid thing, especially when Akira was _definitely_ watching him. After a good few minutes of this, he heard a small snort, and whipped around to glare at Akira.  
  
“Don’t make coffee often?” He asked, motioning up to where Goro’s coffee pot sat, gathering dust atop the fridge.  
  
Goro’s face flared red as he stalked over, swiping it, “You could have said something a little sooner, you know!”  
  
Akira chuckled, “I know, but I was enjoying myself.”  
  
Goro grumbled as he grabbed the filters, fortunately sitting out on the counter, and started setting up the pot. He started to put the whole machine in the sink to put water in it, and felt a hand on his shoulder, making him jump.  
  
“Hey, be honest,” Akira said, whispering right next to Goro’s ear, “...you’re fucking with me, right?”  
  
Goro swatted him away and spun around, “What? No, I obviously am not trying to make a fool of myself for your amusement over here!”  
  
Akira covered his mouth, nodding slowly. He walked over, gently took the machine back out of the sink, and removed the glass pot, filling that with water instead. Goro just watched him, irritated and confused, until Akira started filling the machine using the pot, maintaining eye contact the entire time. Goro felt like he actually caught on fire.  
  
He covered his face with both hands and turned away, saying nothing. The bastard started laughing, and Goro sank to the floor, groaning loudly. Akira nudged him with a foot, and Goro flopped over onto his back, slinging one arm over his face and letting the other splay across the floor.  
  
“Just kill me here,” he grumbled.  
  
“Think of the mess,” Akira chuckled.  
  
Goro slowly sat up, still blushing pretty hard, “Look, I swear I’m not an idiot-”  
  
“I bet watching you try to cook dinner is better than a show.”  
  
Goro reached out, punching Akira in the leg, “Asshole.”  
  
Akira offered a hand up, grinning down at him, “So I’m right, then?”  
  
Goro slapped his hand in Akira’s and rose to his feet, “...no comment.”  
  
Akira hummed, clearly amused, and walked over to Goro’s fridge, throwing it open. Goro made a protesting noise, but Akira just waved him off. “Don’t mind me, just seeing what master chef Goro has in here. Mhm, Mhm, lots of little veggies and deli meats.”  
  
Akira poked his head back out, looking at Goro, “Hey. How do you feed your kid, huh?”  
  
Goro’s blush burned darker, “I… he cooks, sometimes. He doesn’t like it when I cook. It’s not like I don’t try…”  
  
Akira closed the fridge and tipped his head, “Don’t you think you oughta learn? Even if it’s not easy? Hm?”  
  
“Oh now don’t start, my poor kitchen skills are not the same thing as you not teaching your children how to function in public spaces,” Goro replied.  
  
Akira shrugged, “Maybe not, but I sure hope you aren’t teaching him to stick entire appliances in the sink.”  
  
Goro made a sound like an angry bird and stalked out of the kitchen, opting to sit angrily on the couch instead. Inviting this man inside had been the worst idea he’d ever had.  
  
Akira joined him on the couch a minute later, clearly ignoring Goro’s hostility, “I’ll stop now. Seriously though, it is important you like, learn how to cook at least a little. It can’t feel great, seeing your eight year old taking care of himself when you can’t. Isn’t that right?”  
  
Goro sighed in defeat, lowering his head, “I get it. You don’t have to throw my points back in my face, I am well aware. But I simply don’t have the time to learn, nor do I know where I’d even go _to_ learn.”  
  
“Sumi said you’re a writer, so you work from home, right?” Akira asked.  
  
Goro folded his arms over his chest, “How damn much are my friends going to tell you about me?!”  
  
Akira snickered, but otherwise ignored the comment, “Well, since you work from home…I wouldn't mind giving you a couple tips in my free time."

Goro gave an indignant huff, "Why would you want to do that? Do you honestly think I'm that incompetent? I've made it this far without your help, haven't I?"

Akira shrugged, "Hey I was just offering. And honestly? Yeah. You totally are that incompetent. You've got a lot of spikes, but looks to me like you're actually about as big an idiot as I am." He flashed a grin, rows of sharp teeth, daring, cold, "Or maybe you’re too inept to learn..?"

Goro balked, not offended exactly, more startled. So Akira could be spiky too, then? Well good for him. If he thought that was going to throw Goro off, he had another thing coming.

Goro rested his hand on the cushion in front of him, leaning into Akira's space. "Bold of you to think you're in any position to help me when you're so damn hopeless yourself. Maybe I should come to your house and teach you a thing or two about how to give a child structure, hm?"

Akira reached up, flicking his lenses up into his hair. And there it was again, the look Goro had seen at the planetarium. Dark, cunning, calculating. He looked like he was enjoying this. Goro would be lying if he said he wasn't too. Ann and Sumire were wonderful friends, helpful and non judgemental, but this man... this strange rubik's cube of a human being, he was something else entirely. Goro hadn't even realized he was missing anything from his life until it was staring him in the face. Excitement. _A challenge._

"You think you could do better than me? So far all I've seen out of you is a whole lot of bark. Where's your bite, _Akechi?_ "  
  
Goro searched his gaze, an entirely new sort of thrill running up his spine. He grinned, eyes going lidded, “Careful now, _Kurusu_ , keep talking like that and I’ll have to show you.”  
  
Goro swore he could actually see Akira swallow, his whole face turning a delicious shade of pink as he averted his gaze. He clearly hadn’t expected that reaction. Good to know that he could be flustered just as easily as Goro. Goro couldn’t help but think it was actually kind of cute, seeing such a bold man confuse so easily.  
  
Akira looked back at Goro, leaning in a bit, “You know,” he started, and Goro could _swear_ there was the tiniest little waver to his voice, “I might enjoy that.”  
  
Goro could feel his heart speeding up, this was stupid, this was incredibly stupid. He found himself leaning in too, unsure what he was even planning on saying, or if talking was on his mind at all. He cautiously set a hand on Akira’s knee, scooting in so their legs just barely touched.  
  
“I’m not the kind to back down from a challenge,” Goro finally replied, voice barely above a whisper.  
  
“You seemed like the kind who wouldn’t,” Akira murmured back, his hand moving over Goro’s.  
  
Goro didn’t even know what the fuck they were talking about anymore, he wasn’t sure he cared. He wondered how Akira’s silver tongue might feel pressed behind his teeth. Akira tilted his head ever so slightly, reaching out to cup Goro’s jaw, a thumb brushing his cheek. Goro felt shaky, his heart jittering against his ribs as their lips brushed. Akira held him so gently, both hands moving to cup his face, long fingers curling in silky locks as he pressed in. Goro’s eyes slid closed, and then there was a massive BANG.  
  
Both men jumped out of their skin, Goro hitting the back of the couch in his efforts to distance himself from Akira, with Akira straight up falling onto the floor. Goro spun towards the door, a hand on his chest, face cherry red, to see his fucking sister standing in the doorway.  
  
“EY NERD! IT’S YA GIRL!” Futaba yelled in greeting, throwing her arms in the air.  
  
The dead silence she got in reply prompted her to flip up her comically oversized sunglasses, only to reveal her normal glasses beneath. 

She pouted, squinting at where Goro was sitting, petrified, on the edge of his couch. “Um, hello?? What’s with the look? I texted like an hour ago! Were you so busy you didn’t see all the twenty million messag-”  
  
She went silent, eyes widening as Akira sheepishly sat up, rubbing his head from where he’d hit it on the table. She covered her mouth and sank into a squat, staring at Goro in silence.  
  
Akira cleared his throat, breaking the mortifying silence. “H-um, hello. I’m Akira, I uh, I was… just going.”  
  
Futaba emitted a sound somewhere between a shriek and an overheating computer. Akira's face burned so red Goro thought it might actually catch fire. The man spouted several awkward apologies in Japanese, most of which were mumbled under his breath, as Goro just continued sitting in dead silence. 

Goro gave a stilted sort of half-wave and mumbled a goodbye as Akira squeezed past the shocked woman still crouching in the door. Goro could just see out the window as Akira made his escape in that dinky car of his. God how Goro envied him right now. 

Goro cleared his throat and finally, _finally_ spoke. "... How was your flight?" 

Futaba jumped to her feet like her shoes were spring-loaded. She clapped her hands together once before airplaning her arms out and rocketing over to the couch, leaving the door wide open. 

"GORO WHO WAS THAT BEAUTIFUL MAN?" she yelled, falling onto the couch and dramatically wrapping her arms around his neck. "And were you guys smooching?" 

Goro covered his face, groaning softly into his hands. "I swear it's not as bad as it looks…" 

Futaba laughed loudly, clapping both of her hands down on Goro's shoulders hard enough to shake him. "BAD? Goro, it's _great_! I didn't think you dated people, but boom! Total hottie nabbed!" 

Goro lightly knocked her hands away; she packed a solid hit for such a small lady. "Ugh, it's not like that! I'm not dating anyone. Ever. That was just… a lapse in judgement." 

"Uhm, best lapse in judgment _ever_?" Futaba snorted, "it's unfair that you attract guys like THAT when all I get are sweaty gamer nerds. What sorta unfair perks did you pick at your character creation screen, huh?" 

"Crippling emotional trauma," Goro replied flatly.

"Ha ha," she replied, mimicking his dead tone. 

She threw an arm back around his shoulders. "But c'mon, seriously, spill it! What kinda wacky situations are you getting up to while I'm all holed away in Japan, huh?" 

Goro ran through the entirety of the last two weeks in his mind, everything with Sumire and his writing and Jose and Akira, and his brain finally settled on nonsensically spouting out, "that man stole my wallet."

Futaba blinked slowly, understandably confused, which prompted Goro to continue on. So of course, he opened his mouth and just made a bigger fool of himself. 

"I mean-that's not why-there was this thing with his kids getting kicked out of school and Sumire's birthday party was a mess and I think I may have punched someone again but I don't…" he slowly trailed off, Futaba's pursed lips and scrunched eyes making him realize just how utterly insane he sounded. 

He took a slow breath, grounding himself before trying again. Futaba put a hand to his mouth before he could attempt, however, and very slowly said, "Just… start at point A, and work your way through, instead of jumping straight to Z." 

Goro nodded that he understood, too flustered to even attempt being irritated at Futaba for treating him like he didn't know how to speak. Sometimes he thought maybe he actually didn't. He sighed, leaned back against the arm of the couch, and properly recounted the last couple weeks to his sister. He left out a few minor breakdown details, but really, who needed to know about that? 

When he finished, Futaba let the silence hang for a minute. She had retrieved herself a snack and drink at this point, and was quietly munching on cheese crackers, just letting all the information sink in. 

"So…" Futaba started, swallowing her mouthful of crackers, "you stumbled into a doujin?" 

Goro's face flared red, "You're worse than Ann! This is NOT some internet romance novel-" 

"Is _that_ what you think doujins are?" 

"-it's just a very strange series of encounters that happen to look like more than they are to an outsider!" 

"So… if I hadn't walked in, you wouldn't have made out with that guy?" Futaba pressed. 

Goro groaned and sank into his couch cushions, wishing they'd steal him away, let him hide in the void with the remote and countless lost change. 

Futaba snickered, "fine, I'll change the subject, brat." 

Goro sighed, " _Thank_ you." 

"How's your novel going?" 

The weight that dropped onto Goro's chest was tangible. Those four words were like a stack of bricks being unceremoniously dumped onto his sternum. He coughed, choking on air itself, and bolted up, hurrying into the kitchen for some water. 

Futaba's hurried footsteps quickly followed, and he knew she was watching as he shakily filled a glass, dropped it, picked it up, and then dropped it again, shattering it. 

Goro gripped the edges of the sink, a hefty breath escaping him. He stared down at the broken glass in the sink, tap water still pouring over it uselessly. 

"That bad..?" Futaba asked gently.

Goro rubbed his temples, feeling the corners of his vision blur. He wanted to just confide in Futaba, she knew his past, enough of it anyway, but he didn't want her worrying. She was only here for a couple weeks, he didn't want to ruin her visit.

"It's just… writer's block," Goro mumbled, like she'd buy that answer. 

"Remember how I said one day writing your trauma for a job would end up...traumatizing?" Futaba questioned, walking up and guiding him away from the sink. 

Her short frame barely reached his shoulders, it was almost comical how far she had to tilt her head back to meet his eyes, or it would have been in most any other circumstance. Goro let out a sigh so heavy and forceful that he could feel his body deflate. He tried to sink to the ground, but Futaba was somehow strong enough to keep his pathetic self from hitting the floor. 

"Hey-, hey now!" Futaba grunted, wrapping her tiny arm around his waist, managing to keep him mostly upright even while he acted as dead weight. "Let's not lay on the floor, okay? Just sit in a normal seat and talk to me." 

Goro shook his head, forcing his legs to push him back upright. "I'm too heavy, you'll hurt yourself." 

Futaba's smile looked pained, her arm not leaving his waist, "you aren't too heavy." 

Goro shook his head and exited the kitchen. He knew it was wrong to flee, knew she'd worry either way, but he just couldn't bring himself to burden her with this. His head hurt, he didn't know what to do. She wouldn't drop this, she never did, she was caring like that. He didn't deserve it. He was older, he was supposed to be the one taking care of her, helping her with her problems, not the other way around. 

Goro paused in the living room, unsure if he was going to sit back on the couch or just book it to his office and lock himself away like a petulant child. Neither option sounded very appealing, he felt like his heart was stinging. 

What time was it? When would Jose need to be picked up? He had to get it together. His vision felt so blurry, he thought Futaba might be saying something to him, but he couldn't hear her. He turned to try and look for her, and his vision blanked. 

\---

When Goro gained awareness again, he felt scared. He didn't know what time it was, or how he got into his bed. He could hear multiple voices in the other room, including Jose. His bedside clock read nearly five thirty. Hadn't it just been the morning? 

Goro grabbed his head, hands shakily curling into his hair as he tried to get a grip on himself. His blackouts hadn't been this bad since childhood, what was _happening_? Goro sat up, quickly pressing a pillow to his face to try and muffle his frustrated sobs. He drew his knees to his chest, feeling so lost. 

He needed to be okay, his son needed him, his friends would leave him, his sister didn't need this. Why couldn't he just be OKAY? 

After crying into the cold polyester for a good twenty minutes, Goro quietly got up, wiped his face off, and made his way to the bathroom. He slid past the living room easily enough, catching a glimpse of Ann and Futaba talking while Jose showed them something. He was glad they didn't look upset. 

Goro closed the bathroom door carefully behind him, then walked to the mirror. He washed his face, brushed his hair back into an acceptable state, and grabbed some old concealer, feeling the need to patch up the tiredness on his face. 

Once he felt he looked acceptable, and not like he'd just been crying, he headed out to the living room. He needed to… apologize? Pretend it hadn't happened? 

He just wanted to pretend to be happy. 

"Papa, you're awake!" Jose greeted, spotting Goro and running straight into his arms. 

Goro knelt down to catch him, hugging the boy tight. He squeezed him against his chest and gave a convincing smile, "did you have a good day at school? Were you surprised to see Aunt Futaba?" 

Jose beamed up at him, "yeah! I was kinda sad today cause I heard my friends got in trouble, but miss Ann told me they'll be okay. And then Aunt Taba showed up! You were right, she knows SO many planets!" 

Goro laughed and ruffled Jose's hair, "she's the smartest woman I know, I'm glad you had fun." 

He looked up at the two ladies on his couch, smile faltering just a bit when he saw the concerned look they were both giving him. That was never great. 

"Yeah, um," Futaba shook her head, perking back up, "I even told Jose about planets outside our galaxy, and how aliens are totally real." 

Goro scoffed, "you're going to fill my child's head with conspiracies now?" 

"Oh sure, there's endless planets in the universe and we're the _only ones_ with life- no, you know what? I'm not getting into the argument again," Futaba puffed out her cheeks and made a show of crossing her arms and flipping her hair as she looked away. 

Jose flapped his arms, "Noo don't fight!" 

Goro made a soft 'snrk' sound and replied, "ugh, _fine._ I'll concede that it's _possible._ Happy?" 

Futaba whipped back around, smushing up her cheeks, "Vewy." 

Jose laughed loudly, flapping his arms harder and running up to her. Futaba picked him up and started smushing his face up too, making him laugh harder. 

Ann slowly got up and moved towards Goro, who was still standing in the hall doorway. "Hey," she greeted quietly, "I think we need to talk." 

Goro's anxiety spiked, and he gave this sort of stilted half-nod, "right now..? Jose-" 

"Futaba is having fun with him. Come on, I'm taking you on a little drive," Ann replied calmly, her voice unusually serious.

Goro swallowed, knowing he wasn't getting out of this, and called out, "Jose! Miss Ann needs my help at her house for a little bit, can you have fun with Aunt Futaba while I'm gone?" 

Jose looked over, still grinning brightly, "uh huh! Just be back by bedtime, okay?" 

Goro walked over and gave him a hug, "I will. Have fun, maybe show your aunt all the cool rocks you found while she was gone?" 

Futaba gasped, taking Jose's hands in hers as she bounced him on her skinny legs, "rocks? I LOVE cool rocks! Oh, I even brought you one!" 

Jose's eyes had stars in them, "really?!" 

He shook his head and quickly hugged Goro back, "Love you, Papa, I'll be good!" 

Goro smiled appreciatively at Futaba and replied, "I love you too, and you, Futaba." 

"Whatever, dork," she teased, sticking her tongue out. 

Goro followed Ann out then, comforted by the sounds of Jose's over-excited screams, and then quieter yells when Futaba told him to dial his volume knob down. 

Ann was unusually quiet as they got in her car, so much so that it was honestly worrying Goro. What had he done this time? Was she mad at him? Was she actually just driving him a safe distance away to tell him she couldn't handle being friends with a bitter lunatic like him anymore? He wouldn't blame her. Not after the mess he'd caused these last several days. 

Both remained silent for the entire twenty minute car ride, Ann seeming to be thinking something over, Goro internally panicking. He was even more confused and concerned when they passed her house, only for her to turn down some back road he was unfamiliar with. 

"A-Ann?" Goro finally managed, watching with fear as the lights of her cozy little house passed them by. 

"This is something I want to talk to only you about. It's too personal for Shiho," Ann explained, her voice still dead serious. 

Goro swallowed thickly. Too serious for her wife? He thought she told her everything… 

"Haha, I sincerely hope you aren't taking me out to kill me," he joked anxiously, trying to ease the tension. 

Ann just shook her head, spiking his anxiety even further. 

After another agonizing ten minutes, Ann pulled the car off the road. Goro got out slowly, realizing they were on the edge of the hill that led to the beach. He could just see the waves beyond the thick brush and sparse trees. Ann motioned for him to follow, and after a moment’s hesitation, he did. 

She walked until they were on the sand, stopping at one of the white benches situated near the edge of the beach. They both took a seat, and Goro looked up at the purple and orange painted sky above them, trying to settle his fried nerves. 

"I know what you did," Ann started, prompting Goro's heart to burst through his ribs as his gaze shot back down to her. 

She wasn't looking at him, though. She was staring down at the sand, hands curled together in her lap like she was the one with something to be ashamed of. "You can't ask how. But… I know your past. I have for a while, actually. I was gonna wait until you brought it up, but, I'm starting to realize you'll never trust me that much."

Goro opened his mouth, not even sure yet what to say, but she carried right on over him, teal eyes burning a hole into the ground between them. 

"It's okay. I know why you don't trust, especially with something like that. It's a wonder you trust at all, with how you grew up. But… I couldn't leave this alone. You're hurting yourself with these books, Goro."

Goro was at a loss for words. His jaw worked silently for several moments before finally replying with a too soft, too broken, "You've known..?" 

Ann shook her head in shame, "I… I still don't know how to feel about it sometimes. I know I still care about you, and…if your books are even half true, then, I don't blame you for running and starting over. I don't. But you can't keep torturing yourself, and that's all writing this stuff is doing to you."

Goro looked away. It was his turn to try and wear a hole into the earth with his gaze. "Ann… I don't know how to react to this. I don't even know what to say to-" 

"You don't have to say anything," Ann cut in, resting a hand over his, startling him. "I'm still here for you. Futaba and Sumire are too. We all love you, and so does your son. You're _loved,_ Goro, and no matter how much you hate yourself, we'll all keep on loving you." 

Goro shook his head, feeling tears building, "I don't deserve-" 

Ann grabbed him into a tight hug, "That's not up to you."

Goro was frozen, still just as lost, just as afraid, but knowing at least one of his friends knew who he was, what he used to be, and still wasn't running? It made him feel something else. Something small, insignificant, but something. 

He hugged her back so tightly he was sure it hurt. She didn't complain. He bent his head at an awkward angle to press it into her blonde hair, and just for a moment, he tried to be okay with this. He was sitting here, a thirty four year old man, and he felt like that same desperate, lonely six year old he used to be. He'd been deprived of love for so long that he hadn't even realized that he'd kept on depriving himself of it when he didn't have to. 

He cried for the second time that night, and she let him. She didn't call him weak, didn't hit him or push him away, she just hugged him with as much force as she could, mumbling meaningless assurances against his chest. 

Goro felt unbelievably embarrassed when he finally settled down, but he also felt… lighter. 

He wiped his face on his jacket sleeve, makeup ruined again, and mumbled a quiet, "thank you, Ann." 

She rested a hand on his shoulder, "Of course. I'm here for you, alright? You don't need to keep everything in anymore. Nobody's gonna reject you for expressing your emotions." 

Goro laughed softly, "Am I truly that transparent?" 

Ann rubbed his back assuringly, "Kind of." 

Goro looked at her, smiling tiredly, but genuinely. "I really do appreciate this. But… you know writing is my job. What exactly do you propose I do? Stop writing and let my son starve?" 

"You can get other jobs! Or write about something else!" Ann insisted, "or at _least_ get therapy." 

Goro waved that off instantly; even the _thought_ of a therapist making his stomach turn in knots. "That's not necessary. I will at least _consider_ changing topics, but I doubt my agent would be pleased." 

"If you find something REALLY good she will be!" 

Goro snorted, turning his gaze back to the setting sun, "Well, if a golden book idea smacks me in the face, you'll be the first to know."


	4. The Grass That Grows

The next day, Goro woke up in his bed instead of at his desk for the first morning in what felt like weeks. His dark circles still felt heavy, and the straining ache of not knowing what to do rested present on his mind, but knowing Ann still supported him was an entirely different weight lifted. 

Goro got up and prepared a nice bagged lunch of prepacked food for Jose, then headed back through the living room. Futaba was passed out hard on the couch, her phone hanging out of one hand, headphones askew, laptop still open on the coffee table. Goro knew better than to try and wake her from her gamer coma anytime before noon. 

He did, however, stop to push her into a more comfortable position, set her devices aside, and drape a blanket over her. She snorted and mumbled softly, but didn't wake. Goro smiled a bit and moved on to waking his son. 

Jose was up and ready before long, munching on a cheese stick as Goro tied his scarf nice and loose around his neck. 

"It's very cold today," he told the boy, "so try to keep the scarf on, okay?" 

Jose nodded, patting the extra soft material, "It's not too uncomfy, it'll be okay!" 

Jose glanced back to where Futaba was snoring as Goro patted the child's coat, "is Aunt Taba gonna be asleep all day?" 

"Half of it, I'm sure," Goro replied, "she's training for her work."

"The codes n video games?" 

"Right. You're about old enough to learn one of her harder games, you know. I bet she'd show you if you asked," Goro mused. 

Jose clutched his bagged lunch tightly in one hand and grabbed Goro's with the other, glancing towards the knocked out woman again as they headed out. "It wouldn't be annoying?" he asked tentatively.

Goro squeezed Jose's hand a little harder, "you're never annoying."

"Miss Pinely says it's annoying when I ask lots of things and still don't understand," Jose replied. 

"Well, maybe Miss Pinley is just a shrewd old crow," Goro replied coldly. 

Jose climbed into the backseat and fought with the seat belt, ending up needing Goro to help him get it clicked in place. He stared at the buckle for a minute, then looked up at Goro, "...it's not cause I'm not normal?"

Goro felt his heart ache. He knew what it was like to feel that way, to have people older and supposedly wiser telling him that he was just a bad, impossible, burden of a child. Even a possibility of Jose feeling the same made him want to rip out the spinal columns of anyone who dared make him doubt himself. 

He bit back his anger and gave Jose a gentle hug, petting his hair and mumbling in what he hoped was a proper assurance, "you're perfect as you are, Jose." 

Jose was silent for a minute, then quietly replied, "promise?" 

Goro resisted the urge to crush the child in the tightest hug he could, not wanting to panic him. Instead he just nodded and pulled back, squeezing his hands, "I promise." 

Jose smiled up at him, this big, sunshine bright grin, and said, "you're perfect too, papa." 

Goro laughed a little and had to turn away, not wanting Jose to see him tearing up. Jose might think he'd done something wrong if he saw, and honestly, Goro wasn't even sure if the words helped or not. His chest felt warm, but it prickled sharp and insistent, a twisted mix of happiness and shame. 

"Thank you, sweetheart," Goro replied softly, closing the door so he could get in his own seat. 

He really didn't know what he did to deserve such a perfect angel of a kid, but he was so _so_ sure he was going to ruin it somehow. The fact Jose felt the need to reassure Goro at all wasn't great, Goro felt like he was doing something wrong. Maybe he was too emotional around Jose, or maybe the boy knew more than he was letting on about Goro's ever fluctuating mental state. Regardless of the reasons, Goro remembered having to say some of the same things to his own mother. And while he loved his mother with all his heart, he couldn't deny she hadn't always been the best at being a parent.

Shaking it from his mind, Goro focused on the task at hand. Namely, getting Jose to school and not having some kind of breakdown, like a normal, well-adjusted man. 

\---

After dropping Jose off for the day, Goro thought it might be good if he made himself actually eat breakfast. Seeing as he still couldn't cook, however, and he wasn't going to wake Futaba up to ask for her help, he decided to just stop at the local cafe. 

Upon entering, Goro was surprised to see a familiar face. All dark curls and customer service smiles, the endless puzzle that was Akira Kurusu stood behind the counter. The green apron looked cute on him. 

Goro shook the persistent gayness from his head and approached, uncertain. "Akira..?" 

The man was turned partially away, explaining to a woman that his English was, in fact, just fine. Upon hearing Goro's voice, however, he shot up straight and whirled around. 

The man looked a little flushed, like he hadn't expected Goro to see him here. He mumbled a swear in Japanese and tugged at his bangs before managing to reply, "I uh, I'll be with you in a minute. Sir." 

"It's not hard to get a size right!" The customer Akira had been talking to was still bitching away. "This whole damn place has gone downhill since they started hiring fucking immigrants-just get me a manager. One who speaks _English_." 

Goro watched silently, thinking Akira had the patience of a damn saint as he simply bowed his head and walked away without a word, likely to retrieve said manager. Goro had no such patience, nor did he have a job to risk by smacking the shit out of a racist moron, so he approached her. 

"Do you take pleasure in the suffering of others?" Goro questioned, not waiting for an answer before carrying on, "or perhaps your own life is so pitiful that you feel the need to diminish others to feel better about yourself. Whatever the case, I've got the start of a headache as it is, and your vapid harpie screeches are grating my skull." 

Goro had worked hard over the last seven years to dull his own accent as much as possible, mostly to lessen painful interactions with harlots like this, so the woman didn't seem to register right away exactly _who_ was insulting her. 

She whipped around to face him, bile still spewing from her painted lips, "The hell's it matter to you? What gives you the right to talk to me like-" 

Goro took a step closer, nearly kicking the woman's polished heels as he met her eye, "I have just as much right as you to be a rude little cunt, now don't I? I'd suggest you get off your high horse and stop thinking you're better than someone for speaking exactly one language _less_ than they do."

The woman's upper lip curled as she looked him over, the situation seeming to fully register at this point. She didn't look ashamed, however. If anything she doubled down, looking somehow redder in the face than she had before. Akira had returned with the manager by this point, who was quick to ask the problem and try to de-escalate things. 

"I'm being ganged up on!" the woman practically shrieked. "All these damn Asian-" 

Goro didn't let her finish, reaching out and slapping her latte out of her hands and into her expensive looking outfit. He smirked, satisfied with himself as she began emitting sounds so egregiously high, they threatened to shatter the glass. 

Akira covered his mouth, eyes wide behind his glasses, and a few customers turned to stare. The manager was in a state of shock for a minute before regaining his composure.

"Both of you, get out. I won't hesitate to call the police if you aren't gone in five seconds," he said firmly, pointing towards the exit. 

Goro, knowing better than to tempt jail time, merely cast Akira a glance before bowing his head and taking his leave. He could hear the woman behind him, still screeching and demanding something be done about this. He was pretty damn happy now, especially with the slight chance that dumb bitch might actually get the cops called on her if she kept that up. 

Sure, he hadn't gotten any breakfast, but nothing was more satisfying than borderline assailing a racist. He was already in his car, about to take off on the off chance police _actually_ showed, when his phone buzzed. 

He glanced down as he pulled out of the parking lot, seeing it was from Akira. Probably just calling him an idiot for escalating things. Goro waited until he was back in his own driveway before taking the time to actually check the message. 

[Akira] 8:41 AM

ur seriously insane. 

[Akira] 8:42 AM

thank you. 

[Akira] 8:50 AM

let me thank u in person? ill bring lunch since i know u can't cook <3

[Goro] 9:02 AM

You're awfully forward, Akira. But fine. I'll accept your thanks in person. 

[Goro] 9:05 AM

…it really was nothing though. You didn't deserve that bullshit. Anyone else would have done the same. 

[Akira] 9:07 AM

maybe. but you actually did. 

"Sup nerd!" Futaba calling out made Goro nearly drop his phone as he walked in the door. 

He tinted pink as he knocked the door closed behind him, "Well well, up before noon? I'm shocked." 

Futaba stretched her arms high over her head, still sprawled across the couch and clearly half asleep. "The great Alibaba does not require mortal sleep! Also I had to pee." 

Goro shook his head and went to walk by, but Futaba called out again, "hey wait! Who were you texting? Was it that dude? Are you… conversing?" 

Goro exhaled sharply through his nose, "I am capable of holding normal conversations, you know." 

Futaba got up, padding over to the hall, "mhmm. How many times has violence been brought up?" 

Goro glanced down at his phone, then back up, "...it's fine. He's into it." 

Futaba actually cackled at that, so loud and sharp it made her double over. "Oh fuck laughed too hard- brb!" 

She booked it to the bathroom, leaving Goro standing in the hall entrance, flustered and agitated. So maybe it wasn't exactly a _normal_ conversation, but he was enjoying it. Wait. He… was enjoying it? He looked down at his phone again, seeing another message from Akira.   
  
[Akira] 9:10 AM   
lunch then. bring jose 2, we can meet at the park after school   
  
Goro stared at his phone screen for a while, worrying his bottom lip. Since when had he started finding Akira’s company agreeable? Or… had he always enjoyed it? He moved to sit on the couch, just staring blankly at his phone, unsure what to respond with. He suddenly felt too close. Surely he’d bring his own kids to the park too, which Jose would love, and he _had_ promised a play date, but this all felt too strange. Like it was some kind of date for _him_ too. And what for? Because he’d been halfway nice towards Akira? No, the man had been pretty forward since they’d met, if anything this was just an excuse. But… did Goro want this? What if something happened again? They’d almost kissed before, did Akira think it was a mistake, or would he want to try it again? Did _Goro_ want to try it again?   
  
The couch dipped next to him, and he startled as an arm was slung around his shoulders. Futaba leaned her head against him, eyeing his phone screen. “Mm...what’re you sitting over here panicking about?”   
  
“Panicking? What are you talking about?” Goro mumbled, lightly shoving her head off of him.   
  
She bonked it right back in place, blepping her tongue out and poking his phone screen for good measure. “This! You were scowling so hard I thought you got an email that they made chess illegal or something. But you’re just freaking out over a boy!”   
  
Goro locked his phone and tossed it onto the table. “I was not _panicking_ about it. I simply… don’t know what to do. That’s all. It’s not as straightforward as it seems!”   
  
Futaba looked up at him, her big brown eyes sparkling as she searched his tired face. “I think you’re just scared. And that’s alright, you know? But I think it’d be good for you to go for it anyway. He seems nice, and he’s as crazy as you. Do you know how rare that is?”   
  
Goro scoffed, “Must you insult me even while being encouraging?”   
  
“Of course, that’s my sibling duty!”   
  
“You’re impossible.”   
  
“No, _you’re_ impossible,” Futaba replied, jabbing his cheek, “I’m just a pain.”   
  
Goro snorted, “That you are.”   
  
Futaba grabbed his phone and pushed it into his hands. “It’s just lunch with your kids. Do it! I’ll even promise not to actively embarrass you if he comes here. I can hold off for at least one day.”   
  
Goro sighed heavily, unlocking his phone. He knew she was right. It shouldn’t even be that difficult a thing to commit to, but he had always had such a hard time forming relationships with anyone. Especially when romantic intent was involved. He needed to push himself out of his comfort zone, though. And if he looked past all the fear, he really did find Akira interesting in this wild, frustrating, mysterious way.   
  
[Goro] 9:45 AM   
You bring food. I’ll bring drinks. Do your demons like sugar free cranberry juice? Because it’s what they’re getting.   
  
Futaba snorted over his shoulder, making Goro shoot her a glare. She grinned at him like the gremlin she was. “You’re _so_ good at this.”   
  
“What’s the problem now, you little fuck?” Goro huffed.   
  
She just shook her head, “Nothing. Wouldn’t be you if it wasn’t direct and frigid, I guess.”   
  
Goro rolled his eyes and elbowed her in the gut, cutting her laughter into a wheeze.   
  
\---   
  
After school, Jose spent the whole ride to the park bouncing excitedly in the back seat. He was happily slapping his hands against his legs and giggling. He was in such a good mood that it eased Goro’s nerves somewhat.   
  
“This is such a good surprise, papa!” Jose beamed, “I can’t wait to see my friends! I’ve missed them at school so so bad!”   
  
Goro nodded simply, taking the turn towards the park, “I’m glad they’ll get to return next week. You remember not to wander too far into the trees, alright?”   
  
“Uh huh uh huh, I’ll stay close, papa!” Jose struggled against his seatbelt, pressing his face as close to the window as he could. He was practically jittering as they pulled into the parking lot.   
  
Goro spotted the pile of scrap metal Akira called his car, and made sure to park next to it. He could feel his heart rate spike, that nervous energy making his stomach turn. He took a breath before getting out of the car. It was just a thoughtful playdate, he shouldn’t be half this anxious.   
  
As soon as he got the seatbelt off of Jose, the boy shot past him, squealing so loudly it startled some nearby birds into flight. Goro grabbed the cooler of drinks he’d packed and hurried after him. “Jose! Volume down, please!”   
  
Jose’s squealing lowered only slightly in volume, and instantly returned full force when he spotted the twins on the playground. Goro sighed and shook his head, he’d just let the boy shriek for a few minutes, he deserved a chance to let out his excitement.   
  
Akira was sitting at a picnic table, looking warmly amused as the child flew by, rocketing onto the little playground so fast he was kicking up wood chips. Akira’s evil children, to their credit, didn’t look annoyed at all that Jose was screaming nonsense as he ran up to them. Justine simply stepped to the side as he tackled Caroline into a hug, and then the braided girl gave him a pat on the head.   
  
Goro walked up to the table, setting the cooler on it and taking a seat next to Akira. “Jose was thrilled at your suggestion, so I suppose I should thank you.”   
  
Akira grinned Goro’s way, leaning back leisurely against the picnic table. “Yeah, probably.”   
  
Goro clicked his tongue, crossing one leg over the other and looking out at the playground. The whole area was a nice little set up, a swingset and a big slide playset resting on a square of wood chips. All of it was surrounded by a sparse pine forest and some nice, neat little white picnic tables. Lots of local parents frequented the place, but it was surprisingly empty today. Goro only saw their three children and, in the distance, a teen couple hanging out in the trees. He realized suddenly how awkward this might be. There was plenty for the children to do, but all he could do with Akira was talk, and he couldn’t imagine that going too well.   
  
Luckily, or unluckily, Akira seemed to have a solution at the ready. The man nudged Goro’s arm, not allowing more than one or two awkward minutes of silence before he said, “Hey, I brought something else, too. You seem like the kind of guy who might enjoy it.”   
  
Goro looked over to see Akira pulling out a little travel chess set. He set it on the table between them. “Besides, I get kinda fidgety if I don’t have something to do with my hands.” He laughed stiltedly at that, like he hadn’t fully meant to admit it.   
  
Goro just nodded, moving to set up the small board, “That’s fair. Jose needs to keep his hands busy too.”   
  
Another silence fell between them, with the only noises being the clacking of plastic pieces and the happy chatter of their children in the distance. Akira cleared his throat and finally spoke up again. “So uh, I’m sure you’re wondering about the cafe job…”   
  
Goro shrugged, “You just moved here, I assume it’s quite difficult to find work, considering you’re foreign and technically on the run. I was quite fortunate; authors don’t need extensive background checks.”   
  
Akira leaned in, intrigued by this. “Oh? Are you also on the run from something? How mysterious.”   
  
Goro hummed noncommittally, internally yelling at himself for having implied that. He didn’t need to be spilling his whole awful backstory to someone he barely knew. Hell, he didn’t even like his closest friends knowing.   
  
“Well, let’s leave it a mystery,” he replied, not helping himself at all.   
  
Akira just chuckled, “Fair enough. You know, I really do appreciate what you did earlier. That bitch didn’t get arrested, but she did get a good talking to and a ban from the cafe. Plus I think I saw one of the regulars laughing, so at least someone had fun at her expense.”   
  
Goro snickered, “yes well, I don’t need an excuse to ruin assholes’ days, but you’re welcome.”   
  
Akira looked down almost sheepishly, moving a pawn, “I really didn’t think my accent was that strong. I mean, yours is a lot better, but, I’ve been working hard on that, you know?”   
  
“It wouldn’t have mattered how clearly you spoke, you look foreign, that’s enough for some people,” Goro replied, moving a piece of his own. “... if it helps, though, the only accent of yours I find strong is that Kansai when we speak Japanese.”   
  
Akira’s face burned at this, it looked cute on him. He played with his glasses, mouth working silently for a moment before he managed, “Th-that’s just uncalled for. I grew up in the Chubu region, you gonna insult me for that now too?”   
  
Goro smiled a bit, resting his cheek on his hand, “Hmm, maybe. If it gets you to turn such a lovely red every time.” He screamed internally as he moved a bishop. He could not BELIEVE he’d just fucking said that.   
  
Akira, for his part, also couldn’t seem to believe Goro had said that. He was staring down at the chessboard, face somehow an even deeper shade of red. For such a smooth man, he sure did unravel easily. And while Goro had just chastised himself for it, Akira was _such_ easy prey, he couldn’t help himself.   
  
“I never took you as the type to melt so easily,” Goro teased, risking a playful brush along the back of Akira’s hand. “Can’t take what you dish out?”   
  
Akira visibly swallowed. He sat up straighter and quickly moved another piece, straight into the line of Goro’s rook. “It just took me off guard. You don’t seem like the kind of guy that’s… like that.”   
  
“Like what?” Goro pressed.   
  
“Flirty, I guess.”   
  
Goro tipped his head, “I’m not flirty.” He reached out, capturing Akira’s bishop, “I just like being in control.”   
  
Akira’s lips parted just slightly, and Goro heard him breathe out. This was dangerous territory, and he knew it. But good God if that didn’t make it more fun. The other man shifted, fighting to regain his composure as he replied, “I see.”   
  
Goro smiled a bit more, nodding towards the board, “It’s your move.”   
  
Akira’s gaze sharpened, and he hid his mouth behind his hand as he turned his attention back to the board. He thought it over for a moment, before reaching out and grabbing Goro’s hand. Goro startled slightly, giving Akira an inquisitive look. The man just tugged Goro’s hand towards him and swiftly pressed a kiss to his knuckles.   
  
“You know, I’m _really_ starting to think you might like me, Goro,” Akira hummed.   
  
Goro cooly held his gaze, even as his heart did a flip. He opened his mouth, unsure how he was even going to retort, when he was luckily interrupted by the children barreling their way up to them.   
  
“Papa lookit this bug I found!” Jose yelled, practically tripping over his own feet in his hurry. He set a walking stick on Goro’s leg and looked up at him proudly. Goro only paled slightly, nose scrunching reflexively as the bug crawled its way along his pant leg.   
  
“Ahaha yes, it’s… nice,” Goro replied, delicately scooping it up and setting it back on his happy son.   
  
Caroline, meanwhile, was yelling about being hungry, and Justine was eerily silent, her little hands cupped closed as she stared at Goro. He shifted slightly in his seat, not liking the way the girl was just _staring._   
  
Akira was trying to calm Caroline, making a soft waving motion with his hands as she just got louder and more obnoxious.   
  
“Sweetheart, please just settle-”   
  
“SAAANDWIIICH!”   
  
“Caro, please just quiet-”   
  
“FOOD NOW!”   
  
Justine approached Goro, shooting a passing glance at Jose, who was calmly watching the walking stick as it crawled all around his arm. She then looked Goro in the eye and held out her clasped hands.   
  
Goro plugged one ear and tilted his head slightly, “Ah, Justine, yes? Did you need s-”   
  
She opened her hands, dropping as much soil and crushed up rocks as her little hands could hold into his lap. “Dirt.” she stated.   
  
Goro stared blankly down at his lap for a moment, just contemplating what choices in his life led him to this situation. He closed his eyes and silently counted down from ten, trying to tune out Caroline the best he could. Akira was such a fucking doormat when it came to his children. Well, if he couldn’t find the line and properly discipline them, Goro would just show him how it was done. Was he overstepping by scolding someone else’s children? Almost definitely. He was doing it anyway, though. He couldn’t take these unruly little gremlins’ behavior for one more second.   
  
Goro stood from his seat, dusting the dirt off himself and turning his attention to the shrieking child first. “Caroline,” he said firmly, and just loudly enough to draw her attention.   
  
She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes defiantly at his tone. “What do YOU want?”   
  
“Caroline, that’s rude!” Akira protested weakly.   
  
Goro knelt down to her eye level, holding her gaze as he calmly and sternly said, “If you continue to cause a scene, you’ll be going straight home, and you can eat there.”   
  
“You aren’t my dad, you don’t GET to tell me what to do!” Caroline snapped. She swung her fist at him, and he simply let it connect. She was a strong little girl, he’d give her that, but he was more than used to Jose lashing out in a panic, so toddler punches and kicks to the chest were nothing new.   
  
“Don’t hit!” Akira said, a bit more sternly.   
  
He moved to pick Caroline up, but Goro held up a hand. “It’s fine, Akira. Go ahead, Caroline. Are you angry? Do you want to hit me again?”   
  
Caroline’s face scrunched up, and she looked from her dad back to Goro, clearly confused. “...what if I do, huh? You gonna stop me? You gonna hit me back? I’m not scared a you!” She threw another punch, making him grunt as it connected with his ribs. That one would probably bruise a bit.   
  
Goro reached out, and she flinched, bracing her fists at her sides. He dropped his palm down on her head, and she gave a little startled squeak. He looked at her and said calmly, “hit me all you’d like. You’re still going to turn around and listen to your dad. Do you know why? It’s because he wants what’s best for you. He’s not going to hurt you, and neither am I.”   
  
Caroline looked away, her fists curling and uncurling at her sides. “...I’m hungry. Just shut up already and gimme food.”   
  
Goro patted her head and stood up straight, “Try again. Ask politely.”   
  
“...you can’t make me.”   
  
Akira looked up at Goro, seemingly taken aback, but not angry. He looked at his child and added slowly, “Caroline, you need to ask nicely when you want something, or else… I will bring us home.”   
  
Caroline twirled around, glaring up at her dad, “What?! But I-”   
  
“You don’t need to protect yourself anymore,” Goro said softly, “you need to trust that your dad wants to keep you safe. And you need to be nice to people who aren’t trying to hurt you.”   
  
Caroline visibly deflated. She flopped onto the grass, her grey coat no doubt getting stained with mud and wood chips. She looked at the ground and threw her hands out in front of her, tearing at the grass. Justine walked up to her, hugging her sister’s neck and looking up at the two adults with concern.   
  
Akira looked at Goro, then down at his girls. He moved off his seat to kneel in the muddy grass with them. He reached out, cupping their little faces, one in each hand. “Is he right? Are you just… scared? You don’t have to be scared of me, you know I’ll protect you.”   
  
“We aren’t scared of you,” Justine said, voice barely louder than a whisper. “We… _I_ don’t know how to act. And I believe Caroline feels the same. If we aren’t…” she trailed off, but Caroline spoke up.   
  
“I gotta make you do what we want, or else what if you forget us?! If I’m not tough, adults will just hurt us again! I don’t wanna be hurt anymore!” the girl exclaimed, throwing fistfuls of grass up in the air.   
  
Jose tried to walk over to the girls, wanting to comfort his friends, but Goro quietly took his hand and held him back. This was between Akira and them, Jose could comfort them after.   
  
Akira just shook his head and pulled them into his arms, hugging the girls tight. “I’d never let anyone hurt you. Not ever again. I love you so, so much, you mean the world to me, okay?”   
  
Goro watched them from a distance, feeling a little odd about intruding on this moment, like he shouldn’t be here to see this. It was nice, though, seeing how much Akira loved his children. He couldn’t keep them in line to save his life, but it was clear how deeply he cared.   
  
Goro walked Jose a few steps over to the table and had the boy help him set up everyone’s lunch, wanting to give Akira at least a little privacy to talk to his kids. Jose carefully laid out the paper plates while Goro set out the food. It looked like Akira had made some sandwiches for the kids, while there were two plastic containers of something for him and Goro. Jose pulled the drinks out of the cooler next, giggling excitedly as he took out the juice.   
  
Goro sat, just contentedly watching Jose shake the juice bottle and laugh at the rising bubbles, when he finally felt the seat shift next to him. Akira let out a heavy sigh and nudged Goro’s shoulder, making him look over.   
  
“Hey, uh, thanks for setting up,” Akira greeted.   
  
“Hello,” Goro replied, “...I hope you know I wasn’t kidding about the sugar free juice.”   
  
The girls ran to sit by Jose, taking a seat on either side of him and hurriedly whispering to him. They must have been talking at once, because Jose shook his head and agitatedly covered both of their mouths, making a small noise of discomfort.   
  
“One at a time,” Goro said simply.   
  
Justine nodded slightly, removing Jose’s hand and waiting patiently while Caroline took her turn whispering to him.   
  
With the kids occupied, Goro turned his attention back to Akira, who was just fishing silverware out of his bag. “Hey, Akira. Did you work things out with them?”   
  
Akira chuckled softly, offering Goro a spoon, “you didn’t overhear?”   
  
“I was doing my best to politely give you some privacy,” Goro huffed, snatching the spoon from him.   
  
Akira just nodded slightly, “I feel like I understand them a little better, yeah.” he hesitated, looking down at his container of food, before adding, “...how’d you know?”   
  
Goro popped the lid off his own and sniffed the contents. A wave of delicious spices hit him, and he hummed, “know what?”   
  
“About Caroline. I mean, I knew she liked to hit but… I never really thought about why, you know? What made you assume..?”   
  
Goro looked down into the container, it was filled with some kind of curry. He stared into the sauce, spoon lightly tracing a path between the vegetables as he pondered how much he wanted to give away in his answer. “...call it first hand experience, I suppose.”   
  
“You uh, have a rough childhood?”   
  
“The foster system was my guardian for the majority of it,” Goro replied. “I don’t care to dwell, however, if you wouldn’t mind.”   
  
“Oh uh, yeah,” Akira said, seeming like he definitely had more questions. Goro was grateful he didn’t ask any of them. Instead, the man nodded towards the container, saying, “Curry. I made it yesterday, careful though, I’ve been told I go a little on the spicy side with it.”   
  
Goro eyes the contents warily, not exactly _fond_ of spice. He didn't want to just outright refuse without even trying it though. He took a small spoonful, making sure to scoop up a good amount of rice with it, and tentatively took a bite. He was very aware of eyes on him, probably Akira trying to gauge his reaction. 

It was, immediately, _overwhelmingly_ spicy. He felt his whole body heating up, the curry leaving a heavy, stinging warmth down his throat. Despite the fact this food had clearly been seasoned with coal from Satan's personal hell fire, it did taste incredibly good. A mix of savory and spice that Goro so rarely found in the local restaurants. He hummed softly, managing to hold off taking a drink right away. Despite the burning at the back of his throat, he found himself wanting to savor the flavor. 

"Is that spicy?" Jose asked, pointing at the container. 

Goro nodded, covering his mouth with his hand before replying, "very. It's good, though." He could see Akira straighten up proudly out of the corner of his eye. 

Akira leaned over closer to him, wagging his spoon, "you know, if it's too hot for you then-" the man hesitated, glancing over towards the three children, who all seemed to be laser focused on the adults suddenly. "N-nevermind."

Goro bit his lip to stifle a laugh, but a small snort still escaped. Akira was such a damn flirt, watching him flounder like this was too fun. So much fun that Goro thought he might just push his luck a bit.   
  
He slid his phone out of his pocket and nonchalantly typed out a quick message before returning it to his pocket. He looked at the kids, “and what are you staring at, exactly?”   
  
Akira’s phone buzzed, and Goro watched out of the corner of his eye as he checked it. He felt a satisfied smirk cross his face as the man’s face turned cherry red and his phone was hastily shoved back away.   
  
“We’re staring cause it’s so strange is all,” Jose replied, making Goro turn fully back towards him. “You never look so happy, papa.”   
  
“Father also looks more energetic than usual,” Justine added.   
  
“Are you guys dating?” Caroline asked bluntly.   
  
Now it was Goro’s turn to light up red. He looked down at his food, not wanting to meet anyone’s eye, and replied with a stuttering, “o-of course not.”   
  
“I uh, don’t think you kids should be so interested in this,” Akira said awkwardly.   
  
“That’s a yes,” Caroline said to Jose, cupping her hands like a whisper but failing to actually lower her voice at all.   
  
The boy giggled and picked up his juice, taking a sip. He smiled at Goro brightly, “I think it’s great! You both look so lonely sometimes, now you won’t be, right?”   
  
“I do not like you,” Justine stated simply, regarding Goro flatly.   
  
“Don’t smooch or whatever, it’s gross,” Caroline huffed, crossing her arms.   
  
Akira stood from his seat quickly, “Hey, you guys are about done, yeah? Let’s all go for a walk.”   
  
Goro quietly packed away his barely touched food, thinking a walk was also a good idea. Besides, good as it was, he was sure food that spicy would hurt his stomach later. They got everything packed away and ushered the children off towards the walking trail, hoping to kill any further questioning.   
  
Once they got walking, the kids forgot all about pestering them, taking a much greater interest in a frog Justine found. The two men stood back and watched as three toddlers chased after the poor thing, squealing and tripping over each other in their haste to catch the slippery amphibian.   
  
Akira nudged Goro with his elbow, “Hey. You gonna say anything about that text..?”   
  
Goro tipped his head slightly, “Hm? Oh. We still aren’t dating.”   
  
“N-no I mean-” Akira huffed and shook his head, “that’s fine, you want to make it a game then, huh? Well, I don’t lose often.”   
  
Goro smiled just a bit, a twinkle of a challenge in his eye, “I wouldn’t play if you were easy to best.”   
  
Akira grinned back at him, looking like an eager puppy. Goro couldn’t deny that it was a very cute look. The other man reached out and took his hand, startling Goro slightly.   
  
“A bold opening move,” Goro mumbled, squeezing Akira’s hand lightly.   
  
The afternoon went on like this, the two men playing their absurd game of subtly flirting when the children were distracted. A light touch to the side or a kiss to the back of the hand any time they thought they could get away with it. Goro even managed to sneak a few more somewhat inappropriate texts when Akira needed to help one of his girls get unstuck from a bush she’d fallen into.   
  
The group all had a nice walk, and came back to their cars nearly two hours later, when the kids finally started complaining that they were tired. Goro carried Jose in his arms on the way back, and watched in mild amusement as Akira picked up his two children, one under each arm, and carried them like luggage.   
  
Jose was already asleep in Goro’s arms by the time they got to their vehicles, and the twins were just giggling away, happy as could be over being swung around like heavy grocery bags.   
  
“I think you might want to invest in one of those double sided baby carriers for your gremlins,” Goro chuckled.   
  
Akira crouched down and dropped the girls, Caroline landing on her side and Justine landing in a frog squat of her own. Caroline scrambled to her feet and ran up to Goro, reaching up to tug on Jose’s pant leg, but Goro stopped her.   
  
“He fell asleep, and he’ll be in a very bad mood if you wake him up,” Goro explained.   
  
Caroline pouted up at him, “but I wanna say bye!”   
  
“You’ll see him tomorrow at Miss Ann’s, you wouldn’t want to upset your friend, right?”   
  
Caroline snorted out angrily, looking from Goro to the peacefully sleeping Jose. She crossed her arms and turned away, scrunching her little face down into her scarf. “Fine. But I’m mad at you now.”   
  
“Fair enough,” Goro replied, moving to get Jose settled in the back seat.   
  
Caroline spluttered, not seeming to know how to react to that, and just ran back to her dad. Akira shook his head and patted Caroline, “It’s alright sweetie, why don’t you just go ahead and get in the car with your sister?”   
  
Caroline grumbled angrily, stomping to the car and slamming the door behind her. Goro bumped his car door closed with his hip and turned to Akira, who had walked up to Goro’s car at some point.   
  
“Well, that wasn’t awful. I might even say it was enjoyable,” Goro told him.   
  
Akira fiddled with his bangs a minute before removing his ridiculous fake glasses. He looked Goro in the eye and replied, “I had fun too. But you know, we never said who won today.”   
  
Goro eyed him suspiciously, “I suppose we didn’t. And… how would you suggest we settle it..?”   
  
Akira grinned, “I was hoping you’d ask that.” Then he grabbed Goro’s arm and pulled him into a kiss.   
  
Goro gasped in surprise, tensing as he was pulled in, before melting the second lips touched his. Akira let go of him to instead wrap his arm around his waist, and Goro slid both of his arms around Akira, warmth blooming all along his body. Akira’s lips were chapped from the cold, but somehow felt so warm and soft against him. Goro’s heart was racing, and a part of him wanted to shove Akira away and run for it, but the rest of him felt such a deep, insatiable hunger for this closeness. He whined softly as Akira pulled away, feeling jittery and hot all over.   
  
Akira followed it up with a tender kiss to Goro’s knuckles, and very smoothly said, “I win, gorgeous.”   
  
Then he winked and strode away, leaving Goro a shaky, blushing mess next to his car.   
  
\---   
  
Goro walked into his house without a word, still red in the face as he briskly walked past Futaba, carrying Jose straight to bed. Futaba called out to him as he walked by, but he ignored her.   
  
After getting Jose tucked in, he walked to his kitchen, splashed some water on his face, and then just kind of stood there, leaning over the sink and watching the water stream down the drain.   
  
“How was your date?” Futaba snickered from the doorway, sounding almost _too_ knowing.   
  
“...Futaba, do you have my phone bugged again?” he asked slowly, not turning to face her.   
  
“I’m not seventeen anymore,” Futaba huffed, “and you misspelled ‘aesthetic’ in that second text.”   
  
Goro shoved his whole head under the running faucet.   
  
He could hear Futaba laughing over the gushing water, and before he knew it, he was being pulled free of his mini waterfall. 

Futaba draped a kitchen towel over his head and patted his back. "It's not _that_ big a deal, besides, I think it's charming how awkward and oblivious you are. You're a pretty classic tsundere otome option." 

Goro vigorously scrubbed his hair dry with the towel, still refusing I contact, "you know I don't understand your ridiculous jargon." 

Futaba snickered lightly, ducking down so she could peek under the towel and look him in the eye, "you're the socially inept dick that all the ladies fall for easiest."

Goro rolled his eyes and smacked the damp towel against her smug face, "Well, a shame I've no interest in them then." 

Futaba grabbed the damp towel and twirled it up, smacking him across the ass with it as he tried to walk by. He let out a sharp yelp and she just grinned at him, satisfied with her own tomfoolery. 

"Well, seems to me like you're pretty popular with the masochist gay dudes too. And you _are_ pretty into those." 

Goro grumbled quietly, stalking back to the living room to sit down. He crossed his arms and shook his head, "I've no idea what you're talking about, how would you even know that about Akira?" 

Futaba snorted, flopping into the couch and across her brother's lap. She fished her own phone out and held it up to him, to his utter dismay, he saw his own text conversation with Akira reflected back at him. 

"You'd have to be blind not to see it. Dude totally wants to get stepped on," she said matter of factly.

Goro flushed slightly. He wondered briefly if bold, confident Akira would actually enjoy someone else taking the lead. How would the bastard react if Goro kissed HIM out of the blue, instead of the other way around? The other man had won today, but Goro thought he might like this little game of theirs. He'd have to find some way to best Akira next time. 

\---

After a while of talking with Futaba and her helping him cook dinner, Goro finally settled into bed for the night. He noticed a few unread texts from Akira, and thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a look, maybe he’d even be extra nice and reply.  
  
[Akira] 8:30 PM   
ur more of a tease than i expected   
  
[Akira] 8:31 PM   
oh god that sounded really creepy didnt it im sorry   
  
[Akira] 8:34 PM   
uh, what i meant was that ur fun and i didnt think u could be forward like that. i hope i didnt go too far by kissing u like that, maybe i shouldve asked first, we were just competing and it felt so in line with the game..   
  
[Akira] 8:37 PM   
wow wheres the undo button on texts huh? uh, maybe ignore the last 3 and just.. today was fun. i like spending time with you and hope i didnt make you uncomfortable.   
  
[Goro] 9:13 PM   
I was spending time with my family, you train wreck. So stop worrying that you’ve scared me off. Trust me, if you’d gone too far, you'd be in the hospital recovering from stab wounds.   
  
[Akira] 9:15 PM   
fuck... good.   
  
[Akira] 9:16 PM   
I MEAN GOOD I DIDNT UPSET YOU   
  
[Goro] 9:19 PM   
Perhaps my sister was on to something when she said you were the type who likes to be stepped on. Tell me, Akira, is she right? Do you enjoy that sort of thing?   
  
[Goro] 9:20 PM   
Would you like it if I pushed you to the ground and pressed a heel to your throat?   
  
[Goro] 9:23 PM   
Or perhaps you’d enjoy it better if I held a knife to your chest while we kissed. You do seem to have quite a fixation with blades.   
  
[Goro] 9:25 PM   
Don’t be shy now, Akira.   
  
[Akira] 9:28 PM   
holy fuck   
  
[Goro] 9:29 PM   
Too much? My apologies. You’ve got me in an unusually frisky mood.   
  
[Akira] 9:32 PM   
not too much, just uh, wow. would u judge me if i said that i maybe did want something like that sometimes?   
  
[Goro] 9:35 PM   
Yes. <3   
  
[Goro] 9:35 PM   
The children will be at Ann’s daycare until five tomorrow evening, correct? You could always stop by for a proper visit. My sister will be out as well, so we could spend time together more freely.   
  
[Akira] 9:36 PM   
YES   
  
[Akira] 9:37 PM   
uhh, auto caps lock haha. ill stop by around 2 if that works   
  
[Goro] 9:39 PM   
I’ll be looking forward to it.   
  
[Goro] 9:40 PM   
You utter dumpster fire of a man.   
  
Goro hummed softly to himself, switching to his message tab with Futaba, where he had already received a handful of messages from her in the past ten minutes or so.   
  
[Fufufu] 9:24 PM   
IM BEGGING YOU TO STOP MY EYES ARE BLEEDING AAAAAAA   
  
[Fufufu] 9:30 PM   
APOLOGIZE TO ME, NOT HIM!!!   
  
[Fufufu] 9:37 PM   
Okay FINE I’ll go plan lunch with Sumire or something! Just NEVER make me read your filthy kink shit with my poor virgin eyes ever again!!   
  
[Goro] 9:45 PM   
You could easily resolve the problem by removing your spyware, you know.   
  
[Fufufu] 9:47 PM   
And risk missing out on some juicy secret?? Neveerr!   
  
[Goro] 9:49 PM   
Do not complain to me if Akira and I begin exchanging more than just _words_ .   
  
[Fufufu] 9:50 PM   
AUGH!! I’LL THINK ABOUT REMOVING IT!! GOODNIGHT!   
  
[Goro] 9:51 PM   
<3   
  
Goro actually heard the sharp yelp from the other room, and chuckled softly under his breath. He highly doubted he’d ever exchange images over the phone like that, but threatening Futaba with it was certainly worth the reaction. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting to happen when Akira came over tomorrow, and his heart was racing just thinking of the possibilities, but… he was certain that he was looking forward to it.   
  
\---   
  
Goro woke up at the pleasant hour of seven, the sun barely having risen on this wonderful Saturday, to the sound of his phone aggressively trying to wake him. The incessant ring was the ear grating tone he’d set for his book agent, a jingle he both hated and knew he couldn’t ignore. He grimaced, grabbing his phone and answering with a groggy, “hello?”   
  
“Don’t ‘hello’ me, Goro! It’s been five months. I think I’ve been as patient as I can with you here, but the publishers are getting pushy. PLEASE tell me you have something. I need chapters, I don’t care how rough they are!” a panicked older woman scolded him over the phone, clearly trying her best not to sound as irritated as she felt.   
  
Goro couldn’t blame her, she _had_ been more than reasonable with him. It wasn’t her fault that he had an emotional breakdown every time he tried to tackle his book, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to tell her. He rubbed his eyes, trying hard to wake up properly as he stumbled for some reasonable excuse, “Um, yes, chapters of course… I… when do you need them by?”   
  
“Preferably? Yesterday. But I’m willing to give you until Saturday to turn something in,” she said sharply.   
  
Goro’s heart leapt into his mouth. He only had a week..? He was about to ask her if she was certain it had to be so soon, but she barrelled right on, answering his unasked question. “You’re going to land both of us in a lot of hot water if you violate your contract, Goro. You have a kid, I have kids, neither of us can handle a lawsuit. So PLEASE get me something tangible by next weekend.”   
  
He pushed himself out of bed, barely having formed a syllable of “how much” when she, ever the professional, answered that as well. “I don’t care if it’s a full manuscript or a bunch of loose papers with a rambling stream of consciousness on it. I just need to show the publishers you’re working. And you ARE working, aren’t you?”   
  
Goro felt like his throat was too dry, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and he let out a sharp cough. He ran a hand through his hair hastily, “I uh, mm… of course I am. I’m in my study working on the book nearly every day.”   
  
“Then you won’t have a problem sending me a chunk of progress by next Saturday.” She was clearly not asking.   
  
Goro bowed his head, “No, Nadia, I won’t have a problem.” He hesitated, thinking about what Ann had suggested to him days prior. “I ah, have one small question-”   
  
“How do I put up with you? Whiskey. A lot of whiskey, Goro.”   
  
Goro let out a weak laugh. He couldn’t bring himself to bring it up. How would he even go about that? He was already going to send this woman to an early grave from stress, he couldn’t just ask about changing courses so late like this. “Haha, well, hopefully the paycheck makes up for some of the stress.”   
  
“I wouldn’t work with you if it didn’t,” Nadia replied simply. “I look forward to seeing your work next week. Have a good day, Goro.”   
  
“... have a pleasant weekend, Nadia,” Goro mumbled. He hung up the phone and sat back down on the edge of his bed. He could feel a headache coming on.   
  
Maybe he should text Akira and tell him nevermind about coming over? But, no, Goro knew it wouldn’t matter if he had all the time in the world, he wasn’t anywhere close to getting his book done. He couldn’t approach it, couldn’t even try. He always just ended up blacking out from stress and waking up to a word document full of scathing insults. It was wearing him down in a way nothing else he could recall ever had, the guilt of his past eating away at him worse than it had since he was actually in the thick of committing his awful crimes.   
  
He let out a long, shaky sigh, entirely lost on what to do. He had a week, and if he broke contract, the publishing company could cause all kinds of problems for him. He couldn’t risk losing his financial security, not when Jose was relying on him. God, he was getting another damn migraine.   
  
He forced himself up and went to make breakfast; he should at least get ready for the day and make sure Jose had food. He’d just try to calm down and relax. He needed to blow off some steam, visiting with Akira was exactly what he needed. And then maybe tonight, when Futaba got home, he could ask for her input. Perhaps she could help him write, or maybe hack into the publishing house and delete his contract or something. He had no idea, but he knew stressing over it right this second wasn’t going to do any good.   
  
\---   
  
Goro got Jose dropped off at Ann’s and managed to calm himself with some boba from a nearby shop. It was nearly two in the afternoon, and he sat on his living room couch, blowing bubbles mindlessly into the remnants of his drink as he stared at the tv. He was watching an old featherman VHS tape from his collection, indulging in his old favorite cartoon was often relaxing for him. He was so distracted that he had forgotten almost entirely what time it was, and was startled by a text from Akira asking Goro let him inside.   
  
Goro hurriedly turned off the tv and scurried to the door. He hesitated, looking down at himself. Due to his forgetfulness, he was in no state for company. He was wearing comfy, stretchy exercise shorts and a loose t-shirt from his jog earlier, and his hair was still in a loose ponytail. Goro patted his legs, then tugged at his shirt, then awkwardly called through the door, “I-I need a moment to get ready.”   
  
“For what? Aren’t we just hanging out?” Akira asked through the door, sounding mildly amused.   
  
Goro turned pink. He knew Akira was right, but he still felt awkward not being properly dressed up around other people. The t-shirt had stains and his shorts were snug, showing a good amount of his uncomfortably scarred thighs. He cracked the door open, avoiding eye contact as he mumbled, “you’d better not laugh at me.”   
  
Akira’s eyebrows raised as his eyes swept over Goro, taking in his appearance quickly. He didn’t look like he was judging Goro, if anything he looked almost embarrassed. That’s when Goro realized that his shirt was just long enough to make it look like he wasn’t wearing pants at all. He flushed a deep red and took a step back, opening the door further.   
  
Goro lifted the front of his shirt enough to show that he was, in fact, NOT pantless, “...I’m wearing exercise shorts, you can stop gawking.”   
  
Akira cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses, walking quickly inside. “Uh, y-yeah of course. Sorry, I know you said you weren’t dressed I just… I’ve always seen you in nice coats and sweater vests, so this is-”   
  
“I know, I look a mess,” Goro sighed. He walked to the tv, bending down to eject the tape and put it away. He supposed he could just say Jose had been watching TV last, but he didn’t want to risk it.   
  
He heard Akira let out a heavy breath, like the man had just been punched in the gut, and when he glanced over his shoulder, Akira was awkwardly looking away from him. “N-no it’s not that, you look fine.”   
  
Goro raised an eyebrow, questioning, and turned back to his tv stand, putting the tape back in the cupboard, “Well, I know I invited you over, but I’m afraid I don’t spend time with many people, so I’m not too sure what you’re interested in doing.”   
  
“I feel like if I answered that honestly, you’d kick me back out,” Akira mumbled, barely loud enough for Goro to hear.   
  
Goro stood up straight, putting his hands on his hips. His heart was suddenly skipping again, pounding against his ribs in a way that made his chest feel too tight. “You’re entirely shameless.”   
  
“I thought we’d established that,” Akira replied, fiddling with his bangs and giving a teasing little smirk.   
  
The man took a step towards Goro and rested a hand on Goro’s arm, and Goro instantly tensed. He wasn’t used to these kinds of advances, and he was even less used to kind touches. He startled easily when he wasn’t the one initiating contact. Seeming to pick up on Goro’s instant unease, Akira quickly removed his hand, looking sheepish.   
  
“Sorry, I uh, I thought, from your texts-”   
  
“Don’t apologize,” Goro said stiffly, “I’m just unused to this sort of thing.”   
  
It was pretty absurd, Goro thought, that such a simple thing made him uneasy. He had to get over this anxiety so he could just enjoy himself. He _wanted_ this kind of attention from Akira, he just… had to make his heart and head cooperate with each other.   
  
Akira smiled sympathetically, making Goro feel another pang of embarrassed guilt. The raven haired man took off his fake glasses and slid them into his pocket, “Well, I’m not _just_ interested in that, you know. Why don’t we make lunch and just watch a movie or something? I’d love to get to know you better, especially since I kind of info-dumped my whole past on you the other day.”   
  
Goro’s shoulders relaxed and he nodded, “alright. I suppose that’s fair. Though don’t expect much in the way of food, I still can’t cook.”   
  
Akira laughed lightly and headed towards the kitchen, “If you’re alright with me using your food, I can cook us some lunch. What kind of food do you like? I never see you eating much, so it’s hard to know.”   
  
Goro shifted a bit before following Akira into the kitchen. The truth was that he didn’t particularly care for any food; he ate because he’d pass out if he didn’t, it was as simple as that. It was a pretty depressing, personal answer though, so instead Goro just replied, “If you can find anything you think you can make a decent meal with, feel free. I’m not particularly picky.”   
  
Akira opened his fridge and began rooting around, “That so? You seem like a picky person to me. But alright, what _don’t_ you like? That way I won’t make something you hate.”   
  
Goro looked down at the kitchen tiles. He was still feeling off from this morning, and while he’d managed a bowl of miso soup earlier, his stomach was still in knots. He doubted he’d eat whatever Akira made regardless, he just couldn’t work up an appetite right now. “...I don’t like things too spicy or sweet, I suppose.”   
  
Akira nodded, “Alright, I won’t go overboard then. Sorry about the curry, if that’s the case.”   
  
“It was delicious, even if it was a bit much for my spice tolerance,” Goro replied.   
  
“You didn’t really eat that either, huh?” Akira noted, “Though if you don’t like spice, I guess that makes sense. But you weren’t eating at Sumire’s party either, were you?”   
  
“I had some cake,” Goro replied, disliking where Akira was going with this.   
  
The other man walked to Goro’s stove, some ingredients in hand, “I swore I just saw you cutting up a piece of cake into smaller bits, and not actually eating any of it. I guess that’s not really my business though.”   
  
“You’re right. It isn’t,” Goro said coldly.   
  
“...Sumire told me some things after her party,” Akira said, voice suddenly seeming softer, almost concerned, “I think she worries about you a lot. She apologized for you too, for your behavior. Well, not _yours,_ but you know.”   
  
Goro’s brow furrowed and he leaned against the doorframe, “No, I don’t know. What do you mean not _my_ behavior?”   
  
Akira looked back at Goro, a puzzled look on his face, before turning back to the stove, “I guess it doesn’t matter right now. Just uh, ask Sumire, I guess?”   
  
Goro huffed, thinking about how jumpy and strange Sumire acted around him half the time, almost as though she was never sure she was actually talking to him for a minute each time they spoke. “She always acts like that, but she never tells me why. If you know something I don’t-”   
  
“I guess I must,” Akira cut him off, “But I wouldn’t worry about it right now, let’s just eat and relax a bit, you seem stressed.”   
  
Goro couldn’t argue with that. The whole point of this visit had been for him to try and relax, after all. He sighed and filed it away among the many, many other things he needed to confront later. For the time being he just sat down at the table, watching Akira work.   
  
The two ended up falling into idle chat, discussing things like book and movie tastes, though Goro did avoid mentioning his fondness for children’s cartoons. He was surprised to hear Akira knew shogi, not thinking he seemed like the type. They were still discussing the game as Akira set down a plate of wonderful smelling pasta in front of Goro.   
  
“A woman I knew from Shibuya taught me. We’d meet in secret sometimes, just so we could get a nice break from our oppressive families,” Akira explained.   
  
Goro nodded, finding himself actually somewhat hungry with the smell of alfredo pasta in the air. “I see. I suppose that makes sense. I know some shogi, but truthfully I prefer chess. It was the only game the local library had that the other children didn’t hog.”   
  
Akira sat opposite him with a plate of his own, “Sumire has a chess board, right? She asked if I wanted to play the other day, but as I’m sure you noticed at the park, I’m pretty amateurish. It’s similar to shogi, but there’s still a lot of differences.”   
  
Goro perked up, a challenging glint in his eye, “Would you care to try another match? I have a lovely set, perhaps I could even show you a few tricks.”   
  
Akira twirled some pasta on his fork, humming in thought, “I might enjoy that. You aren’t planning on going easy on a beginner though, are you..?”   
  
Goro smiled coyly and took a bite of his food, saying nothing.   
  
The two ate and chatted for a while, Goro finding himself actually relaxing enough to eat nearly half his plate. Of course, it helped that Akira was such an amazing cook. He wondered if it might be food Jose would enjoy, it was certainly better than anything Goro could offer him.   
  
After cleaning up and putting up the leftovers, Goro led Akira back to the living room, then pulled a chess set out of the coat closet and set it up on the coffee table. Akira was just quietly watching Goro the whole time he walked around, not feeling the need to fill the air with empty words. Goro liked that about Akira. Idiotic as the man could be, he was still content to sit in silence and just be. It was refreshing.   
  
Goro hummed softly as he set up the board, clicking each wooden piece in place. He found his heart and stomach had both settled considerably, and he was actually enjoying himself. He had never imagined himself sitting across the table from the man who had nearly stolen his wallet, content with his company while the other observed him with those keen grey eyes, but here they were.   
  
“You’re so breathtaking,” Akira said suddenly, spoken into the quiet like it had slipped out of his brain instead of off his lips.   
  
Goro stilled, fingers poised over a queen piece, heart leaping again. He cleared his throat and sat back, nudging the last piece in place. “...you’re so confusing at times.”   
  
“I mean it,” Akira said, leaning forward to rest his chin on his palm. He opened by moving a knight. “You seem like the kind of guy who tries really hard to project a certain image, but I think I like this the best.”   
  
Goro moved a pawn in turn, looking up to see Akira’s eyes mostly obscured by his bangs. “And what, may I ask, do you mean by ‘this’?”   
  
Akira smiled against his palm, moving another piece, “you know, just, how you are. You act so stiff and prim in public, but that’s not how you are at all. Knocking the hot drink out of some white bitch’s hands, pushing me out of a car, acting mad when someone shows interest because you aren’t sure how else to respond… that stuff is you. Right?”   
  
Goro was silent as he moved another piece. Akira continued on. “I mean hey, maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know you that well. But… I sure like what I’ve seen so far.”   
  
Goro adjusted where he was sitting on the floor, shifting to rest back against his hands. He looked up at Akira, the careful way he sat on the edge of the couch, knees together, posture drawn in, eyes still hidden.   
  
“Suppose you’re right,” Goro began. “You seem to think you have some right to get to know me,” the brunette shifted again, moving to sit in the awkward squat his sister used so frequently. He captured one of Akira’s pieces. “And yet, for all your talk, for the tidbit of your past you’ve divulged, I actually know very little about you.”   
  
Akira thought that over, staring at the space where his piece had just been. He moved another piece too hastily, leaving himself open to attack. “I don’t think either of us are very open people.”   
  
Goro smirked, “You think you’re something special, prying under my defenses to what you perceive as the ‘real me’. But don’t forget this game goes two ways. You’re nothing special. You won’t sweep me off my feet like some magical fairy tale.” He moved his queen and tapped the piece lightly, “I recognize a hero complex when I see one, and I’m no one’s damsel. Check.”   
  
Akira let out a breathless laugh, running a hand through his hair, pushing his bangs out of his face to reveal his glittering eyes. “Maybe you’ve got me more figured out than I thought. I tend to be drawn to people who need help, or maybe I seek it out, who knows?”   
  
“What will you do if I tell you I’m not looking for your help, then?”   
  
“What are you looking for?” Akira replied instantly, eyes snapping to Goro’s. It was like the man couldn’t think of any other feasible reason someone might seek him out. It was almost pitiable.   
  
Goro stood, chess suddenly at the back of his mind, and moved to sit next to Akira on the couch. “What I’m looking for..? An equal. I suppose. A challenge, someone who won’t shy away from my… brasher side.”   
  
“And… what if I insist on helping you anyway?” Akira pondered, shifting a bit closer.   
  
Goro rested a hand on his knee, “I suppose, perhaps I could accept it. So long as you accept my help with your horrendous parenting.”   
  
Akira snickered quietly at that, moving to place his hand over Goro’s. “You’re so cruel.”   
  
“You’re such a doormat,” Goro replied easily, leaning in until their foreheads pressed together.   
  
There was a beat of silence, and then Akira murmured, barely audible, “can I kiss you?”   
  
Goro exhaled sharply through his nose and pushed Akira back against the couch. He climbed atop the man, straddling his waist and cupping his face with both hands, pressing their lips together. Akira’s hands quickly found their way to Goro’s hips, and Goro felt his heart start to race again.   
  
Things started out slow, but it was clear neither man was satisfied with just a few kisses, and neither seemed to want to concede the dominant position either. Things quickly grew more heated, and Goro could barely keep up with the onslaught of sensation.   
  
There were hands on his ass, squeezing gently, and he rocked back into the touch, panting as his whole body lit up, electrified at the end of every nerve. He hadn't been touched like this in years, he hadn’t thought he wanted this kind of thing anymore, didn't think he needed it. But _god_ if Akira wasn't proving that wrong. He was an oasis and Goro was a man lost in the desert, starved and dehydrated beyond belief.

Akira slid his hands up, one hand at the nape of his neck as the other rested on the small of his back. And just then Goro remembered what Ann had divulged. He stiffened, letting out a strangled sound as Akira latched onto his neck, sinking blunt teeth right into the junction at his collar. Goro melted against him, trembling harshly as the other man lavished him in affection, licking and biting all along his neck, up his jaw, pulling down his shirt to mark his collar. Goro could hardly breathe, and he was tearing up from how much this all was. He felt like a live wire, he needed it to slow down, but never wanted it to stop.

Akira pulled back after a good couple minutes, and Goro felt hands on his face. He looked down at the other, teary eyed and shaking, and realized Akira looked worried. "I-I'm sorry, I went too far, didn't I?"

Goro made a small, breathy sound, closing his eyes as he tried to regain his senses. He couldn't find his words, and simply shook his head. Akira was _good_ at this, it wasn't too far. Even if his body protested, he needed this desperately.

"Too fast, then?" Akira suggested, and Goro felt a hand rubbing his back.

Goro rested his forehead against Akira's shoulder, finally finding his voice, "why'd...why'd you stop..?"

Akira slowly pushed the other man back, meeting his eyes with a look of such deep, genuine concern, "You look terrified."

Goro blinked slowly, feeling the tears painting his cheeks. "I..mm... of course I'm not. Don't be stupid."

"You're shaking so bad-"

"Well I would've said something if I was upset, wouldn't I?!" Goro snapped. "It's NOT too much, and I'm a normal person who can tolerate a normal level of intimacy!" 

Akira held both hands up defensively, eyes wide.

Goro pushed himself off of the other man and pressed himself into the corner of the couch, knees to his chest, "...maybe you should just go."

Akira slowly pushed himself into a sitting position, "I... I just wanted you to be comfortable, Goro-"

"LEAVE!"

Goro could feel himself starting to panic now that the thrill had worn off, and he couldn't let anyone see him like this. He hated himself so damn much, he had _just_ finished spouting all that bullshit about not wanting or needing help. He just wanted to fool around with a witty, attractive man, why did his body have to betray him like this?

Akira looked hesitant, even with Goro acting so volatile. He raised a hand again, then lowered it, seeming to try and figure out what to do. Goro looked away, fighting to keep his breathing steady, "Get out. Get out _now._ I don't want you here anymore."

"You're clearly having a panic attack, I can't just leave you-"

"I TOLD YOU I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP!" Goro yelled, throwing a couch cushion at Akira before booking it into a different room. The closest was his office, which he locked himself in. He made his way to a familiar spot, curling up under his desk to ride out the episode, praying Akira would just cut his losses and hopefully never speak to him again. He was hopeless, completely fucking worthless. He still couldn't breathe, he felt like his chest was going to explode. Why, WHY did he think this would be a good idea? He barely even KNEW this man, was he really so desperate that he was ready to throw himself at the first interesting man he met?

He heard a knock on his office door and ignored it. He just curled up tighter, wondering why the hell Akira couldn't take a hint and get lost. He closed his eyes, continuing to tune out the sounds of knocking and worried words. Maybe if he tuned it out hard enough, he could just fall asleep like this, and when he woke up, the other would be gone, and he wouldn't feel like garbage.

Unfortunately, Akira was stubborn, and Goro heard the worst possible thing no more than twenty minutes later.

"I came as fast as I could, did he lock it?"

 _Sumire_.

The door clicked moments later, and two pairs of footsteps walked in. Goro felt like a child throwing a fit, hiding under his desk like this. And where the fuck did Sumire get a key to his office? He sure as hell hadn't given her one. He hoped they'd be stupid and assume he'd jumped out the nearby window or something, but no luck. Firm hands grabbed his ankles, and he groaned as Sumire effortlessly dragged him out of his little alcove.

"Goro?" she asked, like she suddenly wasn't sure who he was or something.

"Why the fuck did you leave work," Goro hissed, "I thought I told you to stop doing that."

"And I told you to get a therapist," Sumire replied, voice stern. As stern as someone like her could manage, at least.

Akira was also evidently still there, as Goro felt a second pair of arms under his own, and the man said, "You're sure about this, Sumi?"

"Trust me," she sighed, hoisting Goro's legs up. 

He gave a half-hearted hiss as they both carried him out of his office, bringing him to his bed like he really was some kind of belligerent child. They set him down, Akira more gently, Sumire just kind of throwing his legs down. She crossed her arms, glaring at him, and he looked away from her. 

"You're setting an _awful_ example for Jose like this," Sumire scolded.

"I don't want to be upset-"

"Not THAT!" Sumire sounded angrier than Goro thought her capable of. It actually made him look back up at her. Her face was set, crossed arms trembling as she fought to remain composed. "If you keep bottling all this mess up, what do you think Jose is gonna learn, huh? You think he doesn't notice? You think he doesn't ask me why I can't help you be happy again?! I don't know what the heck your deal is lately, but you have got to TALK to someone! I don't care if it's me, Ann, Akira, or a dang therapist, but you can't keep doing this!"

Goro was silent, wide-eyed, and feeling more than a little embarrassed that Akira was witnessing this. Sumire paused to take a breath, resting her hands on her hips. She looked like she was ready to lose it.

She looked Goro in the eye, her own filled with anger and deep concern, "I need to go back to work. Goro, take this seriously. You might think you're doing a good job keeping this to yourself, but you're really not. And if you keep getting worse, they _will_ take Jose away. No one wants that. So for once in your life, get some _help,_ please."

And then, just like that, she left. Leaving Akira alone with Goro again. Goro felt cold all over. His chest hurt, and suddenly his only thought was that he could potentially lose his son. Jose was _his._ He'd worked so hard to get to the point where he'd be able to provide for a child, and Jose was his family now, he loved him more than anything. He couldn’t lose that, he just _couldn’t_.

Akira very slowly sat on the edge of the bed, like he didn't want to startle Goro into running again. "... are you okay?"

Goro felt cornered. He was out of options. He shook his head, and, unable to string together any kind of rational thought beyond the fact his son was in trouble, he started crying. He felt so vulnerable and stupid, the stress was overwhelming, and he could feel all of it crashing into him at once. The weight of his looming deadline, a deadline for a book he couldn’t even write without ruining his mental state. The episodes he kept having, the fact Jose seemed more worried about him, everything Sumire had just said, and Akira was still fucking _here._ This man he’d known for less than a month, sitting on the edge of his bed just watching him completely lose it.   
  
Goro suddenly felt sick. He bolted up off the bed and ran to the attached bathroom, throwing up the wonderful lunch Akira had so thoughtfully prepared for him. He sank to the floor, hugging the toilet bowl, resting his cheek on the porcelain with a soft groan.   
  
“...I know you said you didn’t want my help, but-”   
  
“Why are you still here?” Goro asked wearily, so incredibly, deeply, bone tired. He didn’t have anything left. His panic had been exhausted, and Akira had now seen so much that Goro was beyond the point of feeling shame.   
  
“Because…” Akira walked into the bathroom, wetting a rag before offering it to Goro from a slight distance. “What kind of person would I be to just leave you like this?”   
  
Goro quietly took the rag, wiping his mouth and continuing to avoid looking at the other man. “...maybe I do need help. But I don’t need it from you.”   
  
“You’re right,” Akira replied, “You clearly need therapy.”   
  
“Harsh. But fair,” Goro sighed.   
  
“I’m not trying to be,” Akira defended, moving a little closer, offering Goro a hand up. “But if everything Sumire said is true, and with what I’ve noticed on my own… I think you have some serious problems, Goro.”   
  
Goro sighed heavily, accepting Akira’s hand up. He felt shaky on his feet, however, and fell straight back to the floor. He didn’t bother trying to pick himself up. He was empty, there was no point. He felt strong arms under his again, and Akira hoisted him back up. Goro, not wanting to be more of a burden than he already was, tried to stabilize himself against the ground.   
  
“I know I have problems,” Goro mumbled, “this date’s going wonderfully.”   
  
Akira had the audacity to laugh at that, a soft, breathy sound against his ear. He helped Goro back to the bed, and the brunette collapsed straight onto it. Goro rolled onto his back and forced himself to look up at Akira.   
  
“...I’m sorry.”   
  
Akira sat back on the edge of Goro’s bed, resting a hand on his. “What the hell are you sorry for? You’re the one clearly going through something here.”   
  
Goro glared up at his ceiling, pulling his hand away from Akira. He didn’t deserve kindness right now. “You don’t even know me, and I’ve made you deal with this huge mess. And after I explicitly said you wouldn’t need to help me… it’s shameful.”   
  
“You’re human, Goro, there’s nothing wrong with that,” Akira insisted.   
  
Goro sighed and rolled onto his side, facing away from Akira. “...I don’t want to burden anyone with my petty issues. I want you to leave because you have more than enough problems of your own to deal with, not because I think you’re wrong. Understood?”   
  
Akira sighed softly, “Yeah, I understand perfectly. Still not leaving.”   
  
Goro remained silent. Arguing clearly wouldn’t work, and running got him nowhere, he couldn’t think of anything else to make the man give up and go. Akira had a way around this idea too, however, simply saying, “if you don’t talk to me, I’ll call Sumire back here.”   
  
Goro quickly rolled back to face him, shooting him a tired glare. “That’s low.”   
  
Akira smiled at him, like he was trying to hide his concern with the gently teasing look. “Hey, how’s this? You talk to me a little, and I’ll let you help with my problems too. You said you wanted an equal, right? Well that’s equal, isn’t it?”   
  
Goro sighed heavily, “you clearly aren’t giving up, so I suppose I agree. I certainly wouldn’t mind helping you in some way if possible, so, fine.”   
  
Akira nodded, “good. I’m going to make sure you actually follow through and visit a therapist then.”   
  
Goro pushed himself up on his elbows, “...I need to, don’t I? Can I admit something to you?”   
  
Akira nodded, and Goro sighed softly. “I’m scared. Akira, I’ve dealt with so much in my pathetic life, but I’ve never had to live that life for anyone other than myself.”   
  
Goro pushed himself upright, only to slump against Akira’s side. “I feel like a bad father. I’m worried I’m ruining Jose’s life, and what Sumire said… I can’t lose him. I just can’t. I don’t know how to fix myself, I don’t even know where to start, but I’m more utterly terrified of losing my son than I think I ever have been of anything else.”   
  
Akira wrapped an arm around Goro, and the man let him. He turned his face against Akira’s side, muffled as he continued on, seemingly unable to stop now that he’d started. “It took me until I was in my thirties to finally make a family of my own, what if I lose it all again?”   
  
Akira pulled Goro into a proper hug, squeezing him close. “If you accept help, you won’t lose anything.”   
  
Goro let out a shaky breath, “I don’t deserve this.”   
  
“Everyone has to deal with their own kinds of-”   
  
“I don’t deserve the kindness I’m surrounded with,” Goro elaborated.   
  
Akira squeezed him tighter, “you don’t have to tell me, but I wonder what you’ve gone through to make someone as smart as you think something that insanely stupid.”   
  
Goro laughed weakly against him, “Saying it out loud, it is a little stupid, isn’t it?”   
  
“Maybe you’re the real idiot here after all,” Akira agreed, humming softly.   
  
Goro pushed himself back a bit, looking Akira in the eye, “Akira… I lied before, when I said you weren’t special. I won’t repeat this, so you’d best listen good.”   
  
He kissed Akira’s cheek and hugged him around the neck, pressing himself close. “I didn’t want your help at all, but, I’m grateful to have received it anyway. Thank you.”


	5. The Blanket of Night

Goro took a deep, steadying breath, taking in the decor of the office he sat in. Plants sat around the waiting area, and calming music played over a speaker propped up in the corner of the ceiling. There were paintings of landscapes hanging around, and Goro was trying very hard not to make eye contact with the one other person in the waiting area.  
  
There was a stand filled with pamphlets next to the seats, many of which were touting meditation and relaxation methods. Goro found it ironic that he’d feel so tense in a place literally built to help people relax. A woman opened the door to the back rooms, and Goro just about had a panic attack when she said his name.  
  
He awkwardly stood up, approached the woman who, in heels, stood almost level with him. She had dark skin, black hair held back with a bright ribbon that reminded him of Sumire, and a reassuring, almost motherly smile.  
  
“Good afternoon,” she greeted, “I’m Rose, are you ready to come back?”  
  
Goro rubbed his arm awkwardly, trying hard to look calmer than he felt. “Y-yes, I believe so. Thank you.”  
  
“It’s alright to be nervous,” she said, guiding him down a hall and into a small, cozy room.  
  
There were some nice abstract paintings on the wall that reminded Goro vaguely of the artist who worked at Ann’s daycare, and the armchair he sat in was soft and comfortable. The woman sat in an armchair opposite him and grabbed a clipboard. She motioned to the table next to them, where a few water bottles sat.  
  
“Feel free to take one if you’re thirsty. Is this your first time seeing a counselor?” Rose asked.  
  
Goro stiffly took a water bottle, holding it in his lap and nervously thumbing over the label. “It is. I ah… don’t really know how to approach this.”  
  
“That’s alright, why don’t we just start with why you’re here? What are you struggling with that you’d like to tackle?”  
  
Her words were soft, reassuring, and shouldn’t have been a stress at all, but Goro felt his heart rate spike. He hadn’t actually thought about what he’d have to talk about here. Would his past come up? It would have to, wouldn’t it? Could she get him arrested? Would it be suspicious if he asked her about it? He took a deep, shaky breath.  
  
“... What if... hypothetically, many of my issues stem from less than legal work I took part in as a minor,” Goro picked his words carefully, not wanting to wind up with the police called on him.  
  
She frowned in thought, brow furrowing, but somehow didn’t look worried. “A lot of people did things they aren’t proud of in the past. I can’t and won’t report anything that isn’t an immediate threat to you or those around you. You could confess to a drug addiction, and I wouldn’t report you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”  
  
Goro let out a small breath, not really feeling that much less tense. Drugs were one thing, but this..? Even if he wasn’t a danger anymore, even if it happened over a decade ago, he was suddenly not so sure about this. He could feel the beginning of a headache, and his chest felt tight.  
  
“I’m sorry, I-I think maybe I made a mistake, I should have thought this through better.” He stood from his seat and reflexively bowed, just wanting to get out of there before panic set in. He had promised he’d do this, he’d promised so many people, but there were so many factors he hadn’t considered. He couldn’t do this, even if he wouldn’t get in legal trouble by some miracle, how could he _possibly_ explain his harrowing past as a fucking _teenage hitman?_  
  
Rose reached out, and the second her fingers brushed his wrist he jumped back, knocking into the table and knocking all the water bottles over. He started trembling, he’d made a mistake, he always got in trouble for mistakes, he was such a failure.  
  
“Sorry, I’m sorry-” he knelt down and began picking the bottles up, shakily setting them back on the table. He could feel himself starting to tear up, this was so fucking stupid. He could barely breathe, why had he thought this would help?  
  
“Why don’t you sit back down?” Rose suggested calmly, not making a move to stand or reach out to him, “You seem to be under a lot of stress, it’s alright, you can express those emotions here without judgement.”  
  
Goro shook his head. A grown man shouldn’t be acting like a frightened child, and in front of a stranger no less. “I’m so pathetic,” he found himself saying.  
  
“Why do you think that? You haven’t done anything wrong,” Rose assured him.  
  
Goro tensed, squeezing the bottle still in his hands. Nothing wrong..? His life was a string of endless wrongs all piling atop each other like a wobbling tower that threatened to fall and crush him beneath its weight. He stood quickly, not turning back to her. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”  
  
He could feel the edges of his vision swimming, he needed to get home, he needed to hide, to find somewhere to be alone and get through this nonsense. He needed to get a grip. Maybe if he just took some time, wrote down some reasonable, more legal excuse for his trauma, he could just try again…  
  
“Goro, can you tell me why you feel such a strong urge to run when your emotions overwhelm you?” Rose asked. She was looking at him, turned awkwardly in her seat to try and maintain eye contact. He looked back at her, his whole body felt like tv static. He put a hand to his head, the pressure building into a sharp pain. He screwed one eye shut, stumbling slightly. He reached out, going to brace himself against the table, and then-  
  
\---  
  
When Goro regained consciousness, he was sitting in the seat across from the therapist, one leg over the other, a half empty bottle in his hands. He blinked slowly, feeling incredibly disoriented. Rose was looking at him almost expectantly.  
  
He looked around, somewhat scared, and hesitantly asked, “did I… black out again?”  
  
She nodded once, then wrote something on her clipboard. “Goro… why don’t you go ahead and tell me how much of the last hour you remember?”  
  
Goro looked at her, even more scared. “Hour..? N-none of it. Did I say something strange? This has been happening so frequently lately, I think it’s just the stress making me black out like that, but I can never seem to recall-”  
  
“Goro,” Rose said, her tone causing him to fall quiet. She looked somewhat surprised, but otherwise didn’t indicate any level of concern. “You aren’t aware of your condition at all, are you..?”  
  
Goro shifted in the seat, heart rate spiking again. “N... what condition? I’m aware I black out. Did I say something concerning while I was out?”  
  
Rose shook her head, “Nothing concerning. It makes a lot more sense, though. Goro, know that this isn’t a bad or negative thing I’m about to tell you, alright?”  
  
Goro nodded slowly, anxiety growing anyway.  
  
She handed him a piece of paper and said with as much care as possible, “You have dissociative identity disorder. I spent the last hour speaking with two of your alters. One of them, the man, asked me if I would give this to you. It’s a message to help explain things a bit.”  
  
Goro blinked. He looked at the neatly folded paper, then back at Rose. The words weren’t quite processing. He shook his head a bit, eyebrows furrowing. “Dissociative..?” He’d heard of it, vaguely, but didn’t know much outside the split identity aspect. “Do you mean to tell me that when I black out… someone else takes over?”  
  
“In a way. That person is still a part of you, just… another aspect. A split results from trauma, usually in childhood, and multiple personalities, or alters, take turns carrying the burden that you couldn’t handle on your own. It’s nothing dangerous, and some people manage to coexist with their alters and live perfectly normal, full lives.”  
  
Goro’s hands were shaking. Nothing dangerous..? He was the dangerous one, or he had been, but who was to say the other aspects of him weren’t equally unstable? He unfolded the paper, seeing handwriting that wasn’t his own.  
  
‘Goro. It seemed important to you to get your problems fixed, so try staying through the session instead of being a little bitch. I didn’t appreciate having to make you take care of yourself. Again. Listen to the woman, she’s smart. And before you have a damn panic attack, ask Sumi chan to explain. Show her this note.’  
  
Goro blinked, reading it a few more times to really take it in. Sumi chan..? He had never called her that, but the therapist certainly wouldn’t have known who Sumire was, and she’d have no reason to play some cruel joke on him like this. He swallowed thickly, not sure how to even begin coping with this information.  
  
“Wh..who um, wrote this note?” he asked hesitantly.  
  
Rose stood from her seat, grabbing a binder stuffed with calendar pages, “He said his name was Loki. He told me about your past, and that you seemed worried about being arrested. Don’t worry, that’s far too old and complicated of a situation for me to report you to anyone.”  
  
Goro swallowed again, nodding slightly. How much had this… alter, told her? How much did alters know? Did they share all his memories? He certainly didn’t share all of theirs. He had so many questions, and why would this person inside him tell him to talk to Sumire? What did she know? Surely she wouldn’t have hidden something so incredibly serious from him this whole time-but-no. Her behavior, the strange way she regarded him after his blackouts, she _had_ known. How long? How many other people knew? And… why didn’t he?  
  
“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, this is a lot of information to cope with,” Rose said, “I was told to call your sister to come get you, so you won’t have to worry about driving home. Would you like to schedule an appointment with me again for next week? I can send you home with some reading material, and after you’ve had some time to process all of this, we can unpack it together.”  
  
Goro let out a breath. He wasn’t even sure when he’d started holding it. He folded the paper and stuck it in his pocket before quietly replying, “I think that would be good.”  
  
\---  
  
When Goro left the building, Futaba was indeed waiting for him, crouched in her trademark squat by the flowerbeds, humming to herself as she blatantly stole blossoms off a bush.  
  
“Stealing from a mental health facility? That seems immoral,” Goro joked, his voice still sounding empty.  
  
Futaba jumped to her feet, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes. “Goro! Are you okay? The lady on the phone told me what was going on and… man, you look exhausted.”  
  
Goro ran a hand through his hair, he felt like hundred pound weights were resting on his shoulders. “I am exhausted. And I’m not positive if I’m alright, if I’m being fully honest. Futaba… did you know, too?”  
  
Futaba looked somewhat guilty, and hurriedly picked up her bunch of stolen flowers, offering them out to him. “... I didn’t know how to bring it up. I wasn’t even sure you’d believe me, and it wasn’t like they were hurting anybody! They were helping you, that’s a good thing…”  
  
Goro sighed wearily, pushing the flowers back towards her, “who else knows?”  
  
Futaba shuffled from foot to foot, “I think… maybe we should bring you home.”  
  
Goro nodded, not pressing it further. He assumed she’d explain when they got back.  
  
The ride home was tense and silent, and Goro spent all of it with his head pressed to the window, countless questions circulating in his head. This was all so much, and he couldn’t believe not a single person in his life had ever told him. They'd all better have some damn good reasons for keeping this from him.  
  
When they got home, Goro collapsed on the couch, all the energy drained out of him. Futaba climbed up next to him, crouching instead of sitting properly, her own little defense mechanism. 

She twirled the ends of her hair and slowly started, “I didn’t meet them till a few years ago.”  
  
Goro ruffled up his hair, rubbing at his temples. “Years..?”  
  
“I know, it sounds super long, b-but they all seemed super insistent that you wouldn’t take it well if you found out about them! And I mean, one of them told me they’d been around since you were like, five, and you’d gone so long not knowing that telling you now might just be harmful. I... I didn’t know you super well yet, and with everything that went on with our dad, I thought that it might just be like… a little too much info, y’know?”  
  
She was talking a mile a minute, mouth running like an overheating computer. It made a lot of sense why she'd keep it from him then, but his head was spinning. All these years, since he was that little? How had he not known? And it came from trauma, Rose had said. He'd certainly experienced enough of that in his life, but for it to cause something this drastic..? 

Futaba made a soft hiccuping sound, drawing him back out of his running thoughts. Her fingers were trembling, and she looked on the brink of tears. “I just wanted t-to do the right thing, a-and I didn’t know what it was! They seemed so s-sure that it’d be better if you didn’t know, p-please don’t hate me…”  
  
Goro blinked, suddenly a bit more awake. “Hate you..?” he chuckled a bit, just enough energy left to find a little humor in the situation. “Futaba, I think you doing your best to make a tricky choice is certainly more forgivable than anything I’ve done in my entire life.”  
  
She looked at him, eyes watery. “R-really?”  
  
Goro sighed heavily, “Of course I’m upset, but I can’t blame you given the circumstances. I wonder if the others will say the same…" he paused, realizing that if his long distance relative knew, his close friends were even more likely to. 

He looked at her, feeling heavy all over again, "do they all know as well?”  
  
“I um, don’t think anybody ‘sides your close friends figured it out. Oh, and maybe Yusuke, but he’s weird and just kinda knows stuff, you know how he is. Uh, plus your alters pick up Jose from daycare pretty often, so um, that probably helped him piece it together.”  
  
Goro sat bolt upright, Jose not even having dawned on him yet. “Oh my god, Jose. Jose would know, he lives with me-what if I hurt him? Are these alter things nice to him? Am I a danger to my son?! Futaba, how have I been so horrible a parent this whole time?!”  
  
Futaba waved her hands frantically. “Woah woah calm down! It’s not like some movie disease or something! Nobody in that noggin is any more violent than you, and none of them love Jose any less either, got it?”  
  
Goro looked at her uncertainly, and she looked down sheepishly, saying, “He um, even told me how it was weird at first, but how he’s kinda used to having a buncha dads in one.”  
  
Goro sank back against the couch cushions, rubbing his eyes vigorously. His heart was still pounding, a risidual fear that he could have caused Jose some sort of harm lingering in his chest. “Even my child knew, and I never fucking caught on. What an embarrassment. At least I haven't scarred him… I hope.”  
  
Futaba reached out, giving him a comforting pat on the head. He sighed and looked back at her. “...I suppose I should call Sumire, shouldn’t I?”  
  
Futaba smiled at him sympathetically. “If you wanna take a nap first, that’s okay.”  
  
“No, I’d rather figure this out first. I’ll sleep after I better understand everything,” Goro replied. “May I ask you a favor, though?”  
  
“Whatever you need, brobro!”  
  
“I need you to not call me that,” Goro snorted, “but also, if you wouldn’t mind picking Jose up from school today? I want to go speak to Sumire and Ann separately, and wait until I’ve settled down a bit before I talk to him. The last thing I want to do is get too overwhelmed when talking to Jose.”  
  
Futaba saluted. “Roger! Maybe I’ll even take him out to the park, get him some fun food-”  
  
“No sugar,” Goro said firmly.  
  
“Hmph, like I don’t know my own nephew!” Futaba stuck her tongue out at him and he reached out, yanking on it.  
  
“PEH!” she spit and shook her head. “Don’t touch my tongue with your nasty gay nerd hands!”  
  
Goro smiled a bit, the weight on his shoulders at least somewhat lessened. He was lucky to have family like her.  
  
\---  
  
Two hours later, Goro was sitting in Sumire’s kitchen, quietly drinking some green tea as she read over the note his alter had written, her face growing paler the longer she stared at it. As soon as she finished reading, her hands snapped to her sides and she bowed so hard she nearly hit her head on the table.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Goro san! I just couldn’t tell you until he gave me permission, it would have been a betrayal of his trust!”  
  
Goro raised an eyebrow, curious. “His.. the one who wrote this? He asked you not to tell me?”  
  
Sumire stood up straight, nodding sharply, “Yes, that’s right. You see, I’ve known you for nearly three years, but I’ve known Loki for a little over two. It took me a while to piece things together, and he would always try to run off when I asked about him, but I finally managed to get him to explain your unique situation.”  
  
Goro stared at her blankly, honestly not sure he expected an answer like that. The way she talked, it was like this Loki was a person entirely separate from him, with his own thoughts and desires, and… maybe he was. This was all still a lot for Goro to wrap his head around, and he barely knew a thing about what this whole situation entailed. It was more unsettling than anything, really, thinking another person was essentially wearing his skin, living their own life in his body.  
  
“I really wanted to tell you, Goro san. I tried to convince Loki a lot, but he was so sure you weren’t ready to handle it. From this note, I’m going to guess you went to therapy, and he had to make you stay,” she sighed.  
  
Goro nodded slowly. “Yes, I… believe that’s what happened.”  
  
Sumire brightened, “Oh! But wait, you actually listened to me and went to therapy! That’s amazing!”  
  
Goro smiled despite himself; her earnest joy was contagious. “I’m still having a lot of trouble understanding all this, to be honest. I’m not angry with you, just a bit overwhelmed with the entire situation.”  
  
Sumire sat down at the table, resting her chin against her palms and giving a short sigh, “Yeah, I guess it’d take more than a couple hours to cope. Um, now that Loki’s given me permission though, please don’t hesitate to ask me anything! I’ll tell you as much as I can!”  
  
“Thank you,” Goro replied, “I’m sure I will have a lot of questions as time goes on, for now though, I suppose I just want to know… is it entirely different people? Or is it still just me? But… a me I can’t recall?”  
  
Sumire frowned, looking down at the table, “Well, from all the stuff I looked up, I think each alter is still a part of you. You’re all kind of equal parts of a whole, if that makes sense. It’s like, you’re all different parts of a whole person, but, also kind of whole people yourselves.”  
  
“I see. That makes very little sense to me,” Goro replied. “But that’s fine, I just… I worry, if they are individual, how are they making people perceive me?”  
  
Sumire straightened, “Oh, they’re really protective of you, Goro! They’re all protective of Jose too, they’d never want anything to hurt you or him! Actually, Loki’s main concern is always taking care of both of you. And the furthest he’s ever gone is punching a man in the face, but um, to be fair, you’ve also done that.”  
  
Goro sighed and shook his head, not exactly _thrilled_ that this other person was punching people, but she wasn't wrong that Goro was just as ill tempered at times. “Fair enough."

He paused, thinking about how Rose had said something about having spoken with two of them. Were there only two, or were there even more people locked away in his subconscious? 

He looked at Sumire, slowly saying, "May I ask… how many people..? Or, how many do you know?”  
  
Sumire hummed in thought, tapping her chin. “Let’s see… Loki fronts most often, next to you of course. Then there’s Robin, they’re very sweet, but don’t tend to front as much, and…. Honey. That’s what I call him anyway, I don’t think he has a real name. He’s a kid, maybe five or six, and he almost never fronts, but he’s nice, and Jose loves playing with him.”  
  
Goro looked down at his tea, unsure how to feel about all of this. “It’s like all these lives have been passing me by right under my own nose… and one of them is a child? I suppose… the therapist did say it stems from trauma. It does make sense that a part might have never grown past the trauma of losing her…” he shook his head, not wanting to depress Sumire. “Ah, um, thank you. For explaining. I think that’s probably as much information as I can handle for now. Though, if Ann knows, I’d like to talk to her a bit as well.”  
  
Sumire reached out, patting his hand reassuringly, “You’re taking it really well. It’s scary, learning you aren’t you all the time, but I think once you adjust, you’ll get along with the others pretty well. They all care about you, and so do I.”  
  
Goro took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, “Thank you, Sumire. I mean it.”  
  
She got up and yanked Goro out of his seat, pulling him into a tight hug. She was so strong for such a small woman, her brute strength about crushing him with affection. “Always.”  
  
\---  
  
Goro sat outside Ann’s daycare for about twenty minutes, fingers thrumming against his steering wheel as he waited for the last of the kids to get picked up and Ann to head out for the day. She exited with her assistant, talking to him as he remained laser focused on a piece of paper he was seemingly attacking with a pencil.  
  
“-and make sure you use at least half of your paycheck for _food_ , understand?” she was saying.  
  
Goro had only talked directly to Yusuke a few times, but even he knew the man somehow had worse eating habits than Goro himself. The strange artist nodded, mumbling something Goro couldn’t hear, and then headed off down the street. It seemed he walked just about everywhere he went. Sometimes Goro wasn’t fully convinced that he wasn’t homeless.  
  
Ann watched him go, and, just as she was about to get in her car, Goro gave a little honk. She just about jumped out of her skin, letting out a sharp breath and putting a hand to her chest. She walked up to his car as he rolled the window down.  
  
“Goro! That was so rude, I could’ve had a heart attack! What are you even doing here? Isn’t Jose at home?” she asked.  
  
Goro nodded, “Yes. He’s with Futaba. I actually wanted to talk to you for a bit, do you think we could go back to the shore? I’ll drive.”  
  
Ann hesitated, looking back towards her car, “Shiho’s waiting at home… what did you need to talk about?”  
  
Goro shifted a bit in his seat, “...I went to therapy today.”  
  
Ann gasped, eyes lighting up, “You did?! That’s wonderful! But- what’s the problem? Oh my gosh, you aren’t gonna get in trouble for your past, are you?”  
  
Goro let out a soft laugh, “No no, she assured me I wouldn’t. But ah… evidently I am not the one who divulged said past to her.”  
  
Ann was silent for a minute. She looked down towards the ground, guilty. “...I’ll come with you for a bit. I guess you probably have a lot of questions, huh?”  
  
“Less so, now that I’ve spoken with Futaba and Sumire. But… I was wondering how much you knew, and I actually wanted to discuss something else, as well.”  
  
Ann got in his passenger seat and patted his shoulder, “Yeah, alright. I guess one of us really should have said something sooner, huh?”  
  
Goro began to drive. “I was angry at first, but I can’t really blame any of you. It’s not a very easy thing to bring up I’m sure, and it seems as though these alters were intent on keeping me in the dark, for whatever reason. Though I’m sure I could guess.”  
  
Ann sighed, leaning against the window, “Yeah… I talk to Robin the most-do you know their names yet?”  
  
“Sumire told me.”  
  
“Alright, well, Robin is kinda like a friend of mine too. It’s like um, they’re kinda a caretaker. They’re actually why I knew about your past. I guess they kinda like, formed? Were born? I dunno, um, they came about cause you couldn’t handle some stuff as a kid. I guess they kept you out of trouble? I wasn’t actually sure if you knew or not, but you never brought it up, so, I thought I shouldn’t either.”  
  
Goro was quiet as she talked, his brow furrowed. He came to a stop by the same shore she’d driven him to the week before and got out. “My past was very troubled, certainly. Ann, can you tell me, what of the other ones? Did they talk to you about anything too?”  
  
Ann followed him, walking alongside him to the same bench on the sand. “Hm… I met the little kid a couple times, but he’s shy and doesn’t really talk much. Then uh… Loki. You wanted to know about him, right?”  
  
Goro nodded, taking a seat and gazing out towards the waves. “I wanted to make sure that none of them are as dangerous as I used to be.”  
  
Ann sighed, sitting next to him and hugging his arm. “They came about to protect you, Goro. No one is dangerous. I bet you must’ve been worried about Jose, huh?”  
  
Goro was quiet. It felt weird to say it aloud, fearing that some part of him might cause harm to the person he loved most. Maybe it seemed far fetched, but with all the harm he had caused that he remembered, he couldn’t help but wonder about all the things he couldn’t recall.  
  
“Loki doesn’t like me,” Ann said gently, “But he’s not dangerous. He thinks I’m too soft on you, I think, but it doesn’t bother me. He’s great with Jose, too. He’s so fiercely protective of that kid, I don’t think a single person in there loves Jose any less than you do.”  
  
Goro sighed shakily. He knew Sumire and Futaba had told him the same, but somehow hearing it from Ann was what really made him feel better. He leaned his head against hers, closing his eyes, “...thank you, Ann. That actually makes me feel quite a lot better.”  
  
“Hey, anytime. I mean, even if they are great people, finding this out must be so confusing and scary. I’m totally here for you, alright?” Ann hugged him tight, leaning her head against his chest.  
  
He hugged her back, letting himself relax a bit. “There’s one other thing I wanted to ask, if you didn’t mind.”  
  
“Anything, what’s up, Goro?” Ann replied.  
  
Goro looked down at the sand beneath their feet, mulling it over. “About your idea to write a different kind of book… what kind do you think I might be good at writing?”  
  
\---  
  
That night, Goro ate dinner with his family. He cooked with Futaba and Jose, and only burnt the chicken a little bit. Futaba prepped the vegetables, and both adults watched, ashamed, as the toddler sauteed noodles and veggies with more skill than either of them.  
  
Goro stood over Jose’s shoulder while he cooked, just making sure no oil spattered and that he didn’t touch any hot metal. Jose was so proud of himself, though, and even managed to successfully pick up the pan and give the veggies a little toss.  
  
Futaba sat at the table, pouring unsweetened almond milk into three different cups, “Jose’s cooking level is way higher than normal, it’s totally unfair,” she chuckled.  
  
“I just like to help Papa,” Jose smiled, leaning forward to try and turn the heat off. He was too short, and Goro had to quickly lift him up before his little chest hit the hot pan.  
  
“You help me more than enough,” Goro assured, clicking the heat off for him. “The food smells wonderful, good job.”  
  
Jose beamed, very proud of himself. Goro set him down and he ran to grab one of the glasses of milk from Futaba while Goro got plates together. “Did you have a good day with your aunt?”  
  
Jose nodded, cup still to his mouth, and sloshed some milk. He made a face and set the cup down, running to grab a paper towel. “Yeah, we played a game on the computer, and I got to show her how much Japanese I can do!”  
  
“The kid’s too bright, he might even be as smart as me one day,” Futaba grinned.  
  
Goro set the plates on the table and walked over to help Jose clean up, “I’m sure he will. Jose, you’ve been doing amazing.”  
  
He hesitated, feeling unsure, but knowing he needed to talk to Jose about this too. He was the last person Goro had to discuss this with, and he just needed to be positive that Jose really did feel safe and happy with him.  
  
“Jose… can I ask you about something?” Goro started carefully, not wanting Jose to think he was in trouble in any way.  
  
Jose nodded, looking up at Goro with his big, curious eyes. “Something wrong, Papa?”  
  
“Nothing’s wrong,” Goro assured him, walking over to the table and waiting until they were all sitting down. “I was just wondering if I’d seemed like I was ever… someone else, around you.”  
  
Jose blinked slowly, resting his chin in his hands and puffing his cheeks out. “You didn’t know about them?” he finally asked.  
  
Goro shook his head, “I didn’t. I saw a very nice doctor today, she’s helping me understand everything a little better. I just wanted to make sure everyone is nice to you.”  
  
Futaba comfortingly patted Goro’s hand, and Jose looked up at him, searching his face. After a minute, a big grin cracked across his face, and he replied, “Robin cooks better than you, papa. And Mr. Loki showed me how to throw rocks at mean kids. I told him I wasn’t gonna do that, though. And sometimes, sometimes you act kinda like my age, is that another person too? I like watching cartoons with you like that, it’s fun!”  
  
Goro let out a breath, the last of the weight on his mind finally easing. It was still a lot to process, and he wasn’t sure he’d fully understand for a long time, but so long as Jose felt safe and happy with him, it would all be okay. He felt like a bit of a failure, thinking his eight year old had figured out more about him than he himself knew, but he could deal with that.  
  
They spent the next hour eating dinner and discussing the alters. Futaba and Jose told Goro more about them, and at one point Jose ran to his room and came back with a little wooden disc with a rose carved into it, which he claimed Robin had made for him. Goro thought it was so bizarre that his hands could have made something so delicate and pretty, even if it wasn’t he himself who’d made it.  
  
After they ate and Futaba finished a story about Loki planting crabgrass in one of the neighbor’s lawns, a story which explained a _lot_ to Goro about why that neighbor hated him, they all went to the living room and watched a movie until Jose fell asleep.  
  
It was around nine at night when Goro finished tucking Jose into bed. He kissed his forehead and walked back to the living room, where Futaba had turned off the movie and was typing at lightspeed on her laptop. She acknowledged him with a little half wave as he approached.  
  
“Hey, forgoing my usual jabs, thank you for all your help today. I really appreciate it, and… I don’t know what I’d do without family like you,” Goro said awkwardly, rubbing his arm.  
  
Futaba stopped typing. She looked up at him, the glare of her computer screen on her glasses obscuring her eyes. She snorted so hard that it made her cough, and jumped up off the sofa to throw her skinny arms around Goro’s neck, “You total dweeb! Oh my god, that was the dorkiest thing you’ve ever said!”  
  
Goro shoved her off of him and crossed his arms, flushing as he looked away, “Hey! I’m trying to be genuine here, you neon colored dryer lint!”  
  
Futaba cackled, jumping up into a frog crouch on the couch, “Ooh that’s a new one. Updating the insult repertoire?” She adjusted her lenses and smiled up at him. “and uh, you’re welcome, or whatever. I know mom was worried about me getting to know you after everything that happened, but… I’m glad I did. You’re pretty good family too, or whatever.”  
  
Goro reached down and ruffled up her hair, making her screech. “I’m glad we agree then,” he hummed.  
  
Goro headed to his office after that, sitting down in front of his computer for the first time in over two weeks. He needed to have something tangible for his agent in just a few days, and while the anxiety was hammering away in his chest, he believed in himself to actually do this. He took a deep, shaky breath, and opened up a blank word document.  
  
If he hadn’t been sure before, then being made aware of his multiple identities made him positive that he needed to move on from his past, instead of writing things that continually forced him to relive it. It was a gamble, he might get fired, he might lose his contracts, but for once he felt like it was worth the risk.  
  
He looked down at his phone, set on top of the pamphlet the therapist had given him, and stared back at the screen. He pushed any thoughts of his thriller series out of his head, and began to type something entirely new.  
  
\---  
  
Two days later, Goro sat on his couch, nervously waiting as Futaba and Ann read the last pages of his manuscript. He had only managed four chapters, but hopefully it would be enough to tide over his agent for now. He’d already sent the email with the drafts, but he wanted the others opinions on it. God he hoped it wasn’t awful.  
  
Futaba finished first, setting her phone down and simply nodding. She didn’t say anything yet, waiting for Ann to finish up. The blonde was a much slower reader, but Goro took it as a good sign that she was staring at the screen so intensely. It took about ten minutes, but finally Ann finished as well, setting down her own phone.  
  
“And done!” she sighed and wiped her eyes, “Oh my god, I think I teared up a little… Goro-”  
  
Goro tensed, this was the moment of truth.  
  
Ann beamed at him. “It was AMAZING! I wanna know what happens next! I told you coming of age might work good, but mixing fantasy in there? I didn’t even think of that.”  
  
Futaba gave two thumbs up. “It’s way good brobro. I mean, you’re gonna edit it, right? Cause there’s like twenty typos. But the story is great! I’d ask what made you think of it, but, I think we both know.”  
  
Goro smiled softly, feeling the tension leave his shoulders. “Yes. I’m relieved you both enjoyed it. It wasn’t too much, making the main character an alien?”  
  
“Uh, it’s like, genius?” Ann replied, “and he sounds SO cute, a little alien that doesn’t understand how families work or how to make friends… I think it’s a way healthier way to write about your experiences, Goro.”  
  
“Though I get the feeling a certain baby boy might’ve inspired all that stuff about space, yeah?” Futaba grinned.  
  
Goro laughed and looked down at his sent emails, the title of his new story looking back at him. ‘Starboy’, a story about a child alien that crash lands on earth and has to learn how to blend in and find a place to belong. It wasn’t exactly original, but Goro felt like he could draw from his own experience in a much safer way, writing something like this. And maybe he could even take those past experiences and turn them into something other lost, lonely children could resonate with. He just hoped his agent wouldn’t be furious over the change.  
  
“You sent it to Sumi too, right? She’ll LOVE this,” Ann said.  
  
“Of course. I thanked her for the push to make the life changes, as well. She’s busy today, but I look forward to her thoughts this weekend.”  
  
“Hey, speaking of the weekend, you got plans? Heard anything from a certain handsome thief man?” Futaba questioned.  
  
Goro flushed pink. Truth be told, he HAD heard from Akira, quite a lot, in fact. He’d felt too embarrassed to talk to him in person when he dropped Jose off at school, but the persistent man had texted him, insisting that he was still fond of Goro. The two had actually been texting fairly consistently both yesterday and today, but, wait-  
  
“Don’t you know _exactly_ how much I’ve heard from him?” Goro huffed.  
  
Futaba snickered, “Maaybe. But maybe I wanted you to say it in front of Ann too.”  
  
Ann giggled, “Ooh, you’re still talking to Akira? I’m kinda surprised you haven’t run off yet! Isn’t this scary for you?”  
  
Goro sighed, “... It is scary. But, you know, perhaps it’s healthy for me. I-I want to take things slow, don’t get me wrong, but… potentially entering into a relationship with him might not be terrible.”  
  
“Oh my god, just say going on dates sounds dope,” Futaba snorted, “you sound like a robot who can’t comprehend human relations.”  
  
Goro shoved her arm while Ann laughed. His damn gremlin sister. Though she wasn’t entirely _wrong,_ it was still rude.  
  
Goro took the ladies out to lunch, deciding that actually getting some work done was worth celebrating. They went to the nearby cafe, where, much to Goro’s dismay, Akira seemed to be on shift.  
  
It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had just been him, but he was here with his best friend and his hacker sister, one of whom’s favorite pastime was reading his personal texts. And it definitely didn’t help that Akira was picking up on the ladies teasing attitude, and took the opportunity to come up to their table and take over for their server.  
  
“I’ll take this table, Nana, you could use a break anyway,” Akira said as he ran up to the young woman who had been about to take their order.  
  
“Oh, thank you,” she smiled, bowing slightly before walking away.  
  
Akira grinned broadly, pulling out a notepad and turning to the group. “Hello stranger, what can I get for you?”  
  
Goro groaned and covered his face while the women snickered. Ann crossed one leg over the other and looked up at Akira, her eyes glittering with mischief. “Oh, hello there, I’d like a caramel iced latte. I’d ask what you recommend, but I don’t think your preference is on the menu.”  
  
Futaba snorted and joined in, much to Goro’s utter horror. “Hehe, I’m wondering what kind of desserts you might suggest, are you a fan of cake?”  
  
Goro pressed his face to the table, throwing his arms over his head. He glanced up at Akira, whose face looked a bit pink too. Clearly he hadn’t been prepared for the whirlwind of chaos that was Futaba. “H-um, hm. Hey Goro?”  
  
“She has spyware on my phone,” Goro grumbled, muffled against his arms.  
  
Akira’s face burned a deep red at that, “ah.”  
  
“Thought you’d come over here and torment me, but you only succeeded in dragging yourself into hell as well,” Goro scoffed, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.  
  
Ann and Futaba burst out laughing, and Akira awkwardly stared down at his notepad. “C-can I just take your orders?”  
  
Futaba cackled like a little hyena. “Yeah, do you have sausage? Or are you saving that for-”  
  
Goro reached out and shoved a napkin in her mouth. “She wants the fried cod. She’ll like it.”  
  
Akira just silently wrote down the order, face burning harder.  
  
After the nightmare of placing their orders and getting through a lunch in which the women teased so hard that Akira seemed to regret taking over their table, the group headed back out. Goro stayed back to pay, and before he could leave, Akira stopped him.  
  
He reached out and took Goro’s hand, face still somewhat pink, “Hey uh, that was a nightmare, huh?” he laughed nervously.  
  
Goro sighed, letting the man awkwardly hold his hand over the checkout counter, “I wish I could say you get used to it, but… you really don’t. I’m not apologizing though, you don’t have to live with the knowledge you’re related to one of them.”  
  
Akira squeezed Goro’s hand, eyes crinkling. “You’re so mean, it’s cute.”  
  
Goro finally pulled his hand back. “Are you just going to hold me here, flirting in public all day?”  
  
Akira shook his head. “Oh, no, right, I had something to ask you!”  
  
Goro tipped his head, waiting for the man to go on. Akira played nervously with the ends of his bangs. “So um, there’s a meteor shower tomorrow night, supposedly you can get a really good view of it at the beach. So I uh, wanted to invite you out.”  
  
“As some sort of group hang out or..?”  
  
“As a date. A real one.”  
  
Goro shifted a bit, feeling his face tinge pink. “Even after last time, you really still want that?”  
  
“I mean, I thought our text conversations made that clear enough,” Akira replied, giving this far too adorable lopsided smile.  
  
Goro crossed his arms. “Yes, well, I needed to be sure. And um, I would like that a lot, but… I wouldn’t want to leave Jose out of such an event. He loves space more than anything, I couldn’t possibly go on a date instead of taking him to see it.”  
  
“Bring him, then,” Akira replied, “I’ll bring the girls too, and hey, we can invite our friends and then pawn the kids off on them when we want to take a romantic walk along the shore.”  
  
Goro chuckled softly, “Now who’s being mean?”  
  
He looked over his shoulder, where Futaba was shoving the door back open and waving for Goro to hurry up. He sighed and turned back to Akira. “It sounds nice, I’ll text you later and see what we can work out.”  
  
Akira beamed, eyes positively sparkling. “I look forward to it.”  
  
\---  
  
The next evening, a good hour before the sunset, Goro was getting into the car with Jose, Futaba, and an armful of beach towels. His sister had readily agreed to intrude on his beach date and watch Jose when things got, in her words, ‘chilli pepper spicy’. Now, he hadn’t asked her, he’d asked Ann, but Futaba could see his texts so he wasn’t sure why he expected any different.  
  
Ann had also agreed to come, she was actually bringing Shiho for their own little date. That did make Goro feel less awkward, like it was a double date instead of there just being a third wheel. Futaba was still there, but well, it was her own choice to be a fifth wheel, that was on her.

Just as he was packing everyone in, he got a phone call. He frowned as he recognized his agent’s number, and braced himself as he answered. “Hello..?”  
  
Nadia screamed into the phone, a loud, startling sound that made Goro pull the phone away from his ear, and made Futaba look over in confusion. The woman cleared her throat and spoke, this time at a reasonable volume. “I don’t know who possessed your body and made you write, but thank them for me. This is NOTHING like your other books, and I’m LIVING for it.”  
  
Goro blinked in shock, he really hadn’t expected her to be so on board with this. “Really? I’m not in trouble for changing the book’s genre?”  
  
Nadia let out a sharp laugh, “You’re a household name! As long as you make money, the company doesn’t give a fuck what’s between the pages. And this? This will make money. Kids and adults both love this kind of stuff. If anything, you just became a little less niche.”  
  
“So...I can go ahead with this? We aren’t out of a job?” Goro asked again, steadily growing more excited.  
  
“We’re back in business, Goro. Get me a full manuscript in the next two months, and then take me out to dinner for dealing with you all year,” Nadia replied.  
  
Goro laughed, relieved and overjoyed. “You’ve got a deal.”  
  
He hung up with her and looked over to see Futaba beaming at him. “You did it. I never doubted you!”  
  
Jose rocked forward in his seat, “What’d you do, Papa?”  
  
Goro smiled and shook his head, fingers thrumming against the wheel, “I just thought of a new book is all, Jose. When it’s done, maybe I’ll read it to you.”  
  
Jose gasped, “Really?! I’d love to know what you write! It can be a new bedtime story!”  
  
Futaba patted Goro’s shoulder. “Good job, seriously.”  
  
Goro let out a little breath, another world of weight off his shoulders, and pulled out of his driveway. He had finally escaped the weight of his traumatizing book deadline, and now, now he could truly relax and enjoy tonight.  
  
\---  
  
When they arrived at the beach, Goro saw Ann and Shiho had already arrived, and Akira was just pulling up, another familiar face having tagged along with him. Sumire popped out of his passenger seat and walked over with a spring in her step.  
  
“Goro san! Apologies for not replying to your email, but I thought I could tell you in person that your story was absolutely wonderful. I hope you’ll let me know when I can buy a copy!” She smiled brightly at him, and Goro couldn’t help but smile back.  
  
“Thank you, Sumire san. I will say I am quite surprised though, I thought I had told Akira that Ann and her wife were joining us, did he invite you beforehand?”  
  
Sumire’s face flushed pink, and for maybe the third time in the years he’d known her, she looked genuinely flustered. “Oh u-um, Akira san just gave me a ride, he didn’t invite me.”  
  
Goro raised an eyebrow, confused. That was when Futaba walked up, Jose in her arms. She handed him to Goro, a smug look on her face, and said, “I invited her. I wasn’t planning on being some lamo third wheel to the double couples, duh.”  
  
Goro looked between Sumire and his sister, feeling somehow even more confused. Jose kicked his legs and made an unhappy sound. “Papa I want down, I wanna see my friends.”  
  
Goro shook his head. “Ah, right, sorry Jose.” He set him down and watched as he booked it across the small parking area, running up to the twins, who Akira had just helped out of the car.  
  
He looked back to Sumire, who was bashfully avoiding eye contact, and Futaba, who had now grabbed her hand and was grinning so wide her face looked ready to split.  
  
“How-how long has this been going on? How did I not know? I talk to both of you so often!” Goro protested.  
  
Sumire looked away harder. “I-I was worried you’d be angry, she is your sister after all, what if you didn’t think I was good enough?!”  
  
Futaba snorted, “I just wanted to see how long it’d take you to figure it out. You’re so dense that I can’t tell if it’s funny or sad.”  
  
Goro shook his head and huffed, “If anything, Sumire san, you’re TOO good for her.”  
  
Akira walked up then, and Goro elected to ignore the ladies, turning his full focus to the man in front of him. He had left off his fake glasses, and while it was cold out, the day was warm enough that Akira had foregone his coat as well. Goro thought he really was a damn useless gay, because he shouldn’t think Akira looked so good in a scoop neck sweater and black jeans.  
  
Goro smiled, “Hello. You look nice this evening.”  
  
Akira took Goro’s hand and kissed his knuckles sweetly, a motion that made Goro feel weak in the knees. God he was hopeless.  
  
“You look nice too, though, that’s always the case,” Akira replied smoothly.  
  
“GAAAY!” Futaba had her hands cupped over her mouth, and was shouting from roughly two feet away.  
  
Goro shot her a flat glare, and Sumire scurried off, wisely not wanting to be a part of this.  
  
Jose and the girls ran up, and Jose began to tug at the end of Goro’s shirt, “Papa the sun’s almost set, it’s gonna start soon!”  
  
Justine held up a frog she had found, saying nothing, and Caroline ran around with her arms out, making excited airplane noises. Akira crouched down to compliment Justine on her find, and Goro pet Jose’s hair. “Let’s go find a place to set up, then.”  
  
“Leave your new friend back by the mud,” Akira said gently.  
  
“Why should I do that?” Justine asked.  
  
“Because, the frog will get hurt if you set it in the sand. You want it to be happy, right?”  
  
The girl looked down at the creature, then begrudgingly set it down by the muddy edge of the dirt parking area. “I suppose so.”  
  
“We can look for more back home later. Ryuji might even help,” Akira assured, guiding both girls towards the sand.  
  
Goro smiled a bit. “Developed a bit of a backbone, have you? I suppose not letting toddlers walk all over you all the time isn’t _much_ of an improvement, but it is something.”  
  
Akira crossed his arms, watching as Goro unrolled a beach towel. “Well, someone brought it to my attention that I wasn’t doing them any favors. And… they have seemed happier since I’ve been a little more structured with them. My roommate, Ryuji, he’s been impressed too.”  
  
Goro patted the towel down and took a seat, looking up at Akira expectantly. “That would be the friend you mentioned, yes? I assume he’s happy that your little creatures aren’t wreaking havoc every second of the day anymore.”  
  
Akira sat next to him and let out a soft laugh. “Probably. I’m happy about it too. You know, for someone with so many problems, you don’t give half bad advice.”  
  
Goro hummed, placing a hand on Akira’s leg and leaning against him. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”  
  
Akira squeezed his hand, and both of them just looked out at the rest of the beach for a few minutes. The sky was a purpley blue, stars just starting to show as the last rays of the sun vanished under the waves. The kids were within eyesight, playing in the sand and digging around for something. Futaba had set up a towel a little ways away, and Goro wasn’t sure how he felt about seeing his sister out there, having more social skills than him.  
  
Ann walked up to the men, greeting them. “Aww, lookit you two, out here acting like normal adults, I’m so proud!”  
  
Goro sat up, moving away from Akira to look up at her. “Very funny. But… it is rather nice, I suppose.”  
  
Shiho laughed softly, her gentle, dark eyes looking him over. “It’s nice to see you looking so relaxed, Goro. I hope this means you won’t be stealing my wife away from dinnertime as often.”  
  
Goro huffed, glancing away from her judging gaze. “I’ll certainly try not to.”  
  
Shiho patted his head and smiled sweetly. “I’m proud of you too, you know.”  
  
Goro looked back up at her. “... Thank you.”  
  
Akira gave her a little two finger salute, saying, “Nice to meet you, miss. Sh...iho? Right?”  
  
Shiho nodded. “Ann told me about you. I hope you’re settling in well, Akira.”  
  
Akira hummed, “Yeah, it’s not been too bad.”  
  
“Well, c’mon, let’s let them get back to their date, I wanna set up by the water!” Ann said excitedly.  
  
“Love, we’ll get wet during high tide-” Shiho protested as Ann dragged her off.  
  
Goro sighed and leaned back against Akira. “Shiho is a sweet woman. Most of the time.”  
  
Akira laughed lightly. “She already made a thinly veiled threat letting me know not to think about stealing from Ann. I like her.”  
  
Goro scoffed, “So you just like anyone who threatens you?”  
  
“Don’t worry, you’re special,” Akira hummed, wrapping an arm gently around Goro’s side.  
  
“... Actually, Akira, I might need to mention something,” Goro said, realizing that there was one more person he hadn’t talked to about his new diagnosis yet. And, if he’d be dating this man, it might be important for him to know that it wouldn’t always be Goro he was talking to.  
  
“The alters? Sumire told me you knew now,” Akira replied simply.  
  
Goro pulled away from Akira, looking at him in utter shock. “Wh- how could you have possibly-”  
  
“Sumire explained it at her party a little,” Akira said, rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “After uh, after you told me off for being a shit parent. Or, I think Sumi said that was Loki? He’s meaner than you. I figured it was why you didn’t remember talking to me sometimes, especially after that happened.”  
  
“O-oh,” was all Goro could think to say.  
  
Akira offered a hand out for Goro to take. “I don’t know all that much about it. DID, right? But uh, it’s not gonna make me feel any different towards you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”  
  
Goro huffed and clasped his hand. “You’re far too accepting of strangers' faults.”  
  
“It’s not a fault,” Akira insisted.  
  
Goro blushed, genuinely not sure how to react to such an earnest reply. He sighed and looked up at the sky. “... Well, if everything you’ve dealt with from me thus far hasn’t run you off, I suppose you’re worth a chance. I’ll just have to uncover all your problems to make up for it.”  
  
“What? So we can be fucked up together?” Akira chuckled.  
  
Goro smiled, watching as the first star of the night shot across the sky. “Yeah. We can be fucked up together.”  
  
Jose ran up, practically knocking Goro over as he scrambled into his lap. The girls joined them shortly after, covered in sand and holding a variety of shells in their little hands. Jose pointed up as another star shot across the sky, making an excited noise.  
  
“Papa Papa look! They’re starting, they’re starting!” Jose yelled, just a little too loud.  
  
Goro pet his hair with one hand, letting himself lean back against Akira as he watched the stars, “It’s lovely, isn’t it?”  
  
Akira hugged him back around the waist, quite a feat since his girls were now sprawled across his lap, pointing up at the sky with wonder filled eyes. Goro glanced at the kids, making sure they were distracted by the meteor shower above, and took the chance to give Akira a swift kiss.  
  
The biggest, dorkiest grin spread across the man’s face, and he squeezed Goro as close as he could. Jose reached both hands up, pretending to grasp one of the shooting stars in his little hand, “Make a wish,” he whispered.  
  
Goro blinked, looking down at him and his bright, happy face, the blues and whites of the stars glittering in his dark eyes. He scanned the beach, where his friends and family were watching the sky, happy and content to spend time together like this. He looked at Akira and his children, people he didn’t know well, but that he already felt so natural around. He turned his attention back to the sky and smiled, feeling a warmth in his chest that he hadn’t felt in years.  
  
“What would I possibly wish for? I already have everything.”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another HUGE HUGE thanks to Ermina, Blitheimp, and Fry, who made such wonderful art for this story, I was honored to have worked with such wonderful people!
> 
> Give them a follow on twitter[@Ermina_29](https://mobile.twitter.com/ermina_29), [@Blitheimp](https://mobile.twitter.com/blitheimp) and [@Certifries](https://mobile.twitter.com/certifries)!
> 
> And follow me [@PentheDragon](https://mobile.twitter.com/PentheDragon) on Twitter if you want updates anytime I post future stories or update chapters to existing works!
> 
> And one more time the links to the art itself:
> 
> [Cover Image by Ermina](https://twitter.com/Ermina_29/status/1348579577019437057?s=19)   
>  [Comic by Blitheimp](https://twitter.com/blitheimp/status/1348625123205672961?s=19)   
>  [End Picture by Fry](https://twitter.com/certifries/status/1348561867350925312?s=19)


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